me and WS split up in dec'03. decided to reconcile in feb'05. attended the MB weekend in May'05 in san francisco. The OM is on the other side of the planet and their relationship started on the internet. while we were separated, she went to visit him a couple of time so did he. i believe their romantic relationship ended some time in nov'04, however they remained friends over the internet. i've been watching her email/messenger to see if she's been in contact with him since we decided to get back together. they were. she even mailed him a postcard from san francisco when we went to the MB weekend seminar. Then I discovered that she's been emailing him from her work. Some time in June'05 we had a discussion. She said she finally sorted everything out in her head and wanted to be with me. Promised to stop all contact with him, which she I believe did. We've moved to another state just a couple of weeks ago. Two days ago, I checked her email and found that she had sent out a mass email to all friends and family telling them about new place, new life, etc. etc. OM was on the list of recipients, so I confronted her. She had accused me of not ever trusting her and said that i would never be able to trust her again and that she could not live like that anymore. in addition, she told me that i haven't been making her happy lately at all. she feels depressed, trapped, unappreciated, etc. all over again. We've tried doing Dr. Harley's program after the seminar and it did not work. Tried counseling through MB, did not work. At times, she tells me that the program is not good enough for her, other times she says she wants counseling "in person". i am stuck. i have 100% faith in the program and want to do it or anything else that will help us reconcile and be happy again. However, at this point, i feel like whenever i am upset about something (especially if it has something to do with our relationship and/or OM), my feelings and emotions are completely dismissed. she does not feel like she did anything wrong, does not feel the need to apologize and/or try to make me feel better and convince me that she hasn't been in contact w/OM, etc. I am stuck. She stayed out with a friend last night until 1:30 am (i did the night before by myself when I found the email and she dismissed my feelings/emotions). What to do, what to do? I don't have any willpower left to just once again step over myself, swallow my feelings and try to discuss HER issues with our relationship. I desperately need someone to tell me that everything is ok and what she did was just a mistake before i can go back to normal and at least start eating and sleeping again, leave along try to understand her side of the story......
i've asked her many times to please get OM our of my life by
1) not contacting him
2) dispose of his pictures. we had quite an argument when we were packing before the move and I suggested that we do not bring OM into our new house. She got very angry with me, but agreed to throw away all the pictures. I just found a TON of pictures on CDs she brought...
3) other things that remind me of him 24/7 that are posted around the house......
she just says that i need to accept the fact that she has a past and she does not want to forget her past and/or erase it out of her life by throwing away pictures, etc.
