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I don't know what a Big 12 is. sigh... Melody Lane: I saw want to make a "naughty" comment here....but in the spirit of this Christian beliefs founder of this site, and the probably very offensive nature of the comment...I will abstain....... Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> bwahahahahaaaaa! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am a Penn State fan (lifetime....it is in my blood), and will be rooting against the hated Ohio State Buckeyes on Saturday night while I enjoy a few cool ones.....This is a major game for the rebuilding of the greatest and most well respected program and coach in the nation....This game is big. I would have given alot to go to the game, but "circumstances" didn't allow for that. My BIL is huge Penn State fan, he & my sister just bought a cabin 15 minutes away from campus so they could have a place to stay on game nights. They had 2 cats "Joepa" & "Turno"...I'm not sure if they are going to the game this weekend.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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Is it ok with Mel Lane( )....LOL to talk about this on your thread when it does not per se relate to Marriage Building........?
I am a Penn State fan (lifetime....it is in my blood), and will be rooting against the hated Ohio State Buckeyes on Saturday night while I enjoy a few cool ones.....This is a major game for the rebuilding of the greatest and most well respected program and coach in the nation....This game is big. I would have given alot to go to the game, but "circumstances" didn't allow for that.
The bulldogs? That seems like a pretty fun place to watch a college football game...some rowdy die hard fans.
Lem
P.S. Sorry for the intrusion on the Plan B strategies. Honestly at this point, you know what to do on the PLan B thing, Ms Lane has directed you in all of the other issues....I don't have anything constructive to add, so I threw this out there....maybe it will take your mind off things for a few seconds. Lem, A slight diversion is just fine!! OOOOOOOO! Penn State!!! Good Luck to you guys. Ohio State was off last week, so they will be rested. But maybe not motivated....My neighbor is a Penn State Fan too. My game is an afternoon one --- Playing Tennessee, promises to be a nerve-racker. Georgia is undefeated right now! Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Sorry, Kim! I am getting jaundiced about football. I work with all guys and all day it is football, football, football.....blah, blah, blah. They have even hung a football scoreboard thingie on the wall outside my office at work! This is their gathering place. Sounds like a fun place to work!!! So it sounds like the boys like to have a bit of fun with you and the football thing, huh? Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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THEY TORMENT ME!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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SORRY!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
On aother note, was thinking of calling WH's mom tomorrow & bringing her up to date on the sitch. I haven't spoken to her since I told her about the A.
I want to make sure she knows that I still want to work on the M and still love her son.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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My WH left for a short time last March. I packed his bags, got up with him in the morning, walked him to the door, hugged him I told him that I hoped he would use this time apart to think about what he really wanted and to remember that he had a family who loved him. I kissed him on the cheek and told him I hoped he could find what he was looking for....He wanted to come home the next day. I let him come home after just a week of saying and doing the right things. It was too soon. It was uncomfortable but it wasn't enough to REALLY motivate him. You are doing great. Stay strong and DO NOT let him home to soon. He really does need to want it and EARN it. confused, thanks for this compelling and timely post! I love how you handled his leaving and think you make a very important point about letting him back too soon! Kim, confused experienced a very common occurance that can cause you enormouse heartache. And that is letting the WS back too soon and having to endure a false recovery. See, he will be very uncomfortable after he leaves, especially after you deliver the Plan B letter. He will do or say anything to make that discomfort go away...........EXCEPT really give up the OW and commit to the marriage. He will do anything to be able to keep you BOTH. They will lie and make empty promises to make the pain of seperation go away. And your H is very good in the art of wordsmithing and manipulation. You would not believe the tricky, persuasive things a WS will say to get you to break Plan B. So this is something we need to really explore after he leaves. Lest you end up right back in the same boat you are in now trying to get rid of him after a false recovery. Put this in your back pocket and we can discuss it this weekend.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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SORRY!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
On aother note, was thinking of calling WH's mom tomorrow & bringing her up to date on the sitch. I haven't spoken to her since I told her about the A.
I want to make sure she knows that I still want to work on the M and still love her son.
Kim Great idea. What about your own mother? Is she supportive?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. I am just teasing about my coworkers, they are all great guys and very good friends. WE give each other lots of h3ll. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Mel- that was a good post for me to read from Confused. I never realized how good my WH was at manipulation until this A. I know I will need to be super cautious IF he decided he "wants" to come back. I'm not so sure he will care.
I like the thought of making him EARN it.
My mom still doesn't know. I planned on telling my Dad today, called him this morning on my way to work and just couldn't get it out. My sister called me on Tuesday about my Mom. Another whole story in this, but not wanting to go into the whole sitch. My mom locked herself in her room Tuesday and my Dad couldn't get her out. She had an upsetting conversation with my brother about family/Thanksgiving. My mom was so low. She tried to take her own life once. It was about 14 years ago. I am going to leave it to my Dad to let me know when/how much to tell my Mom.
I am very close to my Mom and she has written me many letters over the years. I keep them all. She has always said the right words to make me feel better. If Dad feels like she can handle this, I will share my hurt with her.
Sorry, didn't really mean to get into all of that. She's just on my mind right now....
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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