What's the most miles/minutes/hours away from someone that you would consider having a relationship with?? AND for how long would you let that continue before deciding one should move closer to the other??

Awww.... C'mon, greeneyez, there's got to be more to the story... Spill some dirt....

I know of quite a few people, some long time members of these boards in LDR's. Currently my wife and I live 1,500 miles apart and ain't looking to close that gap till late this year. At times it's a tremendous asset to our relationship and at times it totally sucks. One thing it has forced us to do is COMMUNICATE at levels I had only read about or dreamed about.

As for how long, I can't answer that. With kids, schooling, careers, etc... to think about it makes that a tough call.

Yeah... whatsup? The last dating thread you started was about your neighbor? How many miles away is he? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

no dirt...YET **insert angel emoticon here**

LH...1500 miles?? HOLY CRAP for lack of a better comeback...LOL How did you decide to marry before that gap was closed? What tremendous trust you two must have...I'm in awe!!!

Faith... I am dating one who is 58 miles away and still on the bench about the former neighbor...timing isn't right yet. and he's about 2 miles away...LOL

Depends on your resources I think.

If you can afford flights and travel and long distance bills, then your options are way more open. Plus you can't plan on spending much actual time in each other's company. You'd better love talking on the phone or e-mails!

If we're talking meeting for dates in the evenings then a couple hour commute is a killer!

Green Eyes,

BF and I have been together for a year now. We live about 90 minutes from each other. In a way it was good for us to live so far away from each other, if forced us to take our relationship at a slower pace. We only saw each other when my kids are at their Dad's. Two weekends a month and lunch meetings here and there. It worked for us, I'm busy with kids and school and he has his own business to run.

Our relationship have definitely moved to another level, and I'm the one who is willing to move closer. My kids go to school near my EX's, and my school is also there. Right now I live about an hour away from school, so the decision was an easy one for me.

BF and I also see more of each other now that I finally introduced him to the children. (That was about a month ago.) So the distance is starting to get old for us, plus gas price is so high now. Although he doesn't seem to mind paying for the higher gas price, he's the one who drives in to see me most of the time.

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What's the most miles/minutes/hours away from someone that you would consider having a relationship with?? AND for how long would you let that continue before deciding one should move closer to the other??

Let's see....

How about 6500 miles and it took 7 hours to get there by plane.

It took 2 years to get him here.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

OK Aeri, where did he live before? And where did you find him (he looks so sweet).
I like to look at the wedding photos here on the board, I just want to see more than just his family. Where are more of the two of you together?

I took one look into her alluring green eyes and I was hooked... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />... But seriously, there were a lot of factors that went into the equasion and it boiled down to wanting a summer wedding by a lake. Kind of hard to have that in Kansas in December.


Interesting!!!! I never really looked at it that way. Yes, I would say we have tremendous trust. We each make decisions independently as if we were together if that's what you're implying. Neither of us are partiers, drinkers, and don't do the bar scene. We both have active lives.

Then again, I think we'd both admit that it's trying at times. On a day when the only thing you want to do is go home and fall into your lovers arms, we have to fall into a phone. It's definately going to make for an extended "honeymoon" phase of the marriage....... Come December, I may hybernate for the winter... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The distance correlates to the financial and time resources of the individuals involved. If you live 1500 miles apart, air travel is the only viable means of getting together. So you have to have not only the time to invest, but quite a bit of cash as well.

LDRs can work, though like other non-traditional relationships, are definitely not for everyone. I have had two in my life. In one case she lived about 850 miles away, but we had the advantage of travelling together to various places. Ultimately, we decided that the distance was too great and the opportunities for having a really good relationship too few. The second was with my ex. We lived in cities about 500 miles apart. We decided that one of us had to move closer when we decided that we wanted a long-term committed relationship.

I know a guy whose GF lives in Hong Kong. They see each other two to three times per year for about 10 days at a time. They believe they have a "good" relationship. I can't see how.

I guess what I find interesting about that is most people would have made the move first THEN the wedding...I can't say I've ever heard of the wedding first and moving last. Which led me to the trust issue. What a fabulous thing to have. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


Yes that's what I meant.

How long did you date before hand? Where did you meet? Is she moving to you? Where does she live now? How do the kids feel about the move?

Am I up to 20 questions yet? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I would consider dating someone an hour and a half away. A commitment to move wouldn't happen until we were married.

Big likes his women close...lol... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I tried the long distance thing and ultimately decided that it wasn't for me. I developed a relationship with a woman in Pentington, British Columbia, which is, I don't know, 1,200 miles from me.

LDRs are very hard to maintain (in addition to being expensive). Two months I had phone bills over $700. You always seem to be living for those few days you are able to spend together.

I also agree with something that Check has stated before, and that is, it is very difficult to really get to know someone over a long distance. Yes, it forces you to talk when otherwise you may not be talking. But, I don't think you really get to know the person until you've spent a significant amount of time together. There are tons of nonverbal cues that you just miss out on when you are emailing, IMing, or talking on the telephone.

So... why do I have my profile in my signature if I'm not trying to pick up MB women? Actually, it's because I like to see other people's profiles/pictures and by putting mine out there, I think I have more opportunity to see others.

I am currently in a LDR. We live about 110 miles apart which takes about 1.75 hours to drive on a good day. I dread winter because Iowa roads can be very treacherous, and that will make it more difficult. I didn't plan to look outside about a 30 mile radius, but things don't always work as one thinks they will. We met up online, we liked each other enough to give it a try, and the rest is history. Tomorrow will be 3 months since we first started communicating.

Yes, gas prices are a killer right now, and we see each other each weekend (on his "kid" weekends, I go his way, on non-kid weekends he comes my way), and we usually see each other one night during the week. The miles are really adding up on our cars, and paying so much in gas does limit the other things we can do together like dining out or going to movies and stuff. We do a lot of movie renting and just snacking on chips and salsa at home.

I don't know how long we can do it, and even if things do continue going well, there are things in our lives that would prevent either of us from moving for at least a year or more likely, two.

But on the plus side, as others mentioned, it does force a couple to communicate if they want the relationship to grow. There are nights when we really struggle for conversation, if we're tired or had a long day. Those would be the days where if we were both in town, we'd probably just sit and veg in front of the tv together. But we can't. But there are other nights that we've had great conversations about some deep stuff or world issues or families, or traditions, or what we want to do in life, etc. that have lasted for hours. Those probably wouldn't have happened had we been together in person.

So I do think a LDR can be done for a while. It's just that I don't think they can go on forever. Something/someone has to give eventually.

LL

My relationship with my H started out as a LDR. I lived in Texas and he lived in California. Then a couple of months later, I moved farther away to Florida. About eight months after we met, my H ended up moving all the way across the country to be with me. That was almost seven years ago.

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OK Aeri, where did he live before? And where did you find him (he looks so sweet).

He lived in Holland and I was in Canada...believe it or not, I "found" him online. I wasn't actively looking for a relationship, either--it grew out of a close friendship...and he's the sweetest person, it's true!

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I like to look at the wedding photos here on the board, I just want to see more than just his family. Where are more of the two of you together?

Hmm...on the website that I have in my signature, there should be a photo of his family, my family and two us us together....

I can't add more photos to that site---I'm already getting in trouble because the bandwidth allowance has been exceeded many, many times...