Ok...where do I start?
The details of my marriage and my husbands affair are really lengthy and may be kind of hard to explain or even understand.
I have been married to my husband for 5 years. We have been together for 8. We have one small child.

For the first three years of our relationship things were absolutely wonderful. I cannot say that any man could have been better to me or for me. He was a knight in shining armor.

After we married, things began to crumble. I found out through one of his friends that he had told them the night before we got married that he wasn't sure he wanted to do this. He was having second thoughts about our relationship.

This has always been a problem it seems. He will do things because he thinks that is what I want and then later resent me for these things instead of talking to me and telling me his feelings. I do not think this is my fault because I am not a mind reader. I cannot presume to know how he feels about things unless he tells me.

So...the marriage begins to crumble. We are both working extremely hard. I was working 70+ hours a week and he was working approx. 50 +. There was really little time for togetherness, but I always made the effort to be off from work when he was so that we would have the time together. He hated his job. He wanted to quit. Now in this instance, he did tell me how he felt, but.....and this is a big but.....he wanted to quit his job and more or less let me support him. I didn't mind him quitting his job...not really, but I wanted him to have another. I saw no effort of his looking so I told him that he needed to keep the job he had until he found another. (I must note, that I hated my job as well. It was extremely stressful and when I told my husband about my stresses, he would give me his version of how I could make it better. He never once told me to quit my job)

Well....to go on with the story....my husband found a way to quit his job and make it my fault. He developed an attraction for a co-worker and told me about it. Of course I was upset, but I trusted my husband so completely that I didn't give it much weight. But not long after his revealing his feelings for her, he started telling me that he didn't feel the same about me anymore. I didn't listen to him or understand him...I didn't feel him.
Soon, due to the stress he was under....and his wanting to spare my feelings over his attraction to this other woman, he quit his job....leaving me to keep going in a job that I hated and was very stressful to my health and to pay all the bills. I mean all the bills...his credit cards, mine, the house payment, his brand new truck payment, etc....

He then started telling me he wanted a divorce. That we just were not good for each other.....all the same stuff as above with divorce added. This was too much for me....my job was a nightmare...they had threatened to fire me. My husband was telling me all this stuff....and now there was another woman that was better than me, besides the former co worker....I was up to my ears in emotional turmoil and one night I just said what the ******....and swallowed a handful of pills.

He took me to the hospital and left me. He left me at the hospital and never came to see me. He left me period. When I was released from the hospital all of his things were gone and all of his friends and family thought I was a nut case. They didn't know any of the problems that we were having.

We were separated for three months. I did lose my job of course. I had found another...not much better but it paid the bills. He found a job working out of town during the week...he still works there now.

Enter the affair.

Before we separated, We purchased a computer. Looking back, I have to say that a computer was the stupidist thing we ever could have bought. It is what started the affair. My husband had begun going into chat rooms and going online to places like AdultFriendfinders....he was looking for something....not sure what....

He met several women online and since my husband is attractive and quite charismatic, he soon had them eating out of his hand. This irritated me to no end, but for the most part it was all just talk...until he met this one woman...she was different....she started calling him. He worked out of town, so I was not aware of this fact for a while and I had even befriended her to some degree not knowing that she was having pillow talk with my husband behind my back.

I got pregnant. Not on purpose, but you know sometimes things happen.

I found out about their talks and threw a fit...this did absolutely no good for me...in fact I think it made it worse. I confronted her and she said, that they were just friends....and my husband said that he enjoyed talking to her. She is also married and has children, but lives in another state.

Well, to make a long story short (like it isn't long already) three years have gone by since their meeting. They now profess to be "in love" with one another. She is still married as are my husband and I, but they just decided to meet face to face...something that I have put blocks up to avoid time and time again...but they did it....and they slept together.

Now, you may ask, what about her husband? He knows, sort of I think. I have talked to him. He told me that they were just friends....I told him other wise but also told him that if he was happy, then I would allow him to remain ignorant of all that I knew...my husband had told me everything....and what he didn't tell me I found out through his emails and IM conversations. I knew full well what was going on. My husband didn't tell me that they had actually had sex...she did. I think to sort of rub it in my face.

I have had three years of this and I am probably a more emotionally capable of handling this because I saw it coming and was not hit with it between the eyes as some are....I did get extremely upset and I cried a lot, but now I am just wondering if my marriage is at all worth saving. If my husband will ever see our relationship as anything more than a trap.

There is much more to the story....but this post is so long already...if you have questions to give me advice please ask and I will tell all in order to become me again...

also....hehehe....his family knows this time....I told and revealed....his mother is in total support of me....she loves her son, but does not approve of what he is doing....especially since my husband's father did the same thing to her....only he left her with four children to raise and skipped....she is extremely emotional about what her son is doing....

Any advice or comments are welcomed ....thank you

Evermore

Forevermore, what "advice or comments" would you prefer?

There are two basic directions that it could take.

1. Try to "win him back ala the MB method of improving yourself through Plan A, and if that doesn't give him reason enough to end his affair and recommit to you, then move to plan B (a semi-divorce without the formality).

2. God directly to divorce. No more allowing him to "cakewalk" and keep you on the string to meet any of his nees or to just "be there." Marriage is an exclusive arrangement made by CHOICE. "Reservations" only apply before the marriage ceremony. After the ceremony, "in for a penny, in for a pound" as the saying goes.

Suffice it to say, your husband appears to be very weak-willed and will not likely to "come out of his easily justified fog" on his own. A "Crisis" will need to be precipitated before there will be any movement. But there is still no guarantee of a recovered and reconciled marriage. The events you've described so far would indicate that your marriage is already over and you may be better served with letting him have his chosen "fate" and you going on to protect you and you child from his "tolerance" of blatant sin being "justified" simply because he "feels like it."

God bless.