Almost a year ago I noticed my husband not wanting to spend much time with me. He now spends more time with his guy friends than me. I get upset that after work he goes to his friends house for an hour or so before coming home. I have caught him in several lies. Not just to me but to others. He now likes to stay up late and work outside and not spend time with me or our teenage son. As far as I no, no affairs on his side, none on mine. Are we just drifting apart or do I demand to much of his time and should let him do his thing. I am a big family person and his family (mom and dad) never see him or call. I talk to my parents all the time. Is this something that is in my head or should I be suspecious of other activities? I feel like I am lost. I have talked to my husband and he says he will try harder to "please my family needs" but it is hard for him. Is giving him space the right thing to do after 12 years? He says he doesn't want his space but he likes to do his thing and that does not happen to be my thing. I am lost, please help!

Not spending time at home and lies are not a good sign. It is possible he is cheating though I hope he is not. The lying is what is so troublesome. If he isn't cheating and is where he says he is, then why is he lying?

The best way to know if your spouse is cheating is to trust your gut. I kept trying to talk my "gut", my suspicions, out of it. Not my H, he's going through mid-life crisis, blah, blah, blah. If you are becoming suspicious after 12 years of marriage, then that is coming from somewhere. Trust it!

Once I could deny no longer the lies, I did about 2 minutes worth of checking on the internet (cell phone bill) and it was all there. Getting evidence of an A or not isn't that hard. It won't hurt to snoop and if he is clean and finds out you were snooping then honestly share with him how you feel he is cheating because of how distant you are. That might open up for good conversation.

Consider MC now too, regardless of what you find. If there is no A, there is an issue in your marriage and a good MC can help you out.

Good luck
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There is not a lot of traffic on this board these days. I recommend that you post on the Emotional Needs board or, if you feel he may be cheating, the General Questions II board. You will hear from more people on either of those boards.