Did you hesitate to say he "shot" his first deer because:

1. You're turning into a softy on gun ownership and/or use;
2. He really just hit it with his TRUCK;
3. He really got his first girlfriend (you meant he caught his first "dear") and the picture is superflous;
4. He really "caught it" with his bare hand - quite impressive!!!

Really it is a beautiful MICHIGAN buck. Traverse Area???

Have a wonderful evening, y'all!

Mr. Wondering

I sure hope so. Here's for moving forward.

I wingshoot and big game. I am leaving tommorow night. Tuesday for the airport. We are going to a small town in South Dakota called Wecota. Population 14. No kidding. We have a picture of the sign. We are going to shoot pheasant and hopefully some grouse also. The grouse are rather elusive. Last year the owner of the farm got a very nice 10 point buck we had been watching a couple of days.

It is extremely cold there this year. 18 below zero today F. Minus 33 wind chill.

That is an awesome buck you son got. Nice weather too. I live in North GA and would love to get to hunt deer in the snow. Thanks for the pics. Tell your son congrats.

Lab pup and I are going to bed. My dogs are soooo sweet. 8 yr old Lab is lying in from of wood stove warming asleep and new pup "Kasey" is asleep with her head on the keyboard in my lap. BTW my older labs name is "Sunni".

Hey Waiting;

My wife's grandmother is from Ellijay, GA. Probably about your neighborhood. We live in Michigan right now but will be moving to the Canton, GA area next spring/summer once we sell our home here. My wife has endured 10 years in the Michigan tundra. Not quite as cold as South Dakota but cold enough.

Mr. Wondering

Mr.Wondering

It is a small world. My wife and I in the spring prior to A of course were looking for vacation/rental investment cabin in Ellijay. That is about an hour from here but we are only 15 miles / 20 minutes from Canton. In fact my best friends wife is from Canton. He mother passed away a couple of weeks ago. I think I even mentioned the funeral or something in my thread sometime back.

Man it is a small world. I have never been to Michigan but I have heard storys that winters are horendous there. Welcome to God's country down here. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

WW is going to IC today by herself. We talked about todays session and if I could go because of work and all I have to do to get ready to leave town. (she was perfectly willing to go with me) I decided to stay and work. It takes 3 hrs there and back plus the session, so a big chunk of my day would be gone. She suggested. I think as a matter of kindness, not to keep me away.

Anyway, she is going by herself. She seemed in a good mood and the last thing she told me when she left was have a good day and I will call you when I leave the appointment.

My reason for posting this info is to just ask for prayer support about our sitch especially today as I will not be back until Sunday and I am hoping that God will use this time to soften her heart.

We all watched Chasing Christmas last night on TV and it seemed to be a fun evening with the family. We all laughed a bit. I am hoping as days go by, she will see the importance of trying and working things out.

I hope our MC today encourages her to stay. I know she will encourage her to take ownership of her problems and decisions.

Here's to Hope.

Thanks in advance.

WHATEVER!!


Yes, it was in Traverse. He tells me this is a really good deer because he weighs 200 lbs! POOR DEER!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

I showed the pic to my oldest son this morning. He thought it was awesome. What is your son doing in Michigan? Not that there is anything wrong with Michigan mind you. Just curious. School or hunting? Aren't you from Tex Mel?

Tell your son I said thanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> My son, although a PURE BLOOD TEXICAN, was raised in Michigan and goes to college up there. I moved back down here to Texas in 2000 and he stayed with his father and goes to college. His father is an avid outdoorsman who taught Chris how to hunt and fish.

Well now that makes sense. He is a fine looking young man. I know you are proud of him. BTW are you a Longhorn fan? If so, Hook'em Horns at the Rose Bowl !!! Actually I am an Aggie Fan but anybody but USC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mel<---------RED RAIDER!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Nice offense. Go Red Raiders !!! How is the basketball team looking this year?

I am back from my few days of being gone and trying to get back up to speed on were everyone is on there sitch and also mine. Wife greated me outside with smiles, but no affection. I called her once a day at the end of the day and talked but did no beg, at pathetic or anything.

