p.s. no, I don't think you contact the OM. I think he is amoral and it would do no good.

I never heard from her last night. Which is odd. Ever since our son was boarn if one of us wasn't there at night the other would call and tell our son good night. We've done it for 5 years. I tried calling her because he wanted to tell her goodnight and text messaged her as well. She never called him or text messaged back. That is not like her. She's never neglected our son like that. Not even something that seems as small as that. But to us it's always been a big deal. It worries me. My son kept asking about her wanting to know where she was. How do you tell your child his mother is out with another man? How do you tell him his mother is tearing their world apart? How do you explain why you cry at night to your son? You can't. At least I can't.

I was so woried for her last night. I kept waking up and praying for her. Our son woke up as well. I feel so bad for him. I hope she can see this and I hope it eats at her. She is not a cruel woman. God I love her so much.

Thank goodness you have your son and she doesn't. She will likely feel guilty about catting around all night, which makes it an opportune time to give her the facts about the sexual predator she is dating. You might want to also take a stand about your boy to ensure he isn't exposed to this abuser and tell her that she can only visit the boy in your home, supervised, as long as she dates a sexual predator. She will not like that, but needs to understand that you will do what it takes to protect that boy.

That is her and her familys worst fear, that I will take her son from her. I don't want to have to do that to her but I don't want to have my son around that creature. I want to protect her as well. Just hold her close and reassure her that it will all be ok. I know I am not the man she left. I'm a better man. We are getting ready for church. Something we never did before. Somethings need changed. I know that now. I hope she sees it before it's too late.

I hope you are also planning on telling her family that she is having an affair with a sexual predator and that your son won't be allowed around him. Lost, if you felt you could trust your W in the past to have your son's best interest at heart, please diabuse yourself of that notion now. We have seen formerly wonderful parents do horrible things after they lost their mind in an affair. They are not the same people!

Her family won't belive me anymore than she will I bet. They hate me with a passion.

As for my wife I still see that part I knew and loved so well. It's still there. I want to help her bring it back. I miss it so much.

Well folks. I have some news to report. OM is out of picture.

They went out last night and he revealed his true side. She dumped his sorry butt soon after and realized her mistake. She came to me today and we've been talking for the past 7 hours or so about all the events from the begginging of the A to today and I told her everything I knew about him and she confirmed most of it was true to type. She cried like I've never seen her before. I've never seen this much guilt in her before. The fog has been lifted. She sees the damage she's done to me and her son and she is devastated as well. I told her all is forgiven. I've still got "Surving an Affair" on order and we are going to read that and I'll be getting "His needs/Her Needs" soon as well. Any advice would be welcome to get us on the road of recovery. I own you guys my marriage. You have practiclly saved my life. You and God have held me through this. I am in your debt for life.

lost, that is awesome! Thank goodness she came to her senses. Just keep doing what you are doing. You have a rough road ahead of you this year, so keep coming back here and let us help you through all this.

Wandering, Melody and all the rest of you. I owe you so much. I've learned so much about myself and my wife in this past week and half to last a lifetime. God has given us a second chance and I'm not wasting a second of it.

She's agreed to no contact. She was very happy to agree with that. With hi working next door it will be tough to keep him from contacting her but if he does we'll make sure he loses his job for sure and send his butt back to Missouri.

I can't wait for my books, I'm so thrilled. Pray for us. Thank you again.

76er

Awesome. I am very happy for you. We still have some work to do here so don't disappear on us. Withdrawal and recovery are your next challenges. Usually not as tough as what you just went through but tough none the less.

Mr. Wondering

I'm not going anywhere. Stay glued to these boards. They helped so far and I know the road is still going to be bumpy.

She despises the OM now because of who he is and what he's done. So the withdrawl is not going to be so bad. Her guilt over the whole thing is overwhelming her. She apologizes over and over thinking I'll hate her and I don't. I've accepted her apology and have offered my own for 7 years of neglect. She sees the changed man in me, she belives in me now. I'm not going to let that go. I've worked to hard and hurt to bad to screw up.

Lost,

I am so happy for you. I know you will continue to do the right thing and your marriage will be better than ever....

Keep us all informed of your progress. God Bless you both .....

I've been reading your post hurting and I feel for you. I wish you all the best and I will keep you in my prayers.

ty Lost I appreciate that .... I can't help but say I am a little jealous of you right now.... But I am so happy for you... I know all will be good for you both with hard work and love.....

Take care and good luck to you both ....