After reading alot of threads on trusting God. I did some serious thinking. At first I thought my belief wasn't strong enough to put everything in His hands. But I put everything about my son in His hands and he is doing great. Why couldn't I put my marriage and this affair in His hands? Then I got to think about God's answers and how sometimes He does say no, and I realize that is what I am afraid of. I'm afraid His answer could be or already is no. I know that God does know what is best for us, but that would be so hard to take. And it is answer that I don't want to hear. I know I have changed my prayers from make him wake up and come home to let him get better, and help me deal with all of this and to know what to do. I'm really trying my belief is strong I'm just afraid of God's answer.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

God's answer to a prayer to restore a marriage is always YES. He hates divorce. Knowing that you are praying in line with God's will - let's you know that you can expect his help. <P>Give it to God, it is Okay! You CAN trust him with your marriage. <P>Jesus first miracle was turning the water to wine at a wedding reception! God says throughout the Bible that he ordained marriage, and he will bless marriage! <P>Ahhh, and prayer. Check out this little link, you might like it! <P>http://www.fishermansnet.com/Angelfairy/angelfairy-38.html<P>TNT

TrustnTruth...you know I love ya...but I'm not sure I agree with your post. I agree God hates divorce and that he blesses marriage, but I do not always believe he will restore marriage.<P>We all have our own free will and if a mate chooses to go against God's will and leave a marriage I do not think God always makes it work.<P>Remember the bible verse about if an unbeliever wants to leave then let him leave?<P>I do believe that if you pray for God's will he will bless your life and it will work out for the best...whatever that may be.<P>I by the way, also had this fear early on. My SIL was the only one close to me that was ever divorced. She was basically dumped after 20 years and 3 children. No one saw it coming. Anyway she used to pray and say out loud. Lord, bless this marriage. Still there was nothing she could do...didn't even have a chance to put it together.<P>The Lord is still working in her life and don't know the outcome...but sin wrecks havoc on our lives...our own sin and the sin of others.<P>God can do anything...but we can not predict or comprehend everything he does or does not do with our limited human minds.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

If our spouse is an unbeliever, and chooses to leave, then we have that choice to let them go. But God agrees to be part of that 3 stranded cord. A 3 stranded cord is not easily broken. <P>Yes, God will be with a believer the entire way, through reconcilliation, divorce, through plan A through plan B. <P>I have a Pastor in CA. And, a long time ago, in a former life - he was the unbeliever and she was the believer. He drank, had affairs, and was abusive. He left her. She stood on the 3 stranded cord promise, and she stood on the belief that God is a restorer - and prayed for her marriage and reconcilliation. God gave her the freedom to choose, to choose to stand and pray or the freedom to let him go. It was up to her.<P>She decided to pray for her husband. 8 years later, and tons of relationships in between, he came to know the Lord, reconciled with his "standing wife" and they were reconciled. He is a pastor today.<P>Gavin and Patty McCloud. (Remember the captain on the LoveBoat? That Tv Show?). Gavin and Patty both led Godless lives, it was not their first marriage, he left his wife - drinking and adultery. A year after he left and they were divorced, she became a Christian, and began standing on God's promises. It wasn't long and he was led by God to her home one evening - out of the blue, (Well, not really - it was God) - and they hadn't spoken in a year or two (Gavin and Patty.) He accepted Jesus after that, and they were reconciled. They have a TV program now, on TBN - and have written a book. Can't remember the name of the book, but their entire ministry is on restored marriages.<P>FHL, I love ya too, but I think God let's US, the believer, to make the decision.

