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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 95
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 95 |
why is it that he seems so boastful and proud to be having an affair?
he comes home at 9PM and does not think anything of it.
i am tired of this but not sure how to handle it since i have known for just 5 weeks.
it is a sickness if you ask me.
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 284
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 284 |
As a recovering couple I think that both me (BS) and my FWW would agree that during the time the A is going on, the WS is not themselves. We both like the abducted by aliens theory. I know this doesn't make you feel any better but when it finally ends and if you decide to reconcile and recover both you and your S will know that the A is unexplainable. There are many reasons why they happen. Dr. H has done a nice job of explaining all this. The addiction to the A fulfills the cheaters for a while. At some point their fantasy must come to an end and they will both realize that an A is an empty promise. It seems to make them feel good at the time, but it is a false sense of feeling just like being high on a drug that will wear off and they will have consequences for many years to come.
Have you exposed and Plan A'd yet? If not, get it done. Disruption of the secrecy of this fantasy is the first step to getting to NC. If you get your WS to NC and set the boundaries, you will have the choice of which direction you want to take the M.
O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, courage to change what should be changed, and wisdom to distinguish the one from the other... Rienhold Niebuhr
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 95
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 95 |
Yes, I have exposed and just did it this past weekend. He says he is glad I did this and it is out in the open. I would feel ashamed if it were me.
Is he kidding himself???????
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 296
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 296 |
I am really a supporter of marriages - especially when there are children involved. It was the primary reason I stayed with my H in the first place. I also loved him very much as I am sure you love your H. Your H is gone right now though. He is not the person coming home to you right now. He is cake-eating and waffling as long as he can because he doesn't want to give up his marriage or his girlfriend. Coming home at 9 p.m. is so blatantly disrespectful towards you and your children. If it were me, he would have to find another place to live if he was continuing this behavior. Just for backround info on my situation - I was preparing to leave my H because I "thought" his affair was NOT over, but it appears that I was wrong. He lied for several months about having an affair, but the evidence suggests that it ended after I found out in November 2003. Had I "known for sure" that it wasn't over, I would not have hesitated to ask him to leave after 5 weeks. Enough is enough! Do you know for sure?
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