I am sure it will Lady.... I just have to make it through this court thing and get my finances in order and everything else will fall in place with or without WH. I prefer it with my real H but if he can't be found then we will do it alone without him ....

Serving the papers will be the best thing. One mistake I made was letting WH get ahold of so much money. Who wouldn't be having fun blowing all of that money?

It has been 3 years now, and WH is starting to have his conscience bother him. Or so he says. I think part of it is that he and OW have run out of money. Now they have to scrimp like the rest of us do.

I know believer thats why I am doing it. I never wanted to have to go this far but he has left me no choice anymore...

Like I said glad I won't be there when he is served... I already have fears of him coming over here ranting and raving. I hope he proves me wrong and just stays away but I don't think that will be the case. I hope I will be able to know when he is served so I can be prepared for it. I know it will have to be on the weekend seeing that when he is at her home.

Beleiver I thought yur WH and his OW split? Didn't she go home?

Well back to the bowling alley story.... It seems that OW was in the car.

DS told me that after I left and wH went outside OW came walking back in with him. So it seems she was sitting in the car waiting for him. I guess when they got there they saw my car and she did not come in.

This is the second time this has happen. So 1 of 2 senarios is my thinking:
1. WH made her stay in the car to keep us from coming face to face for fear I would blab to her about what has happen between him and I.

2. She is afraid to face me. Which she should be.

So this now lets me know why he came flying out of the door so fast. I guess he wa afraid I would see her and say or do something. I never even saw the car or even looked for it. Probably a good thing I didn't see her. What is he afraid I would pull her out and beat the crap out of her or is it he is afraid I would tell her the truth of what he has done?

My guess would be the fear of me telling all and bursting her bubble. But I will say this if I had seen her I would have smiled and acted like nothing was wrong..... Really make her worry. I would never lower myself to her slimy position.

So I now know he was not coming to talk to me, he was protecting his Ho or trying to........

Makes me sick to my stomache to think about it. Oh well let the papers roll and lets make a statement of not playing this game anymore.......

Why is it that a live in affair partner always wants to get in the face of the BS and their kids?

Why?

They're sick and evil.

Your WH was worried his gf would get seen...

How nice...GF being MADE to wait in a car while a H goes to see his child bowling and his W is in there...

What is wrong with these Wayward People!!!!! What is wrong with the OP?????

What in the hades is wrong with our society today?

I am PO'd at your WH. Jerk.

yeah I am pretty po'd myself Peachy. I think thats the cowards way out. The B***ch does not even have the balls to face me. Not that I want that but if your so damn proud of what your doing why hide.

I believe its more WH than her I really believe he has a fear of what will be said if we come face to face. It would make him look bad.... Because I know if she ever says anything to me I will let every damn cat out of the bag and I would not care how mad he gets.....

I can't wait now until these papers get served and put a dent in their little love money fest...... And he better pray he does not bring her to court with him because the cats will be let out of the bag for sure....... Thi is just getting crazier by the day.... He is so fogged out now even I can see the fog floating around his head......

Subpoena her for court.

Cite her by NAME in your divorce. I cited TWO WOMEN'S NAMES...monkeyho and FV.

Now they are INFAMOUS...and if somebody did some sort of legal websearch or document search or something...maybe perhaps their names would come up and their secret as other women would follow them...

But alas....I always have wishful thinking <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Peach is feeling eeeeevil tonight...either the moon...or because I am on call...or because I have the cramps. Bleech! Or maybe because all of the above and fact I am getting over wwalking pneumonia...and am mad at my BF.

Cite her. AFter it is legal fact, you can fax it all over the world! To her friends, toher family! YOu can copy it and place it in local newspapers! She is a named marriage terrorist! Do you know her? Have you seen her? She is a ho and a thief!

They're both labeled!

Cite adultery! Tell the truth! What is wrong about exposure? Nothing! Not if you're the one doing the exposing...ha ha.

Thats the plan Peach if this comes to D. For now I am only going to do the LS, I don't have it in my heart to file for D.

Right now the thing is just getting the money thing squared away. After that we will see what happens. I just can't bring myself to file the big one yet. Maybe I am a fool for it but I just can't do it, its not in my heart.

But I do believe either way one day I will get my chance at her. It may be a year from now but by then I probably won't even care anymore. But someday she will know the truth....

(((Hurting)))

I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. We are pretty close to in the same boat. I don't want to file for a divorce either. Right now, it is kind of a cat and mouse thing. I am going to hold out as long as I have stuff to sell. And if WH's file, then I will counterfile if needed.

Someone asked me today if WH is making the house payment. Yes, he is, only because he is too lazy to call and cancel the automatic withdrawel. I think (I hope) both of our WH's are just too lazy to do the paperwork to file. And with your WH being on the road all week, he would have to make a big effort to file.

I am wishing you the best.

Jean,

yes it seems our WH's are being very stupid and making some very bad choices. I myself have been trying to figure out how he is going to file with being one the road so much.

I do know one thing with me filing LS monday its going to make him think, especially when he realizes he is going to have to pay more money than he though.

I don't expect him to like wake up or anything but I do believe its going to be a shock to him and make him see I am not playing this game anymore. From there who knows what he will do. He may find a way to take the time off to file. But if he thinks it will change anything money wise I think he will be mistaken.

One thing is for sure he will never be able to say I am the one who gave up and lay all of the blame at my feet when he finally does get it someday.

