This is just something I have been thinking about over the past week or so. There are laws out there protecting a spouse from physical abuse and all kinds of support groups. It seems to me that emotional abuse can be just as "deadly" and since it is an "unseen" abuse (no visible indications present) it doesn't really get the attention it deserves.

A relationship can be just as harmful if the spouse emotionally abuses the partner. Why can't an emotionally abusive partner be physically removed from the premises just like a physically abusive partner?

I think I know the answer - Emotional abuse is not so easy to "show" or "prove". It could easily be made up by a vindictive spouse(but so could physical abuse).

In a case where the WS flaunts the A, tortures the BS by making "false" promises, and continues to carry on in ways that cause great emotional pain why isn't there any protection for a BS?

Just something to think about.

Kimberly
D-Day, May 14th
DS age 6
Married 13 years
WH left yesterday. Going into Plan B.

I read somewhere not long ago that one of the states here in the U.S. wanted to list "Gross Marital Misconduct" as grounds for divorce. It was largely aimed at people who have affairs and would at least provide some "official" recognition that this stuff is not okay and is not normal, and really is a form of emotional abuse that destroys marriages.

If I see the article again, I'll post it.
Mulan

Emotional abuse is subjective. It depends on what your own personal level of tolerance can handle.

Abuse is abuse and it is always wrong. Putting up with it, no matter what degree of abuse, will eventually create damage to the victim.

We all know of women and even men who have stood by their abusive spouses for many decades and took all the abuse dished out to them without much complaint. They may have been beaten, insulted, demeaned and treated cruelly in many ways, but stayed to take it.

On the other hand, there are people who refuse to continue on with a relationship if their partner calls them a name just one time. That puts a permanent end to ever having anything to do with that person.

These are two extreme cases. I think most people lie somewhere in between the two points.

I think if you are an extreme case in either direction, you have to ask yourself "why" and not try to blame the law, or society, or your abuser. You have to look deep inside yourself.

kimberly,

My divorce was granted on grounds of "Gross Neglect of Duty" and "Extreme Cruelty"...without the first mention of anything "physical" having transpired. This was 19 years ago though but I think that states are opting to go with the "any reason that makes it go through faster" approach now.

committed

Post deleted by Cherished

((( Kimberly ))) My first M was full of both kinds of abuse. I feel that, unfortunetly, I know the subject well. I do know that the police are familiar with the battered spouse sydrome.

Not only did I have my x arrested for physical abuse, I also took him to civil court for it during our divorce. My atty. told me that if the guy next door gave me a black eye, I could sue him, same thing with a spouse.

I am so sorry that you are in this situation. When people ask me about why I stayed in it so long, one of my responses is - that the hitting is only the tip of the iceburg.

My very best regards to you, Kimberly - car

Kimberly, have you checked with your local battered women's program? I know our local program works with victims of emotional abuse and I think in our state a spouse can be removed from the home for non-physical abuse, although I may be wrong about that, and the laws of your state may be different. You certainly should be able to find a support group, though. It isn't uncommon for a spouse to progress from verbal to physical abuse, so people who work with abuse victims take emotional abuse very seriously, in my experience.