Every once in a while I hear in my head something which I liken to God whispering in my ear. This morning as I was getting ready for work a completely out of the blue thought and picture popped into my head which I believe was one of God's whisperings. I don't like to question Him, but do question my interpretation though. The thought and picture was on me giving a brief testimony to our church about my A from years ago. This is along the lines of God's character and how He changes our character if we let Him. It really caught me off guard. My thought is that He feels I have something to share to help others but my DD does not know about my A. I did confess last year that I had lied to my family for many years but did not confess as to what that lie was. Now I believe He is telling me it is time.

My question, do I take this as a literal request? Do I discuss this with the leaders of our church, with my WH and my DD? With DD's IC? Comments?

If God said it, why does it need to make sense to you? I propose that perhaps He might be smarter than you. Could it be He already knows the outcome of all of this?

LOL, ACT no I am not questioning His wisdom by any means. I am questioning MY interpretation of what I heard. I am also looking for advice on how to handle this with my DD.

I think you should take the action you proposed and allow Him to lead you down His path. Whatever that may be. I like the quote The Wonderings use. Something like, if your not sure of what God is telling you to do, then keep asking until you do.

ACT

FF - I believe God talks to those of us open to His voice. One must be still to hear His voice sometimes - other times it drowns out everything else (in my experience, anyway)

My interpretation is this: You will not need to seek the opportunity. God will place it in front of you if that is what He wants you to do.

How old is DD? Oh, yea. I think she is 12ish (same as mine)
Wow. If I were the one who was up against that wall - I think I might prepare myself mentally and spiritually - then create the setting to tell DD. Then allow and accept all that comes. Do not defend. Accept. Apologize. Allow her to feel, and to emote as much as she needs and wants. It may take days and weeks for her to deal with it. She would have questions. I think I would do it at home, or at a place where home was very convenient. Have my spouse or friend take the other kids out for pizza for a couple of hours. DD might need to run to her room and slam the door and play loud music. Then ask questions, and need some bonding. Really no way for me to predict what my DD would do.

This is my scenario of what I think I would do in my current state of mind, if it were me. I do not have a clue what you should do. Some vets might offer some good insight.

I do not think you should pursue to tell - I think it will come to you if that is what God wants you to do. He is preparing you for something - just be ready. Maybe write it out - kinda like your testimony - so you do not go off course when you are asked "what should I do?" Just be prepared. Who knows - if your pastor knows, he might ask you tell the church..... or a ladies Bible study - or.....

Telling your DD might be part of the preparation.

Let me know what you do!

far

Thank you, FAR. You may be right, telling DD could be part one of the preparation. As ACT said, maybe I should do all of the above. Talk to our spiritual leaders, to my WH and my DD's IC as part of the preparation. I will pray on it. I will begin to write out my testimony and see where He leads me on this. Thanks!

I would not be shocked if&when you do talk to your pastor/minister/whatever, that he indicates that he is currently working on a sermon or series dedicated to just such topic. I'd almost bet on it.

ACT

faithful

The key question is for me - because I get similar urges... is it God or my own guilt whispering?

If you can look at it very clearly and know that you have worked through the guilt, perhaps then it is God saying close this chapter and use the experience and knowledge to help others.

God may be saying to you give me your guilt, pain & loss and I will restore you, forgive you and hold you up. Of course sometimes HIS version of what you need is not always what YOU want.

BUT if you still feel consumed with guilt...look and examine the issues and question ..is it for God or is it for you? If its 'just' for me I get a bit doubtful. It doesn't feel right. I then ask am I truly seeking forgiveness or paying lip service and fooling myself...because I won't be fooling God

It must be what feels right for YOU FF ..look in YOUR heart and see whats there ..does it feel right? Praying and talking to your pastor cannot hurt at all.
GOD will ans & tell you what HE asks of you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

To what benifit is this for your daughter?

I really don't know Pep. Like I said I heard this in my head this morning. Not sure why.

AW, no my guilt is pretty well dealt with and I have accepted God's forgiveness.

