It finally happened. It was a fight to the end, but WH left this afternoon.

DS is still up so I need to get him to bed. Will fill in the details in a bit.

Kimberly
D-Day May 14th
DS, age 6
Married 13 years
Going into Plan B

Man I feel for you kimberly, good luck and I hope and pray everything works out.

(((( Kim)))))

I know how hard it is and I feel for you. it is one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

It will not be an easy thing but you will get through it. There were days I thought I would die, but yet I am still here. Come here to vent, or cry. We are here for you.

I will tell you as my brother keeps telling me Time is on your side. The pain does ease up and you can make it.....
Take care of yourself and keep busy. Thats the best advice I recieved when my WH was gone. Some days are harder than others but all in all I am doing a lot better than even 2 weeks ago....

Your in my prayers tonight.

Hurting

I had to get a bit ugly today in order to get it through WH's head that he had to go. Still tried to talk his way out of it.

As WH finally walked out the door, he lingered and we held hands. He said "I'll miss you."

Me: "You know how I feel. I don't I have to repeat myself."
WH: "I know."

I hugged him and said "I want us so much to be a family."

WH: "I know. I think maybe I do too. Call me on either of my phones if you need anything."
ME: "Let me know where you are staying in case of an emergency."
WH: "You can reach me anytime on either of my phones."

Hmmmmmm......He didn't want to tell me where he would be. Makes me wonder. But, I'll dismiss that thought out of my head. Now is not the time for me to worry any further with what he is doing. This is time for me.

Later this evening WH called to see if I would give him somebody's phone number. I got the # for him and asked if he wanted to talk to DS. They talked for a moment and I hung up the phone. I clicked back on and WH was still there.

WH: "Well, have a good night."
ME: "o.k., you too."
WH: "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

So, that's that. I'm sad, but o.k. My sis called shortly after WH left so that really helped. She might drive up with her 6 year old boy tomorrow & spend the night. That would be great!

Kimberly

Lem--------> Wolfing the crow down to the last morsel.....I stand corrected, and I was very wrong about you...Shame on me for doubting you.

You are hurt, your sad, you are questioning your actions...no doubt, but just know that you did the "right" thing today...you did not take the COWARD way out and let this man walk all over your dignity and self respect.....you took back your life today.....I am proud of you...shame on me for questioning you.

Your marriage may or may not make it, but none of it would have mattered if you didn't win yourself back first.



Lem

Kim, you did darn good! I am very proud of you. Please send the OWH an email and let him know about this development. He needs to know.

Are you ok?

Well, I guess "that's that"...will be when you give him the Plan B letter and go dark...that is what you meant right?

Lem

Thanks Falcon, Hurting and Lem.

Hurting - It is nice that we all have each other to lean on for support. I know there will be good and bad days. It will be nice not living under the same roof as a person who was destroying me slowly day by day.

Lem - I do feel like I took back my dignity. I really had no other choice than to make him leave. I was completely out of options. Backed in a corner. Losing myself and my happiness. I am worth more than that. This board helped me to see that.

I still have a lot of work ahead of me. I still have to get it through his thick skull that I won't be seeing him. I still have to deliver the Plan B letter.

Unfortunately, I am in a bit of a sticky sitch. With the holiday on Monday we had already decided that WH would be watching DS all day while I was at work.....That means WH would need to be in the house. SO, I couldn't deliver the Plan B letter until after that day....


Kim

Kim, what about giving him the letter when he leaves on that day?

What holiday is on Monday?

Kim -

GREAT JOB!!!!!! It will be hard at first, but I think you will find that you needed to do this. For the BS it can get to a point where you start loathing yourself for being willing to put up with anything.

I do think your husband will be back, with no contact. And this may be one thing that will help him figure out what he is about to lose.

Mel - Columbus Day is on Monday - our schools are closed here. I could stick the letter in his car before he heads out on Monday.... That would probably work better than me handing it to him. I think he'd read it right there & he'd try to talk his way out of it.

Believer - Thanks. I hope that this really will wake him up to see what he could lose. Otherwise, I hope OW is worth it.

Oh, I called my Dad today and told him what was going on. I didn't feel ready to tell him the details yet but did let him know that I asked WH to move out. He knew I had been unhappy and that he knew I didn't come upon this decision in a quick manner. He is there for WHATEVER I need. I told him if he could knock some sense into WH that would be great.

Kim

Kim, how do you think would be the best way to deliver the letter to him?

Mel,

We might have cross posted - I think putting it in his car would be better -



Kim

ok, gotcha! Are you ok tonight? How are you feeling?

(((((Kim)))))
Wow! You did it. I am so happy for you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I know that sounds strange, but think about it. You stood up for yourself. You are taking back control of your life instead of letting some alien force control it. Your WH first step out the door is you H first step back home. You are in my prayers. Don't be surprised if he tries to stay Monday.

Reread what I posted to hurtinginok....it goes for you too! You can do that while delivering plan B letter!

I think with a solid B, you can have your H return.

Godbless you and your little one. I know how difficult it is with a son your age...mine is same age. And mine's lived thru a divorce and instant remarriage and instant half sister and stepbrother. It's wierd. I pray your outcome is soooo different! Just reinforce how much you love your son right now.

It is strange. My son knows that I love him. And that I love him completely. He knows also that he has to share his dad with other people...and it bothers him. That's what WS don't get...that is if they continue being wayward. That their kids aren't happy. The WS view of life with OP is soooo askew.

There is a good chance for reconciliation if you THINK WITH YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW AND PROTECT YOUR HEART!

Now's not the time to let awkward emotions rule you at all.

I'm o.k. just a little sad and VERY tired. DS and I stayed up and played a game, watched a little TV, then I read him a story before tucking him in.

I think the weekdays are going to be tough. All three of us had a nightly routine of doing storytime together. No matter what happened that day(with one or two exceptions) we always had story time together.

Weekends are not too bad b/c I was used to WH going to bed before us anyway.

Kim

Well, after the initial shock, you will probably start feeling a peace you haven't felt in quite some time. The first 2 weeks won't be easy, but after that, it will get easier and easier every day. Hopefully, it will be somewhat of a relief to be removed from this daily horrific drama of your H's affair.

Confused -



I like that thought - WH out the door is the first step for H back in the door. A very positive way of looking at it. Thanks!!!!!!!!

Kim

JustPeachy -



It is too bad that the WH can't see that. WH has told me that no one could replace him as a Dad. I said No, they can't. But really, I too believe that the child will not feel the same for the wayward parent. Especially if the child knows the truth ---

I noticed you mentioned you are in Atlanta area. Me too.

Thanks for your post! I think the mirroring might work well in my sitch.

Kim