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It is so comforting in a weird way to be reminded that my WH is so textbook. Yesterday, he was yelling at me because I have forced him to go see a lawyer, why was I pushing him when all he asked me for was time?? (I have not retained a lawyer or filed any paperwork, the only way I am pushing him is because I keep up the exposure-like a divorce is going to cool the exposure stuff off??)
Don't freak out Hurting. Everytime I hear my WH screaming at me, it just reminds me how lost and confused he is. They are just like toddlers throwing a fit in the aisle of the grocery store, not scary, just an inconveniance to have to remind them of boudaries.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Believer,
I hope your right. I never wanted this to go like this. He is really angry about this.
Oh yeah and he said to SIL and know I have to pay BS'S attorney fees to....
He is not a happy camper right now....
I hope his anger blows over .... I can just about imagine the conversation between him and OW about now.... I bet I am the biggest B around ......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I hope his anger blows over .... I can just about imagine the conversation between him and OW about now.... I bet I am the biggest B around ...... Oh yeah, can't you imagine the conversation between WH and OW. "Can you believe that while I was shacked up with you, my WIFE has the nerve to file papers against me" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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lady,
Supposedly he got this info from the attorney he wants to hire.
He told SIL that Steve told him all of this. I have no clue how this other attorney would even have any knowledge of anything. I have told no one whats in those papers. My only guess is that maybe Steve was in the court while the papers were being filed and saw them.... They were just filed yesterday.... And everything he said was wrong from who my attorney is to what the papers say.....
Why does he want my attorneys name so bad? Does he think he can call them and get info?
He told DD not to tell me he was asking questions , she told him not to aske her because she does not want to be in th middle of this. He told her well you will be in the middle of it because this is going to go through court and you will be a character witness. What the ****** is that suppose to mean? Is he going to try and make me look bad?
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 10/26/05 07:36 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Supposedly he got this info from the attorney he wants to hire. No way, how could that be. I think someone close to you told him that stuff. Even though he has all info wrong. He will see the papers soon. I only hope he will be there Saturday when they arrive now. I was hoping he wouldn't find out they were coming.
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Lady go back and read my post above yours!!!!! I added something to the bottom of it
I have no idea who it could be.... I am keeping things to myself from now on.....
I don't think he will be able to make me look bad but still he didn't need to know...
Last edited by hurtinginokla; 10/26/05 07:38 PM.
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Is something wrong with his job, he's been in town 2 days, does that seem odd?
I agree he is just throwing a tantrum, Hurting. Treat it as though he is a little child, and ignore the behavior. He is losing "control" now." You are standing up for yourself and the children. Usually he is the one in control, and now he's not. Don't be scared and don't feel guilty.
Lady
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If this is his attorney. How could an attorney give him so much wrong info. It doesn't sound right.
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He told her well you will be in the middle of it because this is going to go through court and you will be a character witness. This is a bunch of crap. I have never heard of a character witnesses in a L/S court!!!! And anyway....a judge would be mad in any court for a parent to coerce a child against another parent anyway. Don't even listen to this bolognie, he is only trying to intimidate and manipulate you. And he needs to leave DD alone and out of it!! I wish you didn't have to know anything he said! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> It's all crap, don't believe any of it!! Lady
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I don't think anythign is wrong with his job. He was in the truck yesterday , he probably was picking up loads from the sheet rock plant here.
Well I don't know if this attorney has taken his case or not.
I know all the info he has is wrong except for the part of paying for attorney fees.
I really don't know how he found all of this out.
And now he is telling DD she will be a character witness. What the heck. Does he not realize this will hurt him w ay more than me.... After all he is the one who is having an A and moved out..... I just don't get it ...
Sounds to me like he is determined to get this divorce no matter the cost to him...
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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lady,
I believe he is going to file the divorce and thats what he is refering to with witness's.
My mom seesm to think he is trying to scare me into backing off. She said he is mad because you finally took a stand and now is he is trying to scare you into giving up.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I agree!!! He is just freaking out right now. Didn't think you had it in you to stand up for yourself like this. He is just grabbing at straws & saying things that he can't back up.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005 Married 16 Years DS age 8 6 months Plan A Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery. 2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out. Plan B for my sanity "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Kim,
I hope thats the case. I don't know he is pretty angey right now. He may file out of spite now......
Well if he does nothing I can do about it.... I just don't want this to get dirty .....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Hurting,
I was surprised SIL entertained the phone call with him. Just tell her if it happens again, please don't ask you any questions he is asking. She should have stayed out of it, like she said she was doing before. She should have just said to your WH, "I will not ask her questions for you?" But...good thing you stood and didn't answer anything.
Just don't say anything to DD, SIL, or anyone before court. Stay plan B about the LS to everyone, it may make him back off some, if no one is entertaining his questions.
Lady
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Lady,
Thats is what I will do.
I really think now this has pushed him to the point he will go for the divorce. Just to prove a point.
I don't want that to happen but what choice do I have.
He is trying so hard to be right and justified in all of this. He is so fogged I really don't think he will ever come out of it. This seems to have pushed him further in into it....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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He's just angry right now Hurting. No telling what he will do. I don't think he knows what to do!!
I am just angry he is now treating DD like this, when he hasn't even lifted a finger to see her in 3 weeks going on 4. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
I pray to God... He will keep your WH away from her through all of this!! May the angels come and protect her from him.
Lady
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lady,
I know DD has now been drug back into this. I have done well in keeping her out for the last few eeeks. I have said nothing to her about anything and then he is going to question her and make her think she has to go to court.
when all of this crap started I really never believed it would go this far. I was neive enough to think he would come to his senses and not throw away our whole life together. How stupid was I?
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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when all of this crap started I really never believed it would go this far. I know...no one ever believes it will. But you are going to be fine! Thanks to WH he pushed you to do this, no fault of your own. Now he can bearrrr ( and growl) with his own anger at OW. Lord knows the anger, pain, and tears you have gone through. While he live his "delusive adulterous happy life" You deserve everything! And the best thing to tell DD is this.... If Dad talks about this divorce to her, tell her to tell him that that is between you and him and the court from now on. No discussions of any of it. Tell her if he would like to talk about a relationship with her then fine, nothing else. Does DD come here and read your thread? Lady
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Lady,
I don't think she does. In fact she has not even asked about anything anyone on here has said.
But you know I never thought of her reading this. But I don't think she does. The info WH has was not even info I posted here.
I never said anything about him not paying money or who my attorney is or anything.
Geezz now I have to figure out a way to keep her oof here just in case. I never even thought of that.....
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46 Married- 24 yrs 3 children 15,19,22 2 grandsons D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away WH living with OW since July 05 WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05 Divorced granted June 28, 06
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lady,
Supposedly he got this info from the attorney he wants to hire.
He told SIL that Steve told him all of this. I have no clue how this other attorney would even have any knowledge of anything. I have told no one whats in those papers. My only guess is that maybe Steve was in the court while the papers were being filed and saw them.... They were just filed yesterday.... And everything he said was wrong from who my attorney is to what the papers say..... Many attorneys obtain a list of filings from the Clerk of Courts and, then, contact the person against whom the case is filed to solicit their business. Technically, the Rules of Professional Conduct prohibit this, but attorneys get around it by not actually soliciting the business but, rather, by "advising" the person suit has been filed against them and they need to protect their legal rights. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> That's probably how he found out. The amusing part is, if you live in a large county, chances are he'll get a good number of these solicitations...usually, the really good lawyers don't take this approach to find clients, so that may tell you something. Regards, Brit's Brat
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