HOW DO YOU WOO HER BACK?
MY FIANCE HAS LEFT ME IVE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET HER BACK AND NOTHING WORKS. I HAVE POSTED ON HERE BEFORE EXPLAINING WHAT HAPPENED. TO KEEP ALONG STORY SHORT THREE WEEKS AGO THE ONE I LOVE SO DEERLY WENT TO HER MOTHERS HOUSE FOR A PICNIC. TWO WEEKS LATER SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME AND ISNT IN LOVE WITH ME ANYMORE. I PANICED AND DROVE UP THERE AND STARTED BEGGING FOR HER TO COME BACK. I WAS SO STUPID. NOT NOTHING I SAY WILL HELP. WHAT DO I DO? IS IT REALLY OVER. HOW DO I GET HER TO COME BACK?
JML

ANYBODY?

Hi Mike, CALM YOURSELF! & (knock off the caps - it's harder on eye & looks like your shouting - yeah you probably feel like screaming - listen up).

Okay, make yourself a cup of tea or something, or go for a walk in the air, you & the dog anything, get your anxiety pounded onto to the pavement for a 20 minutes do something immediately to lower your stress levels - so YOU CAN LISTEN to your fiance AS A FRIEND (not a desperate man who appears NEEDY).

Sorry Mike that must have felt like a slap. It is.

The fact you have 2 small children aged 1 & 2, has made me wonder if she has felt trapped, even depressed & trying to look for some light at the end of her tunnel, looking for an escape to happiness from her perspective? What do you think?

You ask how to Woo her back.

Nope roses won't do it. Do by all means give them they are my favourites too (btw I'm a woman) & give me great joy to recieve.

Currently your Finace is in PANIC mode herself.

She's messed up, you've found out, & she has given you the standard ILYBNILWY (I love you but not in love with you) line. It's straight from the how to leave your partner while having an affair on the side hand book.

Her behaviour is NOT about you or any other man. It is ALL about HER.

She is most likely very frightened, racked with conflicting emotions, angry, happy, sad.

You want to woo her. BE HER FRIEND.

Stop asking her to do XYZ.

Talk with her as a guy who was genuinely interested in HELPING HER (I know that suck's huh?) would.

Allow her see you are capable (& willing) of CARING for her, that you always will protect her & be here for her.

Really you must whenever you communicate with her, do so in a way that when she leaves your company she feels good about being with you. Which may help her question herself.

I am not talking baloney, shallow sh1t.

You guys have 2 small one's futures to consider.

Can you help envisage their future with parents they would emulate.

Mike have you read up on plan A? Do it & implement it NOW!

When you feel the anxious rush rising, or the urge to say something that would cause further distancing STOP YOURSELF.

Deep breathes bud.

Now get into the ring.

& Do it WELL!

best wishes
Ktulu

Psssst depending on your history, wooing could easily be mistaken for pressure.

Thread softly.

Listen to WHAT she wants.

Gently with a kind heart proceed.

Try this: I am trying to apply to my situation too....good luck
(((hugs))))




The first thing to do is keep your cool and act as unfazed by this as you can. Appear to be inwardly peaceful that, if this is the end, well, then this is the end. Act stoic.

This is important at this moment because one of the reason people leave a relationship is that they have a perception that the other person is too dependent on them and not worthy of their highest respect. You want to begin to turn that perception around as soon as possible, and your first opportunity is by the reaction they observe when they give you the message that they're leaving you.

Second, trust me on this, have an inward assurance that as long as you don't overreact too much and go crazy, he's going to at least keep in contact with you and give you further opportunities to make him start missing you more and more.

Third, instead of spending the time apart from him pining, spend it plotting. Plot your strategy (using the Love Tactics System, of course) and start making changes in your past practices that you now realize were damaging to the relationship.

Fourth, each contact you have try to implement one or two of the Love Tactics, and avoid doing anything further damaging to the relationship between the two of you. Don't press for her to come back, and certainly don't TALK about the personal changes you are making. That backfires, if you try to convince him with words.

Simply show by your actions that you are a new person, and one day you will notice her coming back with a new enthusiasm about courting you all over again. Only this time don't repeat the mistakes of your former life.

see the bad thing is ive already begged and pleaded and cried and talkted about the future and just about everything you not suppose to do. what do you do after that?

we also talked tonight, and she wants to know what stuff she can have for her new place. when she gets one. i thought about sending her roses(the ones we were going to have at our wedding) but im now having second thoughts. where do i find these love tactics. and plan A. she has also talked about moving back to oregon where we used to live( she still doesnt want to be with me then though. i will do my best tomorrow if i talk to her. thank you all.
maybe one of you guys could call her and talk some sense into her. jk
jml

"see the bad thing is ive already begged and pleaded and cried and talkted about the future and just about everything you not suppose to do. what do you do after that?"

You stand up brush yourself clean and
RESOLVE TO IMPROVE YOURSELF!

I hope your eating resonbly well & getting some sleep.

What you are about to embark on takes masses of emotional strength, to build yourself you need sleep & nutrition.

Plan A is cover name for 'ending an affair' which in the process is also about your own self improvement.

It in the header of this page up there in the read tabs.

You've read the basic concepts.

Read 'em again, & refer to them often.

Read the articles section - all of it.

The Q&A tab.

A lot to digest.

It is worth it.

Remember knowledge is useless unless you actually put it into action.

Read, learn, resolve, plan THEN DO IT.

Good luck
Ktulu

Your fiance's been diagnosed with a severe case of cranial rectal retention, you are the qualified surgeon for the job, as Dad of your kids.

You've got to do the prep work - read the manual above.

How you proceed towards your recovery is your choice.

ktlu could you call me and explain these things to me over the phone? if so

or someone with experience in this i could really use the help.
thanks

Mike I don't do personal calls, I am annonymous I shall remain so.

I would advise you to REMOVE your number immediately.


Most of the stuff you require is in the areas you were directed to read!!!!

Read it.

If you really can't understand the language used in the articles I have to say English is my first language.

If it is that you need someone to read to you, I think some of this information is also available on audio tapes & c.d.s.

If you want to improve YOU must DO THIS FOR YOURSELF.

Get reading.

Best wishes Ktulu