TNT and FHL, I agree with you both. We can always trust God. And it is true that the spouse does not always come back. If you read my last post about faith I stated that we need to listen to his direction. I stood for my first marriage for 12 years. I was celibate through this time. I was in Born Again Marriages and I grew and learned so much, I do not regreat standing for that marriage in the least bit. It was the greatest spirtiual growth I have had. Some friends encouraged me to quit standing. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't of quit. But because of that stand of faith I was much more capable of dealing with the present marriage. I will not be a victim if I keep my eyes on Jesus and not let my circumstances control me. Also we have all sinned and fallen short of the mark and should not judge others for it but walk in Love. Perfect love casts out all fear. My favorite is "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but power, love and a sound mind." The devil is the accuser of the believers, if we repent God casts our sin in the sea of forgetfulness, he remembers it no more. Don't let the devil beat you up, you are the head and not the tail. God Bless, peace to you, Ginn

Yes, God hates divorce, but he also hates infidelity, abuse, neglect, arrogance and selfishness. I believe that he wants marriage to last, but sometimes, one of the spouses is not a good thing for the other, as in my situation. Gpd wants us to uplift and encourage eachother and sometimes when that is not happening an affair is an avenue for that to come out. Trust in God, yes, but even in a marriage, his answer is sometimes no, so that we can grow to be better people for ourselves and for others.<P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<P>

TNT and FHL, I have always trusted your belief's in God and I agree, that the marriage is something God believes in wholeheartedly. But, along with Ginn I have to say that if the devil is behind the partners actions then God would want to save what he could. I think we need to just learn to put things in God's hands and let him decide. Why do we have to second guess his actions? He knows what he is doing so much more than we do. <BR>I need to pray to accept the things I cannot change as well as knowing the wisdom between the two, the ones I can and the ones I can't. If this marriage is meant to be it will be. If not, isn't it better to know that God will help you carry your pain and put you in a better position then you are right now? Trust in Him, His is the only right way. God Bless you!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

I believe God's answer is always yes to marriage too. I believe he would never say no. <P>Yes our spouse have the opprotunity to refuse to and go with their own will but, I still believe if you stand on faith like TNT says that the 3 stranded cord is very hard to break.<P>FHL & TNT I love you both! You have both helped me through some of the roughest times of my whole life. And I have had a rough life. <P>On this I believe God never says no. The humans in our lives might but, God never says no to marriage.<P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

OK...how about God never says no (except maybe in the case of physical or severe emotional abuse or malicious abandonment), but if the human refuses God's will, the partner open to God's will will be taken care of and God will continue to bless their life...with or without partner<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I think another thing to remember is that through marriage we became one flesh with our spouse. Yes our spouses can leave us and we can divorce, but on this earth we will always be one flesh.<P>I know right now I'm am utterly beset with male temptation--the Enemy knows my weakness is the same as my husband's. I have to keep closing the door to other relationships, even though my H rarely meets my needs. I have a little buzz phrase I use to remind myself. "Work without a net". I can't dangle some poor guy on the hope that he & I will get together if my marriage breaks up. It would be despicable to treat him like that. And my efforts would be less than 100% to stand on my marriage. <P>One guy who became interested in me last spring actually asked me if he was first on my list (of men) if I get divorced...I said there is no list, and to please stop calling me. <P>Sorry, I got off on my own tangent, but I'm really struggling with temptation in the face of my H trying to decide if he is leaving again. After a year and a half I am so tired of being treated badly by my H when attractive, charming men seem to be offering me better...I know that is just the Enemy's lie, but the "fantasy" is so appealing.<P>I've really been down the last couple days because my H DID treat me wonderfully on the vacation. He is capable of restoring this marriage, he just doesn't want to close his own doors to other possibilities.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Lor, The subtle wiles of the devil are hard to fight but God has given us weapons. He has not left us defencless, Praise God. Put your armor on, plead Jesus' blood on yourself, and resist the devil and he will flee from you. Jesus gave us his authority to fight, the keys of binding and loosing. Bind up the devils plots in your life and loose the power of the Holy Spirit in yourself. Eph. 1:18-19 "I pray also that the eyes of your heart might be enlightened in order that you may know his incomparably great power for us who believe." Eph 3:16 "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being." Also Eph 3:20-21 and Eph 6:10. Be strong! After I stood for 12yrs. for my first marriage I fell into sin with a man and had two children from him. I fought against this happening with everything within me. I laid on my bathroom floor and cried all night for a week that God would deliver me from the temptation, what I did not do was go to other Christians who I could confide in and trust to stand with me against the temptation the devil had brought my way. I was embarrised and humiliated that I had fallen, but I knew in my heart that God brings good out of the evil Satan brings upon us. I became much stronger person going through this (and learned not to judge others when they fall) and was blessed with two beautiful children. If you read Job you will know God does allow us to be tested and tried. I am not condoning extra marrital affairs or fornacation, it leaves us devastated and ashamed. But God's great mercy and love restores us. It is better not to fall into it, but Praise be to God we have a redeamer who forgives us. As far as the abuse you are suffering, go to your Father and present your husband to him and repent for him. Moses fell on his face before God and repented for the Isrealies, not because they sinned against him but because they sinned against God when they spoke against Moses. Moses did not take it personal unto his own hurt, but acted in love. Bless your H when ever he is unkind to you and acts like your enemy. He's not! If you bless him, God will convict him in his wrong doing. I have taught my children this powerful message and promise from God. My oldest daughter was at work and one of her co-workers who was a Christian was complaining about another worker. My daughter told this man to bless this man that was persecuting him and he did. She said to his amazment the other man has been kind to him since. Forgiveness not only sets us free, but also looses the bonds on others, blessings looses God's goodness on people but also lovingly convicts hearts not right with him. My prayers are with you. Love, blessings, peace, Ginn

