Hi everybody this is my fisrt post.

Ok here we go!!
I have been married for almost 7 years. When we were about 2 years into our marriage we had bad problems and I often blamed my husband for eveything, nagged you name it. I prayed that God will do something with him. Well was I in for a big surprise when God gave me a kick in the pants and said "You are the one that needs to change" I was living in fear which was causing me to be controling and angry. After a lot of prayer, repentance, asking my husband for forgiveness and letting God having His way in me and letting him change my husband when he found it appropaite our marriage just changed in an amazing way. Or so I thought!
I learned to shut up and listen, to not say anyhting out of anger and not to be my husband's Holly Spirit. Again to me our marriage was just awesome. We have moved several times since them and again felt as if we had a great communication and relationship. I always caleed my husband my best friend.
Well after our last move I found out that my husband had been looking at porn. We were just sitting on the couch after I had read a post on a forum from a lday that had found her husband look at porn and all the sudden I felt the need to ask my husband if her ever had done such thing. You have to understand I never, ever would think my husband would do that. I always saw him as somebody with such integrity. Boy was I wrong!! He said yes that he had so I kept on asking after the initial shock. He started at age 12 and it continue on an off to this point. He don't not look daily or weekly (is not cronic but still bad) He told me to ask him whatever I wanted to know so I did. I ask if he had an affair he said "no". I asked if he likes that stuff more than me he said "no". To this point is hard for me to understand why people do such thing. Anyway I told him that from now on I would ask him and hold him accountable and he said that he had no problem with that. Fine!!
He has a new job now we moved to a new state. I have noticed him different. This job provides a lot of extra activities for free (A lot of after work outins paid for by vendors and such) well he works with a lot of single people, people with adult children and people that have more money to waste than us. I feel as he wants to belong and keep up and do the same things this people do.
At some point he went to out after work (he always call me to ask if he can go) I don't want to be selfish and I want HIm to pray and examone himself before he makes this choices. We have children, I stay at home and we are expecting another child. He decided to go knowing that he was going to be out of town for the rest of the week. That hust my feelings. The following week I had been having a bad week with the kids and just all around and I had told him so. Well he calls me to let me know that he is going o another outing and I lost it!! I felt that he was being selfish to what he said "I eaither go today or I'm going out Friday" I was like "What???" Where did my best Friend husband go????
When he got home that night he apologized for not putting me and the kids first and such. I didn't say much becasue I was angry and didn't want to say anything hurtful out of anger.
The next day we sat down to talk about it. I told him how I felt especially him trying to keep up with people at work and trying to be like them. He said that he was having a personality crisis and that he just wants to know where he belongs (he wants to fit in). We kept on talking about stuff about how I feel as if is hard for him to tell people at work "NO I can't go" as is if a shame but is easy for him to pick up the phone that is going out and I have to understand. Many times he has gone out and I have been ok with it I think he deserves to have fun but I think I also deserve to have him home to spend time with us. He is often gone over 12 hours a day.
Anyway! In the conversation he mention that he don't feel like can talk to me. That he does not feel confortable talking to me. What???? How that happened?? Remember I thought we had a great marriage and we were best friends. I have no idea whare the HECK this is coming from.
I don't know what to do! I can't stop thinking stuff! I feel like I don't know my husband anymore. I don't know what he is thinking or feeling becasue he don't feel confortable talking to me.
I ask what is ot that I have done to make him feel that way and he said "Nothing" that is is something he has to work on.
What do I do?? Is he talking to somebody else??? I feel as if I'm loosing my husband.

Just wanted to add that since our last move we have not been able to find a church. We were in a church and we were hurt there and I know that my husband was very hurt and feeling inadequate. There is a lot going on here. He does not read his Bible anymore we were have not been to church in several months. I know that is not helping either.
If you still with me I could use some advice, prayer, help, something!!!
I cry almost everyday over this becasue I feel lost, I feel like I'm loosing my husband, like I don't know him.
I have no time to go over and fix my errors. Sorry!
Thanks

My H and I belonged to a church for about 12 years.
Unfortunately alot of damage was done to us there and we left.
We were very involved in the church, my husband was a very Godly man, and I too thought we had a very happy family.
Yes, we had our issues, but I never thought that we would be on the brink of divorce.
We moved 3000 miles away about 5 years ago,and never really got involved in a church again.
We went, but never joined.
# years ago, my husband lost his dad,a nd suddenly became a different person.
Mid Life Crisis set in.
The changes were very subtle, but gradually became more noticable.
Hanging out with people at work, started looking at porn, drinking, no more faith in God, the list goes on.
Last December he decided that he wanted to be his own person.
He said that I had made him miserable for 20 years, that he never really loved me, and wanted a divorce.
That he was never my best friend, that he felt trapped and that I was a weight around his neck.
After the initial shock, I went to therapy to work on me.
I have learned alot about myself and about MLC over the past 10 months.
Most of what he says is called babble.
It isn't all true.
Did I make him miserable for 20 years? NO!
BUT he is in a place right now that he has to rewrite our history in order to justify his actions.
I have been on my face in prayer daily, thankfully he has not filed any papers yet.
I am seeing little changes in him, but it is a slow process.
I do not know what Gods plan is for my life, I just trust that God will do something to save my marriage.
There is a great website www.midlife.com which is very informative.
I am not saying that your husband is having a MLC but I would look into it.