Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
H
Member
Member
H Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
My WxH grandfather passed away last night. I was with my MIL when we received the news. He was the only grandfather I have ever known. It was to be expected, he was 91 and very ill, but still it is hard news to take.

My WxH was very close to his grandfather. I know my WxH is in pain right now.

The funeral is out of state and very expensive to fly to. My MIL told her sons not to attend, since it was more important to visit their grandfather every chance they got while he was alive, (which they both did) then to go to his funeral.

I'm conflicted if I should contact my WxH. I know he is in so much pain and I just want to see how he is coping. Should I contact him?


BS (Me)41
WH 41
D-day 1/7/04
H moved out 3/4/04
Served Vegas Divorce 7/19/04
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,906
Yes you should ....

it is a graceful and loving and act on your part....
and no matter the outcome...it will free you from regret down the line...

Speak your admiration and loss of his grandfather in your words....


hopelessly...I know you have been hurt deeply by his actions....
but you have move through all of the pain with great strength....
you are a very admirable woman....

ARK

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
I'm conflicted if I should contact my WxH. I know he is in so much pain and I just want to see how he is coping. Should I contact him?

If you want to, yes. If you don't want to, no.

You have 100% freedom to choose what works for you right now. There is no obligation either way.

~~~freedom~~~ let it ring !!!!

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
How are you doing?

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
H
Member
Member
H Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
I'm hanging in there. I know his grandfather is with the Lord and out of pain. I know I'm not able to go to the funeral but I'll always have all the wonderful memories of him and he will always be a part of me.

I haven't spoke with my WxH yet, the time difference makes it hard and I'm trying to find just the right words without breaking down. I know he is mourning right now and so am I and our hearts are very much vulnerable and to open up my heart to all the emotions that comes in talking with him will be difficult.

It will be a perfectly innocent call to see how he is coping with the passing of his grandfather but I never know if my WxH will be in his fog or not.


BS (Me)41
WH 41
D-day 1/7/04
H moved out 3/4/04
Served Vegas Divorce 7/19/04
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
H
Member
Member
H Offline
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 340
I couldn't get a hold of my WxH, I tried three times, I don't know he saw the caller ID and decided not to pick up.

The third time I called I decided to leave a message, I just wanted him to know that I know how much pain he is in, how a special and unique person his grandfather was and since I never had a grandfather I thanked him for letting me share his and for that I will be forever grateful.

I just wish I could have talked to him, but maybe there were circumstances that he couldn't pick up the phone since I know how controlling the OW is.

I do know what kind of pain he is in and my heart does feel for him. I know I'm going to miss him (his grandfather) but he is in better place right now, I wish I could say the same thing about his grandson.


BS (Me)41
WH 41
D-day 1/7/04
H moved out 3/4/04
Served Vegas Divorce 7/19/04

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (finnbentley), 634 guests, and 82 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
finnbentley, implementsheep, rafaelakutch, DGTian120, MigelGrossy
72,044 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by still seeking - 08/09/25 01:31 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,044
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0