The major crux of my own recovery was realizing how the A in my life changed me, not just everyone and everything around me. It did change everything, but the real recovery came when I stopped looking at everything else and took a good, hard look at me. Why would my H want to be with me NOW, after the fact? What do I have to bring to our relationship as I am today? It's a question most IC's ask, and it's one that comes out a lot in MC as well. So here's the dig into your collective brains today. What changes have come about for the BETTER in yourself since Dday? I'm not looking to hear about all the weight a BS has lost because of depression or the fact that a WS now spends less time surfing internet singles' sites. What positive changes do you see in yourself?
For me, here's the rundown:
1.I'm more patient. I've learned how to wait for a response from my H in our conversations instead of getting huffy and putting words in his idle mouth.
2.I know where my weaknesses are. I know that when I'm lonely I can't just start opening up to any sweet guy who comes along wanting to rescue me from my self-pity.
3.I know that trust isn't an entitlement. It's earned, and one little boundary breach can obliterate months of work.
4.I realize that I really wouldn't die without a man in my life, so I don't base my entire self-worth on what someone else thinks or feels about me or even how willing or able he is to express his feelings toward me.
5.I've learned that sex within marriage is a wonderful gift, but sex outside of marriage is a deadly weapon. Yes, I've always known it was a sin, but "the wages of sin is death" never meant so much until I realized just how much a BS dies inside in the wake of an A. It just isn't fair to make someone else pay the price for your own pleasure.
6.Having to pick his socks and underwear up off of the floor isn't a big deal anymore! I don't sweat the small stuff anymore like I used to.
7.I'm much more inclined to show emotion.
8.I listen better.
9.I've learned how to truly forgive. I haven't quite figured out the "forget" part yet, but I don't know if that's something humans can do. We're not God, after all.
10.Chocolate pudding is my friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
