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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200 |
I'm glad you have the support of your Mom!! She sounds like a lot of fun ----- Don't you wish you could be a fly on the wall when it happens???
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
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Posts: 2,197 |
Yeah, my mom is not interesting in helping me with the marriage at all, but she is enjoying putting a little damper in WH's little plan. They have never really cared for each other and he refuses to have a relationship with her since our reconciliation a year ago. So she is not at risk of losing anything here.
If he had not so casually mentioned his relocation to my step father, this wouldn't be as tidy. But since he is being so "open" with everyone, he is not hiding anymore, what's the problem?
I am still scared to death. But he is gone, gone, gone. Even if he sees the error of his ways, he is much to egotistical to admit he made a mistake.
The kicker is, this business is where my wedding dress was preserved and stored for years. He really couldn't have picked a worse place to do this crap.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Jean, what do you need a cheerleader for if you are skipping town and leaving your Mother to do the hard work? That takes no bravery to hide behind mama's skirts. If you want to save your marriage, it really would be better if you contacted the OWH yourself. It is important that you speak with the him and stay in touch with him in order to compare notes and bust up this affair. He should be your ally.
It is important that your H understand that you are the one who exposed so he knows that you are willing to do what it takes to save your marriage. Please don't hide behind your mother's skirts, Jean, you are a grown woman, for God's sake.
The purpose here is not to DESTROY your marriage, but to save your marriage by destroying the AFFAIR. Do you understand that?
And will you be notifying the OW's boss of the affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
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Posts: 2,197 |
So it would be very important in your opinion to call the business before my mom gets there?
I understand what you are saying, it is just ironic that I have never asked my mom for anything since I moved out of her home when I was 13. I really came close to calling OWH's yesterday, but I thought I was just having a panic attack and needed to learn patience.
I am not afraid of losing the marriage, I do have some peace about that today. I could be really screwed up still, but I have my sanity today.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Jean, I am not trying to help you lose a marriage, but to bust up the affair. Busting up the affair will give your marriage the best shot. That is the entire point here.
I think you should just go there and talk to OWH.[or call] I would also call up the business owner today so that the affairees feel the maximum effect of the exposure. Let them answer to the owner and her H. That might be just what it takes to kill this affair or hasten it's death.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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