I do not want to do anything to hurt my DD anymore than she has been hurt. I had planned on telling her the truth when she got older but sometimes wish I had been honest with her sooner. She has been so hurt by her father now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

FF, i don't understand. why would you want your DD to know this, how would it help her? i'm not sure if you are saying you feel you should tell her or tell the entire congregation. is that what you mean by giving a breif testomony to the church? but then if you do that, DD will know too. and perhaps some of her friends will now know. how does that help anything???

ok, i know i am very far away from being able to say i have a clue about God, but this does not seem like a good idea to me.

FL, it could be that I am being called to give a testimony just to a select group. Not sure if it was meant to be to the full church really. No again, that is why I posted it because the only issue about my DD is confusing.

How do you know it was God?

You know, I used a lot of the same thought processes I'm reading here to justify my affair.

I got on my knees, in church, and thanked Him for bringing the OW into my life...

Just something to consider.

I wouldn't do this until you are sure what HER benifit will hopefully be.

LO, that is a very good question and something I will pray about. This is not something I am taking lightly nor will respond to in a knee jerk reaction.

Pep,I believe this will come to light through prayer and discussion. There has been something nagging me in the back of my mind for some time now that I missed an opportunity last year when OM's W confronted me. I regret not telling DD right there and then that mommy made a terrible mistake many years ago and kept if from daddy. Then tell her what God had done in my heart and in my life to change me and ensure that something like this would never happen again. I was so cowardly IMO.

In the NT, Christians are instructed to "test the spirits".

In general, is this something that's consistent with how God has behaved toward His people in the past? Is it consistent with what He has expected of them in the past?

You can reference scripture and other trusted Christians for this info.

God is always concerned about what is best for all around. If you can't be clear about how this helps your daughter, then I'd say it's your cross to carry.

What does you H think?

In my opinion, this adult issue is too much of a burden for your young girl to bear, especially at this time. You don't know the outcome of your situation yet.

She has enough stuff to deal with in her little life already.

I sincerely hope you don't saddle her with this also.

Hold on to your life boat and focus on your situation. There will be plenty of time to help others. God will not take the opportunity away.

Susan

Is this to make HER feel better or to make YOU feel better?

Not to make me feel better but I believe I missed an opportunity to show her about growth and forgiveness as well as the fact that parents have human failings too.

Don't worry anyone that I am going to saddle my DD with this. I have had some worries at times that my WH would let it slip but he seems to have let that need for revenge go.

I'm officially a Catholic who is very actively involved in our parish, as well as being a member of a Jewish women's ecumenical group at our neighborhood synagogue. I relate more to Judaism than to the NT.

With this background, I vote for not burdening your DD with any information or details about your past. It isn't fair to her. I also vote for not opening up to the members of the church you attend. That is because the more people who know about your secrets, the more likely it is for word to get back to your DD.

I had a colorful past to put it mildly. My son knows nothing of the risks I took, the sins I committed or the things I suffered growing up and as a young adult. I use what I learned through experience to give him general guidelines.

For example, I used drugs and somehow in spite of it I came out the other side clean and sober. My sister used drugs and is not a fully functioning human being and I have never allowed her into his life because I don't trust her judgment. She gave her own daughter hard drugs, justifying it because "She's going to take them anyway, and I want her to do it at home with me where she is safe."

We (STBX and I) spend time talking with our son about drugs, alcohol, cigarettes. I don't need to tell him how I used to be a 2 pack a day smoker; used to stay out all night drinking and then go to work the next day still drunk, or about all the wonderful acid I dropped, in order to warn him about the dangers of abusing his body like I abused mine.

I know you are a God-fearing, Christ-following woman, a wonderful mother, and you have a beautiful spirit. But I wouldn't take the voice you heard to be a command that must be followed.

Sometimes when I am just waking up, I hear loud sounds in one ear, sometimes it is a word or two. I think it might be a neurological phenomena.

Your DD has enough to deal with in her life. I see no good reason to confess your past to her. Or to your church members.