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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
How does a WS feel during Plan B?
Was it a relief to be rid of your S or did you miss them?
How long did it take until you were ready to cut contact completely with OP and give your marriage a chance?
When you were finally ready were you remorseful and ready to do everything it would take to recover your M?
Or did you return to the M begrudgingly because other options ran out?
Last edited by losttranslation; 10/06/05 01:01 AM.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
LT, wish I could answer but thought I would bump it for ya
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365 |
Lost,
There was never a moment where I was happy "to be rid" of my H. I missed him terribly.
That being said, it ended up taking a year after D-day before I was really ready to completely cut off C with the OM. We had a false recovery. I came back because I was afraid to lose what I had.
But I am truly remorseful and ready and willing to do whatever it takes to save my M.
Probably not the time span you wanted to hear, but at least it is better than saying it never happened.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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OP
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
Thanks for your reply, cinnymd.
Did it take your husband's filing for divorce to get you to turn around? What are you doing to save your M?
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 365 |
I think it was the point when my H filed for D that I was completely ready. As for what I have been doing to try and save my m: I have been counseling with Jennifer Chalmers from MB and I visit here daily. I have been talking to other people that have been in similar situations to get advice. I have been praying a lot more fervently for God's will and not my own. I have been doing my best to meet my H's EN every chance that I get. I have also tried to be more understanding of where my H is emotionally. In short, all of the words that I said I would do before (which were really empty promises) ... I am now turning them into actions.
Me, the WS, 25
My H, the BS, 25
Married Sept 2003
Served with D papers Aug 2005, but still hoping to make it work
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
--Maya Angelou
Proud of the woman that I have become, not the events that made me become that woman.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748
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OP
Member
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 748 |
cinnymd,
thanks so much for your reply! I think that it is great that you are here and are taking action to help your H and your marriage recover.
Whether or not you are able to save your marriage, you still do have a responsibility to help your H heal from the deep wounds you have inflicted on his soul as best a you can. You have a responsibility to yourself to learn from your mistakes and keep them from repeating themselves. It is a painful, anguishing time for you, but also one of growth. I hope that I can perhaps give you insight from the side of the BS as you have also given me insight to where my WH is at.
Me BS 44
XH 45
M 20 years
D19
D12
DDay 11.29.04
Separated 12.29.04
Plan A 24.02.05
Plan B 10.9.05
Plan D 2.2.06
Divorce 13.6.06
OW - former friend and D12's x-godmother (Skunkypoo)
OWH - philander, XH's former best friend (still shares skunkypoo with XH)
Anger = drinking a rat poison and waiting/wishing the rat would notice you drink it and the rat die from it.
Redhat
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