Well, Wh called and said since I keep calling OWH work, OW finally broke down and told her H. (Highly doubtful, but anywho)...

Then, he says that OW is scared to be with him now as she doesn't know what else I will do. He wants me to get on the phone with her and reassure her. I said (in my most polite southern bell tone), put her on. She babbles in the background but wouldn't come to the phone. So I told WH to just let her know that I would show her the same respect she showed for my family...

He hung up on me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

"So I told WH to just let her know that I would show her the same respect she showed for my family..."

HA! That is classic.

Continue trying to notify her husband. You have her scared now. This may help end the affair.

Jean-In my sitch WW gets really mad at me every time she talks to another person that knows about her A with OM.
I have told both our families, and friends. Also let her know that a couple dozen people have now came forward and told me they seen her with him. The more you tell the harder there affair will be. He will feel guilt and shame. Although I'm still waiting to see how this will help me the BS. Right now it does not help our relationship. In fact WW thinks now she can not trust me and that I have some how betrayed her!!
Does your WH work with OW? If so that is something to think about. There are people on here that can give you the pros and cons to busting up you WH affair. I'm still waiting for the dust to settle from my exposing.
Expect him to get really mad at you. Because exposing will force them deeper into hiding. Especially if you live in a small or medium sized town like me.
My WW was spending all her free time shopping, swimming, lunch time, movies etc with OM. Until exposing. Now they can only hide out together at his apartment or leave town. No more fun and games out in the daylight. They are so paranoid she thinks I'm stalking her and I'm always watching her. Well after catching them together three times she probably should be paranoid.
God bless you and good luck
dazed.

WTG Jean!!!!
The rats are on the run!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Dazed,
I am been reading your thread, I wish you well. OWH was the last of my exposure, he should have been first, but better late than never. I got alot of that today too, "you're stalking me, you have turned everyone against me, these are MY friends, stop infringing on MY life..."

Very interesting beast, this adultering alien life form.

Believer-thanks for the support.

It did feel a little like opening the man hole cover on the sewer and watching rats scurry. WH is so not very pleased with me right now.

He keeps asking me why do I feel the need to keep butting in on his life, etc. Any good lines I can rehearse for that?

Tell him you feel the need to protect your marriage by letting folks know that a sleazy affair is going on. Oh, sleazy may be a DJ.

They all say the same things when exposed. If his affair is so wholesome, you'd think he would want people to know.

Dear Jean, My famous line to my w/h when he asked, "What had I done?"
(This was the question he asked when I told him his mother didn't have to pay for the rest of the month at her living facility and I had informed the adminstrator and director of MIL's assisted-living facility of the activities, the o/w aka activities director had been doing with my husband)

My response to my husband question was, "I was saving my marriage. I did something I should have done months ago."

Jean I felt such empowerment with those two sentences. I felt like I could have conquered the world at that moment. I felt like I had taken my power back.

May you experience the same exhilaration I felt at that moment.

Sincerely,
K.D.'s Heartbreak

WS want BS to reassure OP????!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
That is too much! It would be funny if it weren't so cruel and callous.

WS babble can be so flabbergasting. The trick is not to let it ruffle your feathers, but roll off you like a duck.

WH: You are interfering in my life!
Jean: Yes, dear, we've been interfering in each other's lives since we got married. I'd like to interfere with you more in the future, but you'll have to have a good scrub and get tested for cooties first!

Er, ah... well, you better ask Orchid on that one first! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

In other words, the OW broke down and told her H a big ole fat whopping lie about some "jealous whackjob who thinks I am doing her husband." [you, Jean, being the starring whackjob] Jean, get ahold of the man and make very certain he has the CORRECT STORY. The OW likely lied to him and your H is trying to save her [censored].

jean-I got the same question, and used the same line that kds suggest. "I'm only fighting to save our marriage, and if would have expected you to do the same thing for me."
Good luck
Dazed.

Jean,

""why do I feel the need to keep butting in on his life, etc.""

Your life is my life!! We are married and our lives are intertwined. I am your wife and you, my husband. You have no "individual life" without the family.

You are not a separate single entity whose actions have no consequence. Your actions directly effect me, our children, (if there are any) and our close family. Right now your actions embarass and disgust me.

Plus you said that OW is afraid of what you will do next??

She SHOULD be afraid...she should be VERY AFRAID!!

k

"As long as we are married, your life IS my life. What happens in our marriage very much is my business, especially adultery." On the other hand, you can't reason with someone who uses no reason, so there isn't much you can say anyway.

Thanks for the support guys. And yes it is very doubtful that OWH knows the story. But WH does appear pretty torn up that I scared away his mistress.

He was supposed to pick up the kids at 5:30 to take them out for dinner. He pulled in at 4:00. I went out and asked if he would like me to get the kids ready early, he said he would wait until his appointed time. And he did, sat in the driveway for 1 1/2 hours.

I wouldn't be surprised if he just moved back in with the sole purpose of making my life ******. The problem is, I don't give much of a crap right now. I am comfortably detached. I am not scared of him or intimidated by him. Asking me to reassure OW was pretty much all I needed to hear to realize that this man has lost his ever loving mind.

I don't really give a hoot about the house or the stuff, he keeps theatening me, told me today he would have me evicted. He also called me stupid and psycho...

But, I am oddly very serene. I am going to the library and perhaps to pick up some dinner while the kids are gone.

I doubt that WH and I will look back on this and laugh together one day, but I know that I am not playing victim or martyr today, and that feels pretty good.

p.s I seriously doubt the OW has broken up with your H, they are just saying that in the hopes that you will let this drop and not contact her H. Keep at it, Jean, until you get him. You have her scared to death and need to keep her on the ropes. Don't let her con you!

Now what were you supposed to reassure her of?

WH told me that OW and OWH had lunch where she told him everything. So now that it was all in the open, would I reassure OW that I would not cause her any more trouble.

Wow. That's the same thing my WH's OW did. Or said she did. But turned out is was just another big lie. I exposed to her husband anyway, going on the feeling that anyone who cheats can't be trusted to suddenly be truthful. Turns out he knew nothing about the affair.

And if her husband already knows, why would she be afraid of you telling him? Hmmmmm................

That's what I asked WH. If he wants me to stop "meddling in his affairs", then just suck it up and go tell OWH to his face that while he was paying you to fix a machine, you were also fixing his wife.

Now I am told the OWh doesn't speak much English at all, he would not understand me anyway, WH would need OW to translate for OWH blah blah, babble babble.

But, a buddy told me that since she is from a certain Asian country (trying not to offend) , she is probably a conflict avoider and she will think of me as a loose cannon with no character. That's OK too, let her think I am the one residing in Jerry Springersville. I just drive in every once in a while to shake up the rats in the sewer.