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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 372
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Not much too update here except for the fact that the final hearing has been set for the 17th of this month. STBXWW came by a week ago yesterday to get the things we had already agreed on that she would take as she was moving into an apartment after living at her brothers for the past 5 months. House looks a little more empty now, just like my emotions in regards to her. We did speak for the first time the morning she came over. I already had plans to go dove hunting that afternoon, so I told her to come over and get whatever she needed and if she found later that she missed something to just let me know. The conversation was very straightforward and to the point, but it was at least cordial. Her brother called me to chat, three days later and everything was fine. We avoided any talk about the impending divorce and just kept it cordial. Not sure what that was all about. It may have been nothing more than what it was, or it may have been more. I dont know. Cant say I really care at this point. Just want to get it over with.

Last edited by WasCrushedNTexas; 10/10/05 11:52 AM.
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so sorry....

Joined: Apr 2005
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Thanks Pep,
you know there was something my pastor said in a sermon a couple of weeks ago about people that are brought up in homes where the father doesnt freely express his love for his children. He said that there was a tendency of these children to bounce from relationship to relationship, not knowing why they never felt fulfilled. In retrospect, in 10 years of being with STBXWW, I never heard her father tell her or any of the other kids that he loved them. He always had financial support for them, but little else. Its kind of pitiful now that I think about it.

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I’m also sorry to hear this WCNT… I know how much effort you have put into trying to save your M.

If you are interested please read Foglight’s thread. He is a BH and in the process of getting a divorce. I think he can benefit from your help and support.

Prayers and blessings,
Suzet

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 372
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Thanks Suzet. I will read the tread and see if I can help. I guess I will try and keep my advice to those trying to deal with the emotional fallout of divorce, since I am definitely not a model of success for recovery. In Joel Osteen's book, he said that the best way to heal oneself, is to find a way to be a blessing to others. I thought that kind of epitomized this site and the wonderful folks on it. Its kind of funny, I have been thinking about this site and my future, and I think I see myself hanging around here for the foreseeable future and trying to help anyway I can.

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Update....just received an email from my atty that she and her atty have asked for a reset to 10/25. My atty is requesting a settlement conference. STBXWW had mentioned to me in an email, after picking things up at the house for her new apt., that she still had some things she needed but couldnt do it till the end of the month when she would have time off from work again. I am guessing that she couldnt get off work. Who knows though. Gave up trying to figure this out a long time ago. Ugghhhh!

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This weekend was interesting. We hosted a concert here at the ballpark. A mutual friend of STBXWW and I, is dating a girl that wanted to see the concert. So, he asked if I could get tickets, which I was able to do. Saturday afternoon he came by my house to get the tickets and we talked. He has always been firmly in my corner in this ordeal, and as he is a Christian, we consider each other brothers in Christ.
He had taken a trip out to CA to see a mutual friend of all of ours and her husband. STBXWW had gone along. This took place in the latter part of August. While there STBXWW told everyone that her A partner had told her that he needed space as he needed to devote attention to his kids. Effectively pulling back from the relationship. STBXWW wasnt smart enough to realize that this is, as we all know, fog talk for "I am now porking someone else and I dont want you interfering with my ability to do that." So, it seems that now the butterflies have landed in the A and it is likely gasping for air. I cant say for sure how it will turn out, but at this point I will not allow myself to care. This might explain though why, when STBXWW and I talked about her getting the things out of the house that we have agreed to, the conversation was civil. I hadnt mentioned it before, because I thought it might be my imagination, but during this conversation, her voice seemed like it was pre-A days. I dont know why, but I sensed that she was thinking that she had made a big mistake. Given the circumstances though, I thought it was inappropriate to have any talk with her outside of the business at hand and kept to that.
Another interesting thing, was that the husband of the girl they were visiting in CA, told STBXWW that in his opinion, she was "either the most cold hearted bi+@h in the world, or that she had mental issues that needed professional attention. Our mutual friend said that when he dropped that bomb on her, she just stared blankly and had absolutely nothing to say.
Anyway, I am still preparing for the D to be final. STBXWW has moved the final hearing from 10/17 to 10/25. This is the first time she has changed the date forward. This is one messed up human being. I pity her.


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