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In the recent movie Hitch, Will Smith's character states "80 percent of women judge the potential of a relationship by the first kiss". I've also heard the same thing from various women even before the movie came out.
Ok women... this question is for you....
How much stock do you put into a first kiss?
~Big Guy
BigGuy1965a118 @ MatchDotCom Currently a RENTER. Still working on my TAKER. Looking for the one who'll hold my hand at 85.
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Well, it can be a fast way OUT.
If the "first kiss" chemistry is bad....lets just say its not going to lead much further.
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Very true Lexxxy. I know my current BF have similar kissing styles and that is great.
It was a marriage that never really started. H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03. My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9 *Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*
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I'd rather reply to - "the first serious kiss"....
It will make or break the future of the R....If there are no sparks IMHO there won't be any sparks in the future either...I'd move on..rather than hope it would get better...
I just spent 13 years hoping it would get better and it never did..
Lesson Learned......
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I'm not in the 80%.
I definitely won't judge the relationship on it. There's much more important things.
I won't even judge the rest of the kissing or other physical relationship on it. If the first one's bad, sometimes the second or third kiss is MUCH better. Maybe just nerves, or getting used to each other gets in the way the first time. If the first one's GREAT, it still doesn't mean anything about the relationship, or anything else physical or sexual.
The only terrible First Kiss I had... we decided not to see each other anyway. But my decision had nothing to do with the kiss.
Don't get me wrong. I love kissing! Good kisses are great! Even average kisses are better than none! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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If you judge the potential for a relationship from a first kiss, then you are in big trouble! I mean, we men have kissed a lot of women and we know each likes something a little different. No two women are the same. Please tell me, however am I going to know what really rings your bell until I try? What if I don't get it right the first time? I'm history? Am I also supposed to make perfect love to you on the very first try? If so, what is there to work toward?
I can understand that you may conclude after some experience that the guy's a dud and and never going to be capable of meeting your needs in this area, but snap judgements almost always get us into trouble. Just remember, that great first kisser may be the worlds worst lover/husband/father (choose one). His first kiss tells you nothing about him.
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I dunno...I used to believe the first kiss was a sign of good or bad chemistry. Now I don't believe so. Anyone I have ever kissed and the kiss made me weak in the knees and see fireworks..the relationship never worked out.
But kissing to me is the best foreplay there is and I think we would all like the kisses to be like they are in the movies...
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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First kisses are of medium importance. I'm talking about the long french kind. If a man pays attention to me, he readily adjusts his kissing style as the kiss goes along. People that don't adjust or don't pay attention to their partner's subtle body hints, are unlikely to pay attention in other areas.
Divorced. 2 Girls Remarried 10/11/08 Widowed 11/5/08 Remarrying 12/17/15
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I wouldn't count the guy out the first time.
I would think nerves could mess with it and may make things awkward, for me as well as him.
But, my hope would be that it would get better and better!!
K!
Divorced 12/17/2003
Formerly KEB1205 Reg 9/02
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Better is always good...but then again so is bigger <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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Precisely, Karona. Grown men pretty much know when something we are doing isn't quite making it for her unless she'd faking it. Ladies, never, ever fake it. If he's the kind of guy you may have a future with, he will want to please you and kiss you exactly the way you want to be kissed at that moment. My experience with women is that they like a variety of kisses during different activities. Certainly, she's not going to want a deep, passionate kiss in a restaurant (I would hope not anyway). Not only that, just as with other aspects of making love, women want to be kissed differently at different points during the act.
There's no way we can get this right the first time. The point is that we attempt in earnest to learn YOU, not just re-inact some trite, Hollywood or romance novel cover version of a kiss.
I guess some women here would blow me off on a first kiss. I only give women I date a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. I'm not going to take her in my arms and kiss her passionately of lovingly until I feel love for her - and I would never fake that.
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I guess some women here would blow me off on a first kiss. I only give women I date a kiss on the cheek or a peck on the lips. I'm not going to take her in my arms and kiss her passionately of lovingly until I feel love for her - and I would never fake that. If I was treated this way, I would be impressed! First of all, I don't want a guy to try to kiss me right away, but when he did, I would appreciate what you're describing here. K!
Divorced 12/17/2003
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CHeck - I feel like I should defend my original answer here..My answer was based on the first passionate kiss - not the first goodnite peck on the check - friendly kiss...you can't expect much from that..Hey, we kiss our friends hello and good-bye with that type.. My experience with women is that they like a variety of kisses during different activities. Absolutely true..So when you want this person to realize you are attracted to them - you need to kiss them with that enthusiasiam..I'm hot for you and this kiss is just the beginning... Alluring Anyone I have ever kissed and the kiss made me weak in the knees and see fireworks..the relationship never worked out. Yep - there's truth in that too..It depends on the type of R you are looking for at the time. If my memory serves me well - the guys that kissed the best and the most passionately WERE TROUBLE..Fun but trouble Karona I would think nerves could mess with it and may make things awkward, for me as well as him. IMHO, I wasn't nervous when the attraction was there - only when it wasn't..But we are all different and maybe some people are so afraid of doing something wrong they don't act in their typical way. But - we all have different things we like and dislike and IMHO that first kiss keeps you wanting more and wanting to run..But I guess I was always a "sparks chaser"...No wonder I've been married a few times now.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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the guys that kissed the best and the most passionately WERE TROUBLE..Fun but trouble Oh how true!!!!!!!!
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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You know...I just thought of this because of this post -- but I never really liked how my x-husband kissed. LOL. And I married him in spite of that.
So I guess kissing is not a deal-breaker to me.
My new boyfriend -- wow -- one of the best kissers ever. And he is just a super person. Total nice guy (not a bad boy whatsoever!)
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"judge the potential of a relationship" by the first kiss? Probably not.
It is possible for a guy to behave in ways in that first kiss or attempt that would make me decide "nope, not interested". But that's not terribly likely.
I do know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't maintain long-term enthusiasm over having sex with a rotten kisser, so if he's not showing much hope in the kissing department after a number of attempts, it is a big warning sign regarding potential for a long-term future.
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I do know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't maintain long-term enthusiasm over having sex with a rotten kisser, so if he's not showing much hope in the kissing department after a number of attempts, it is a big warning sign regarding potential for a long-term future. Interesting... Guys, do you have the same qualifications for women? If the lady isn't a good kisser, do you break off the relationship? This happened to me once in my dating history when she was a really bad kisser. I talked to her about it (diplomatically) and believe it or not, she made a marked improvement.
~Big Guy
BigGuy1965a118 @ MatchDotCom Currently a RENTER. Still working on my TAKER. Looking for the one who'll hold my hand at 85.
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I talked to her about it (diplomatically) How did you start that conversation up???? only thing that defines a bad kiss for me is....excessive slobber. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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How did you start that conversation up???? I don't remember exactly... either I asked her if she was apprehensive or we were discussing what we were looking for in a partner and I mentioned something about it. Basically, she froze up and it was like kissing a dead fish (not that I've ever kissed a dead fish before... well... ok... maybe once... but we don't talk about that...). I told her I wanted someone a little more passionate. It was interesting (and fun) when she tried to prove me wrong.
~Big Guy
BigGuy1965a118 @ MatchDotCom Currently a RENTER. Still working on my TAKER. Looking for the one who'll hold my hand at 85.
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I just can't imagine TELLING or HINTING to someone that they suck at kissing...LOL
By the way....why do you still have that email address on there if it doesn't work?? LOL
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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