I wish you the best as well Jean.... WE will make it I have faith in that no matter what our WH;s do

Hurting -

I am so glad to read that you decided to go back to the LS. I was trying to back in your thread to see what made you change your mind.....I see where you said it just wasn't in your heart to do the D right now.

I am proud of you for staying composed at the bowling alley. That must have been hard. Hey, and him giving you some money was very good.

Kimberly

Kim,

Yes it was good he gave me some money but still not enough but he at least did something.

it still galls me to know end to know the OW was sitting in th ecar hiding from me. Stupid wench and stupid WH. Just goes to show how afraid they are for me to come face to face with her.

I am so hurt and angry right now I really don't care what happens, I am at the point i want them both to pay for this. Him for even doing this and her for allowing herself to become part of this.

But I do know my day will come and they will both pay in one way or another..... And Iwon't have to be the one to make them pay..... They will destroy themselves with their own selfishness and uncaring attitudes.

You are right Hurting, they will have to pay financially. My WH is about to feel it. I have been thinking a lot about my own finacial sitch and have almost come to the decision to get a 2nd mortgage for me only and leave WH out all together. He has made the choice of OW, a selfish choice. I cannot help him financially and am seeing that I really just need to look out for myself.

I have been viewing this as a selfish act on my part. A hateful or vindictive act. I have to face the facts that WH is not looking out for me at all(although he claims to be with the $$ sitch)

Sorry, didn't mean to write so much about my sitch. It's just that you sharing your story has opened my eyes to the above.

I know you are hurting right now...... I wish that we could just snap our fingers, go back in time and have a "do-over". Knowing what we know now, and doing the MB things to have a happy M.

Kim

Kim,

No problem you say what you need to. Thats we are all here to help each other and learn.

I sure don't want to see anyone in the sitch i am in but I see it in Jeans story and possibly your if you don't do something and hold him accountable.

I waited way to long to make my WH accountable. I tried to be resonable and trust him to do the right thing. Well see were that got me, now I have to play catch up because of his selfishness.

I like you didn't want him to be mad or hate me and he kept giving me hope so I let it all go. Well no more I have to do what I have to and if he gets mad so be it. If he hates me so be it I can and will survive it. In fact I think I will survive it all better than him when its all said and done.

I won't be the one broken and eaten by guilt someday he will be. I will always be able to say I did everything I could to make this work and I took the high road. I still have some hope we can work this out but if he continues down this path it will fade quick....

I know what you mean about the do overs I have thought it daily.....

Dear Hurting,
Those words are what gives every b/s the reason to hang on, in hopes that one day they could bring the man he used to be back.

I hope things get better for you.
((Hurting))

Thank you Kd for your kind words.....

For now that man is lost and in deep hiding and I have to face the fact he may never escape. I do have hope but its getting a little harder each day to keep it.

Things will get better of that I am sure. I believe that once I get the finances taken care of my healing can truly begin and the stress will become less for me.

I think my stress will lift but his will just become worse. I can't imagine what it will be like for him to support two households but it looks that is what will happen. I have no idea what kind of money he will be reqiured to pay but one thing for sure every dollar I get is one less for him and OW to spend on this A. Sucks to be them ....

IMHO you s/b going bowling more often. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Y? B'cuz then the OW will have to keep sitting in the car.

Yea, surround yourself each time you go bowling with lots of friends or studlike support. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Have fun and let the WS wonder what you are up to. Involve the kids....do stuff with multiple families....this will put more on the alert about the OW and maybe make the bowling alley off limits to the stinky broad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Just a note...

To kim...I love ya. Know you're hurting..

But I want to clear this up!

You said you'd wish you could go back in time and blink stuff away and do MB'ing and save your marrige..

With WS...MB DOES NOT MATTER TO THEM. You can affair proof YOUR side of the M all you want to...and do YOUR part to have a happy one.

I am one such poster here who did not have a bad marriage...was good...and SF and nothing that would raise any warning sign.

But my xwh did it anyway.

Some people have personalities and characters that allow themselves to become addicts and cheaters. Some people do not.

How to fully 100 percent affair proof a marriage?

You can't really. Nobody can. Why? You cannot...CANNOT CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON!

I want all here struggling thru adultery and or a separation or pending divorce to understand this...you can't beat yourself up over it.

Now if you're a nag, refuse cooking, housework, and do not communicate and could care less about kids...then we have certainly YOUR issues you need to deal with. Men, if you aren't trying to provide for your family, think personal hygeine is optional, and don't know your kids....then we have certainly YOUR issues to deal with.

Unless you're in a sexless marriage with many of the above characteristics...likely you're in a M that is just become routine. Something that happens to all of us if you're married longer than say five years.

It is the lack of danger, excitement, etc that causes affairs imho...and those with addictive personalities lose their minds when the affair adrenaline rush comes their way.

This is my theory and I am sticking to it!

Peachy,

Good theory and I must agree with it. I believe thats what happen with us we became routine and no excitement aymore. yes the last year or so before things had a lot of stress and some ignoring and depression on my part but not to the point this should have happened. I still did the wifely things, cooked, cleaned, and had SF...

The one thing they may excitement now but that to will fade in time and life will become routine again. So it becomes same problems just diffrerent partner, who more than likely won't hang around because the excitement is gone. No true commitment or love is there to see them through it.

Stupid, stupid WS's...... when will they learn ?

Hurting,

How are you doing today?

And how is DD Hurting2 doing? I know she was rejected by her dad when she wanted to see him, or he said he didn't know if he could see her on this weekend? Was she able to spend some time with him?

Lady