I know what many of you are going to think when I post this. But I figured I should do it anyway. My fiance and I separated in June of 2004. We were together for 3 years and have known each other for 20 years. We are both 24 years old. Around christmas of 2002 I miscarried his baby. And we have not been able to get over that. But 3 months after I lost the baby, we got back together. Now, 3 years later he is having a baby with another girl. I know I know you people are like give up on him move on. It's difficult I still love him and I know part of him deep inside still loves me. I mean, we were gonna get married. He had told me once that I was the only girl for him that he wanted no one else. The girl who is pregnant with his child, said that she does not wanna be with him anymore and that she was just using him. I feel so bad for him and my heart aches for him. When he's hurt i'm hurt. It's just like that with us. I am praying and praying that he will eventually find his way back to me. So what I guess i'm asking is what do you people think of all this? I mean we lived together and everything. She's leaving him and every girl accept me has either used him or cheated on him. I wish I could just show him that I would never hurt him. I think part of him believes it but he's just scared. So any advice is welcomed as long as it's not hurtful.

“””Around Christmas of 2002 I miscarried his baby. And we have not been able to get over that.”””

Let me ask you a serious question. What have you done to get over that? There are a lot of support groups and web sites available to help with that. I mean it boils down to going through the grieving process, where are you stuck at?

“””Now, 3 years later he is having a baby with another girl.”””

Did he cheat on you while you two where together? Do you realize that if y’all do get together that it’s likely that you’ll be tied to this other baby for life whether it strictly be financial or otherwise?

“””It's difficult I still love him and I know part of him deep inside still loves me.”””

Let’s be real here, you love him, I can buy that BUT and you notice the big BUT you only THINK somewhere deep down in some recesses that he loves you, you truly don’t know anything outside of your body.

“””He had told me once that I was the only girl for him that he wanted no one else.”””

That is great but what have his actions shown. With the information you’ve given us they’ve shown that he loves you so much that he’s sleeping with another and getting her pregnant. Honestly, that’s got to piss you off. Not necessarily the sleeping with the other girl, though it should, but that she got pregnant and she’ll likely carry to term and likely have a healthy baby. At some place in your heart are you saying THAT SHOULD BE MY BABY, THIS ISN’T FAIR…

So what do I think, well it’s hard to form an opinion with such limited information. I do think that you’re hurting and some of your feelings are based on the hurt from the miscarriage and while they are valid now won’t necessarily be the same feelings that you have once you process all the emotions and work past the miscarriage. I further think that you are young and have a plenty of time so don’t rush into a bad decision. I would highly recommend no matter what happens, no pregnancy or living together until you’re married.

Hi Alicia(?)--

My take is that sometimes things happen...okay, all the time, things happen. What I mean is that y'all had something special, experienced a tragic event, parted ways. You did your thing, he did his. Now, you are back in each other's lives, but the circumstances have changed. Accepting what IS goes a long way. The good thing is that you have options here. Go with it...if it gets too sticky, then back out, if not...enjoy the ride!

I don't know all the details of your situation, so feel free to elaborate! Wishing you the best! Take care,

JLG