SDS, God hates divorce and marital seperation. Pray and ask God's will for your marriage. I believe his answer is yes. There are hinderences to our prayer, disobedience, secret sin, indifference, neglect of mercy to name a few. But he is a restorer and marriage is top of his list because it glorifys him. Jesus is the bride groom and we are the bride. Trust that he wants what is his will for your marriage. After 12 yrs. of standing for my first marriage I yeilded to what a man said to me to stop standing. (He was married and lusting after me, although I did not fall into sin with him, I did fall). I don't believe God calls everyone to this, but if he does, know that this was the most profitable time for me. As stated about Patty McCloud, she also was involved in Born Again Marriages and learned to stand for her marriage. That ministry folded because I believe they didn't keep their eyes on the Lord but kept their eyes on their spouses. Apparently Patty got it right. He needs to be our first love. Although my first marriage failed God promised me his salvation, and that is the most important of all, over and above the marriage. God has forgiven me my weaknesses and is teaching me to walk in Love. (If you read my posting, on Faith works by Love). I am released from that first marriage according to scripture and am one with my H now. This is not always the case as I have seen God bring marriages back after other marriages, but each need to seek his will in our lives. Gods answers to our prayers is yes if we pray his will. Love, Ginn

Just changed internet servers so I just got back on. Took awhile to read all the post and thanks for all your comments. I agree God says yes to marriages, but He does say no to things we want that are not what he wants for us. I also know that there are times when someone is very ill no matter how much we pray for healing it doesn't always happen. I guess I am afraid that this is one of those things that God can't heal. My H seem to alway be such a strong Catholic ( or at least I thought he was.) But not to long ago he started questioning and felt uncomfortable at church. I think now it was because he knew he was sinning. Everything he has done is so far away from who he use to be. I know he can't find his way back without some faith. But, as it was pointed out we all have freedom of choice. And if he chooses not to listen to God what can God do? I guess that it is what I am afraid. I hold on to my faith that God will do He all can. But I still hope that He can do something to open my H's eyes so that he may realize what he is doing and change back to the kind loving person he once was. The other part I am afaid of is that I won't be apart of this. So many fears, so many hopes it is all so scary. But it so hard to keep the faith when you are alone without the person with whom you have shared everything with until now.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>