Hi,

This is my first time writing here, I'm kinda nervous and don't really know how to tell my story.
Me and my H had some issues before he left to Iraq, so it was easy for me to fall out of love with him and to build a big and strong wall, so that I don't get hurt. After 5-6 month I met a guy who helped me through my family and marriage problems, but also created more. After getting to know him better. I started having feelings for him, until my H came back from Iraq for R&R.Then I broke the contact totally off. Now me and my H working on to fix our marriage, but we only make baby steps and now he is in Iraq again for another 4 months. Could anybody give me some advice how I can love my H again like a wife does it?

I am glad you are here. I don't know what to say right now, I just wanted to let you know that I was rooting for you. I woke up one day, realized I was an adulterous wh0re and made a choice not to be that person anymore. It can be done if you choose. Nothing that OM ever did for me was worth the pain and self loathing I caused myself.

Now my H is having an affair that is ruining our family, this just stinks from all sides. Please try to reach out to family, friends and break this habit. It is just a nasty habit, an addiction.

I don't mean to be harsh, I am having a heartbreaking day due to adultery, I am just sick of it.

Hi Renee,

I too am a FWW (former wayward wife), I'll try and help you in any way that I can. I think that you a doing great in taking the first steps towards recovering your marriage...admitting an inappropriate relationship, stopping all contact, and now having the courage to post here. You may find that you will get more advice on the infidelity boards, particularly on the General Questions II forum. (you could just copy/paste your post there if you would like...)

First, a few questions...

1. Was yours an emotional affair(EA), a physical affair (PA), or both? Remember, COMPLETE honesty is CRUCIAL in having the kind of marriage (M) that, I'm sure, both you and your husband want.

2. How long did your affair last?

3. How did your husband (H) discover the affair (A)?

4. Have you and your H written and sent a no contact (NC) letter to the other man (OM)?

5. How long have you been married?

6. Have you purchased/read Surviving An Affair by Dr. Willard Harley?

7. Do you have children?

8. Is the OM married?

I know that this is a very difficult situation for the two of you...but you can get through this and have a better marriage than you have ever imagined. The people here are wonderful, and will help you as much as possible...keep an open mind, and you guys will prosper. Answering the above questions will help us to better help you. Welcome to Marriage Builders, we are so glad that you guys have found this miracle working site...

Kindest Regards,

Mrs. Wondering

Renee - Welcome. I hope you will stick around and learn all about how to have a better marriage than before. Lots of folks here have done it.

You might want to post under general questions, as the weekends are slow, and there is much more traffic there.

It is hard to go through all of this with your husband deployed, but I promise you it won't last forever.