I did spend time praying for my marriage. I told her I love them (meaing her and the kids). She said the preverbial "u 2 "

I am not sure how the sleeping arrangements will go tonight. I hope she is in bed with me. If not I will not LB but let her know I am disappionted.

She was very talkative and I was sure to listen carefully to wat she said. She was talking about teaching our SS class and how well that went.

I have a morning appointment with Steve Harley. Hopefully that will go well.

Good to be back.

Hi Waiting, I hope you had a nice few days away. I've continued to follow your story but just don't seem to have much to add at the moment - others seem to be more experienced at the stage you are dealing with. God bless you. I am thinking about you and wish you all the best. God bless you & your wife & marriage.

I got another nice surprise over the weekend - my wife visited a mutual friend who knows our situation and also the OM. I had heard her telling this friend on the phone when she first came home to me that "It was the best time and the darkest time of her life" (referring to the affair. She told me on the weekend she was talking again with the friend and said she used to think the above but now she just thinks of it as the blackest darkest time of her life. That's progress. I know your wife will come around too.

Thanks BK, I know our sitch has kinda gone into that lull before the storm so everything is pretty much slow moving on new info.

I did have a morning appointment with SH today and that went well although my wfie will not talk to him anymore. At least not now.

I had a pretty upsetting moment occur today that I will post a little later as soon as I finish it. It involves my FIL and a commment my wife made about something I said about her affair.

Thanks for checking in and I hope yours continues to go well. (your marriage <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) Sounds like you guys are doing well. I certianly hope ours will soon. God's speed and blessing to you.

WOL

Welcome back

Shoot anything????

Mr. Wondering

Yes, limited out on pheasant. It was awesome and the Guys wife cooks up some of the best meals for us. It was some of the most physically challenging hunting I have ever done. Cold, Windy, temps at single digits and wind chill well below freezing, walking in deep snow, but the birds were incredible.

South Dakota had a fantastic year for birds.

It is good to be back.

Just as it seemed all was going well today, we had a pretty decent blow up. We were at work and I walked into her office because we had been trying to get with each other on something this morning and kept having interruptions. Normal stuff.

While I was in her office she was finishing a conversation she was having with her Dad. After she got off the phone she said " sorry about that but, (so and so) wanted to know why my Dad moved his horses from his trainer that he had been with for quite awhile." I then asked her who he moved his horse training to.

You guessed it. My FIL who knows about the EA/PA (albeit not sexual and over according to my WW) moved all his horses in training to the OM's barn. According to my WW she told me back on d-day that her dad had a few horse there already. I don't recall that but it was on d-day and I was so upset I am sure I don't remember it. Anyway, today was realization for me on that accord, but FIL moved additional (as in all) of his horses to the creep that was trying to steal my wife.

I was obviously incensed about it and told my wife that I felt like that was a slap in the face to me and showed no concern at all for me. I have not really spoken to my FIL or MIL since my wife went to her parents and "told all".

They have not called me to talk to me. In fact my birthday came and went without a phone call. Both my MIL and FIL no showed on a 20 yr history of having Thanksgiving at our house. Supposedly because of a riff between my MIL and my mom. I have felt it was that my wife has not been totally truthful about all her issues of being a WS. I think she (my wife) went light on the issues about her and her affair and heavy on rewritten history stuff. Kinda like, she made a mistake but it is understandable considering the years of anguish I have caused my wife.

Barfffffff, is what I want to say to that if that happened. While I am far from perfect, I am not a bad person or husband either. In fact I was meeting needs she had, just not enough of the right ones and too many of the lesser ones and the occasional LB. I know that now, but then did not.

Anyway I told my wife that it hurt me and I asked if she was totally honest with her parents about her affair? That is were the real problem began.

She is furious with me by calling her EA/PA an affair. She said that she does not see it as such, blah, blah, blah. She told her parents about the phone calls, and kissing but she does not call it an affair.

Bull crap !!! is what it is. If I can admit it she should also. She says she takes responsiblity for her poor decisions but she will not call it what it is.

