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I hadposted this in another thread, but believe it just got lost so here it is again.
PLAN B LETTER:
Dear WH:
My deepest apologies for contributing to the loneliness and sadness in our Marriage that made your affair with OW possible. I got caught up in trying to be a good mom, housekeeper and provider while at the same time ignoring some physical issues that I should have been dealing with. I was not there for you and I was not meeting your needs. Now we are both suffering from my mistake.
I have been making improvements in myself, some of them may not even be noticeable to you, and am willing to work with you to create a life that will meet your emotional needs. But I cannot do that until you completely end your relationship with OW.
Until that happens I cannot see you or talk to you. I have made arrangements with our friends x & x to visit DS whenever yourlike. I have also spoken with x and if you need to communicate about DS or any other matter, it will have to be through x.
Please respect my decision to not see you right now. I have endured much pain because of your relationship with OW and I just cannot be with you, knowing that you are still in touch with her. I still love you, but cannot see you like this.
As soon as your are willing to permanently end your relationship with OW and are willing to follow measures to ensure that, I will be willing to talk about our future together.
I want to be your wife and best friend. I want to spend holidays with you and DS as a family. I want to experience with you the day DS looses his first tooth and learns to ride his bike without training wheels. I want to sing songs with you and laugh and play silly games. I want to rebuild our Marriage one day and for us to make each other happy again. I believe we can do this and stop hurting each other. I want you as my best friend again.
I loved you from the moment we had that first dance, I love you when we married and I love you still. I just cannot be with you or help you any longer while you are in a relationship with OW.
WH - I love you with all my heart,
BS
Feedback please!!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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That is a perfect letter. Short, sweet and to the point.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks ML - The letter in SAA is a perfect model....
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
but pick his pocket before you give him this letter ... see other thread!
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bwahahahaaaaaaaaa <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Pick his pocket!???!!! I wish I could go about that in a subtle manner. I have been so terribly independent with my $$$......With WH & I having seperate checking accounts, we have always just "split" things down the middle.......I have NEVER asked him for money(unless it was to help pay a bill that I couldn't cover) but not for things here & there.
I did see your post about casually asking for money here & there.....I can't remember where it was....
In regards to the Plan B letter...I do plan on sending a copy to OW, with a note much like the one in SAA.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Kim ... push the envelope
try doing things out of character for you
ask him sweetly for $$$ ...
put that money aside for the kids
pick his pocket
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I would send the Plan B copy to OW's HUSBAND not to OW
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Kim, when do you plan on asking him to move?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I need to do it soon. I think tomorrow????
We hugged this morning before I left & I teared up. Darn it. I pulled away & told him he was making me cry. He said, "I'm making me cry too."
I don't know if it is b/c he sees us breaking up & it makes him sad, if he was thinking of OW or what. WHO KNOWS.
I have been civil, yet distant. Probably too distant.
I think I am ready to ask him to move tomorrow.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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How 'bout I send a copy to each of them??
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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I need to do it soon. I think tomorrow???? Kim: I don't believe that you will do this......I think you are bluffing....."hoping"..."praying" that divine intervention steps in give you a stay of reprieve.....from doing a PLAN B............I ofcourse would then welcome a verbal thrashing from Melody Lane and yourself should you prove me wrong.....do you want to ante up here girl? Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Lem, I had a strong feeling that you were going to say something like that!!! I almost said something to you in the other thread like "You don't think I am going to do Plan B. Do ya' Lem?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You have been doubting me all along!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> You are putting me up for a challenge, huh?? I am of the competitive type. Although divine intervention would be great, I know that's not going to happen. I'll take you on - <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I don't know if there are any other possible scenarios I need to address....... Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Lem, I had a strong feeling that you were going to say something like that!!! I almost said something to you in the other thread like "You don't think I am going to do Plan B. Do ya' Lem?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You have been doubting me all along!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> You are putting me up for a challenge, huh?? I am of the competitive type. Although divine intervention would be great, I know that's not going to happen. I'll take you on - <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I don't know if there are any other possible scenarios I need to address....... Kim Good, then..I say you cross all of your "t's" and dot your "i's", then talk to your mentor Melody Lane, and then I think you need to $hit or get off the proverbial pot.....it is all pretty simple girl....my hard earned coin is sitting on your NOT being able to do this PLAN B any time soon????? I look forward to YOU telling me "I told you so....."...If you know me, I always gio with the sure thing, the thing that has happened over and over and over.... Well see... Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by lemonman; 10/03/05 10:10 PM.
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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LM, she is probably going to surprise you. She starts off with reticence when faced with a tough move, and mulls it over for a few days. But once she makes up her mind, she does it. She has already met some pretty tough challenges. She has come a very long way since the day she dropped off that anonymous letter to the OWH.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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LM, she is probably going to surprise you. She starts off with reticence when faced with a tough move, and mulls it over for a few days. But once she makes up her mind, she does it. She has already met some pretty tough challenges. She has come a very long way since the day she dropped off that anonymous letter to the OWH. Yes, I know this and admittedly my hand is trembling as I see the "book" getting ready to snag the cash out of it...but you know...something still tells me I will sadly "win" this bet...and it will be with pain that I do that....this is said in true core to the heart honesty. Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by lemonman; 10/03/05 10:27 PM.
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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So, let me just going over in my brain any other responses from WH ------I might surprise you all and tell you I did the deed tomorrow.
I'm off to bed!!!!
Sleep well all!!!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Just remember your standard answer that you keep repeating over and over again, ok? Night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hey Lem!!! I just saw your last post. Man, you are so doubting me. OUCH. No confidence in me at all.
My mentor ML knows I can do it!!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Hey Lem!!! I just saw your last post. Man, you are so doubting me. OUCH. No confidence in me at all.
My mentor ML knows I can do it!!
Kim He is playing "DARE YA!!" Don't pay him no mind!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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