I asked her; Well then what do you call it? Her response was an "inappropriate relationship". She says that the word affairs makes her and everyone else that hears it think of a sexual affair.

So we continued; She tells me she is just going to her attorney and have him draw up the papers and proceed with a divorce because she can't keep having me refer to it and throw it in her face as an affair. (I am not doing any mentioning of it at all and in the past the only thing I would bring up was the NC issue which I have been in stealth mode for almost 2 weeks.)

We talked, I told her go ahead and she can just tell the kids why she is doing what she is doing. She barked back she will and we had a few more exchanges of verbal banter. No yelling or fussing, just banter.

I asked her if she could not see some changes in me and she admitted she could, but she has "seen" that before. I told her I am learning a new way of dealing with Love and what it truly is. I told her I was going to keep on working on me.

She then said this:

" I would really like to be able to say that we will put all this behind us and go forward and work on a great marriage, but right now that is not how I feel".

She said she really hates it that I let it get to this point before I started making these changes instead of waiting for her heart to become like stone to me. I told her I wished I had but I can only live in the present and for the future.

I can't do anything about the past.

She wanted to tell me that my FIL's decision had nothing to do with us. I told her I agreed but I still am hurt by it, but he has hurt me in the past and this is not different. She says that the horses in training should not be an issue because she can't go to shows anymore. I told her that I was only concerned about our marriage and nothing else, but I was still hurt that my FIL would be so callus and uncaring as to do that.

What is it I am to do. How the h*ll to you handle this when her family seems apathetic at best. The last time my WW and I went through MCing her mother was in my office crying and telling me she did not understand what was wrong with her daughter, she knew better, I was a good husband, father, blah, blah, blah. My FIL felt pretty much the same minus the crying last time.

Now things are different. I don't know what support is there from them.

I don't think my WW is about to go ahead with her threat of going to the attorney. I think it was more am Angry Outburst.

I know I continue to Plan A but I really tire of this sort of relationship. I just long for the day we can have some positive inertia that not only I can see but others can see as well.

Any thoughts out there?

You need to have a chat with your in-laws, waiting. Go over and have a man to man talk with your FIL and make sure your MIL hears the full story. This is exactly the reason why exposure should always come from the BS and never the WS. I will lay you money she told them some sob story with her starring as the victim and you as the villian. It is also very probable that she is contacting the OM via your in-laws because they have been lied to about the true nature of this relationship.

For your FIL to do business with the OM who was trying to destroy his D's family is unthinkable. And he very likely does not know the truth. You need to correct that NOW. And tell them the truth, that is was AN AFFAIR. Your in-laws have been spun into believing you are a demon.

And you did the right thing in not helping her call an affair something else. Good grief. It was an affair.

Nor are you obliged to hide it from her. Tell her that in order for your marriage to recover there will have to be LOTS of talk about her affair until you recover. That is HOW you recover, w. That will take anywhere from 12 to 24 months.

Mel

I don't disagree with you at all. In fact I have felt like I needed to talk to them but they are so mad about the issue between my Mom and her Mom and the petty arguement they had that turned into a huge moutain of hurt feelings, I am not sure they would sit still long enough for me to talk to them.

Nor would my FIL who is about as stubborn, mean spirited person when he sets his mind to it that you can ever hope to meet. In fact he is the controlling one and I would not put it past him to want to see our marriage bust up anyway so he and his daughter can go do their thing (horse shows) together. I hope that is not the case, but I feel like that is they what he is doing. He will avoid me at all costs now. We used to be very close, but not anymore. It is almost like my FIL has been feed the same rewritten history crap about me that she told the OM. Sure I am not perfect but things are blown up to be much more than they really are. I am not sure I am equipped to work on my wifes relationship with me and my inlaws.

My relationship with my inlaws was fine until they gave in to their other daughter and husband (OM) on their marraige born out of an affair and decided he would no longer hold a line with her and I would, then I became the bad guy over a lot of other issues.

I just don't know if it would do any good. If fact it might just be there straw that breaks the camels back to make my wife want to leave.