I am here..... I just don't know what to think.....

DD said he had a lot of paperwork with him. He was dressed up so I do believe he is seeing an attorney....

I still can't believe he is saying him and OW have never had sex.... Whatdoes he think this will accomplish????

To say he told me that just to piss me off.... Why say such a thing to me... I know they have had sex. If not why would he even be with her after all this time. You can't tell me they are just roommates.... Gezzz he could have moved in with his sister or mom instead of doing this....

Does he really think a judge will believe him that no sex has occured????

This is so crazy ...... I can't take any more of it .....

I just want this over.....

When he gets like this he blows steam and the nwithdraws and becomes quiet.

He will rant and rave a lot and then back away.Thats how he handles stress....

I can only imagine what is happening with him right now... He is grasping for straws..... Trying anything to make himself look good.....

I hope if he is seeing an attorney they are honest with him and tell him he stands a snowballs chance in ****** of not having to pay me Cs and alimony.....

Of course who knows what he will tell them about me to make me look bad.....

stay dark...keep kids out of his self created mess and spare them his drama.

don't worry what or how he'll do it.

Lemme tell you. a divorce or a separation is a piece of paper in legalese that to me is just paper.

You spent time to create a family and some paper can't destory it...but a ws can.

I wonder why people bother with the legal separations...

I honestly sweetie, feel you're trying to "shock" him into repentance. but he's going off the deep end.

note carefully wh's words to daughter and telling her about his intimate life with ow...the "no sex" part...a judge will find that hysterical. but it is SAD for your kids...they don't need to be in middle anymore.

legal sep is a legal purgatory..you're not quite in heaven...but much closer to ******.

when my xh broke into my home, he was not jailed for full time and did not get charged with breaking and entering..why? b/c we still were legally married.

there are certain loopholes you will find in being separated vs. divorced. I feel the law enforcement is much more helpful to the divorced women as far as protection goes also.

and yes, a good attorney can also drag out a divorce ifyou're really trying to buy time...

also,, do not listen to anything wh says thru kids...it's a plan b with he said/she said going on with kids as intermediaries...don't do it.

and if your wh wants help finding pay stubs, anything...let him have to go to bank and pay for the info. or have it subpoenae'd...don't help him. this is plan B.

we know you love him...but you don't love HIM...you love the man you married...not a WS

Thats right, he could have moved in with mom or SIL.

And no, I don't believe a judge will believe that. But do you have to have proof, like pictures or something? Now you got me wondering. Anyway, every lie he tells is only worse on his own soul. Please don't worry. Your lawyer will help you with everything. Don't let WH intimidations get to you this weekend.

his new stance on "no sex" is completely laughable.

yea...they're just "roomates" and he couldn't have possibly found a male roomate to live with.

he has less than a snowball's chance in hades my dear. let the lunatic rant...just don't let him do it near you. let the ws see light of day...

and let a judge say to the man"if you think I am gonna believe you are not sleeping iwth this woman...and did all you did that is documented here from your wife, then you must think me the dumbest man ever serving on any bench in this country."

he will get a nice lecture from judge...i hope.

No I have no concrete proof of anything. I just know what he has told me.

But come on you can't tell me he has lived with her all this time an no sex involved. I know my H and his sex drive.

He stopped by his moms when he left here and told them all he was going through with the divorce. So now its just a matter of time I guess.

So without proof of any sex I guess the adultry won't stand in a court of law. DS did stay out there one weekend long time ago and knows they slept in the same bed but that is it. He saw them being kissy kissy and all but that means nothing.

But even so just the fact he lives with her should mean something. No matter what though he did walk out and leave me and the kids. So alimony and CS sould not be compromised should it?

I guess it won't be long now and I will be a divorced woman once he files.... In okla it does not take long.... the only thing is he would have a six month waiting period before he could marry.....

I guess I habe known deep down inside this was going to happen but was to afraid or stubborn to admit it....

What a mess my life is now.....

hurtin, you shouldn't fret about this at all. First off, almost all WS' threaten divorce when you interfere with their fantasy. It means nothing. Most never follow through. Not that it makes any difference, but we have success stories here of couples who reconciled AFTER a final divorce. This latest development is meaningless, hurtin, don't let it distract you. It is just part and parcel of an affair.

And hopefully you understand that no judge in the world [except maybe a silly yankee judge <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />] is going to believe your H didn't have sex. The judge will be insulted if he tries to tell that bald faced lie.

Just calm down, everything will be fine. The more upset your H the more reality is intruding into his fantasy.

Hurting, I wish you could have left early today for the whole weekend! You didn't need to hear all of his drama.

I can't believe he announced this stuff to his mother. I thought his mom wasn't allowing him there and didn't want
to see him. His mother is probably upset now too.

He is just ranting...raving. Throwing his fits. Attention seeking behavior. Pay him no mind right now.

Hurting I hope you are going to be alright tonight? Is someone there with you? Can you go somewhere for a cup of coffee or something, just to get out of the house for a little bit?

Lady

Mel,

I don't believe he is bluffing I do believe he will go through with this divorce, he seems so determined.

I know things can change and I do know even if we divorce things could still work out. But he is so damned sure of himself, I don't think he will ever admit fault even if he see's it.

I have no idea how upset he may be or if he is at all....

I do believe he told DD that knowing she would tell me and he knows it would upset me. Why can';t he just leave the kids out of this mess he caused?

It just makes me want to call him and et him have it.... I am so tired of this crap....

He needs to fall and fall hard ....... I do believe that no judge will believe his stupid claim but without proof it is hearsay.... I am sure OW will lie for him as well.... But as long as I get what I need for now to survive I will be ok.

I do wonder if he will give me any money between now and court. If he dosn't wouldn't that make him look even worse?

I would think if he has a attorney they would tell him to continue to give me money until court. At least that would make him look like he was doing the right thing.....

Lady,

I have to go to work at 10 tonight. I am not going anywhere until tommorow morning.

supposeldy WH is coming by here tomorrow to get his tires from the yard. I need to be gone before he shows up. His mom told him to come get them out of the yard. Does not seem to matter that I have asked them not to have him come over here..... She is so concerned with the tires being here. So I will be gone and have the house locked up tight.....

Well his mom only lives 7 houses away so he stopped unannounced. He just wanted to tell her he is going through with the D. She told him she did not want to hear anymore about it. She was not happy he showed up. Something tells me know he is going to try and weasal his way back to her and try and get the upper hand there....

Have you ever noticed how many times we hear this every week around here? I am going to say about an average of 2-3 times. The BS comes here and swears that their WS is different, they are really hardheaded and they "mean it." You know how many times it really happens? ...........................................................................................................I am still thinking. Oh yeah! Gramm's W did file for divorce. That is one, but I had to think hard. Ok, so one example I can think of. I can't think of any others, but I can think of SEVERAL WSs who made this claim and never followed through, it is sooo commonplace.

But, like I said, it matters not if he files for D. It does not mean the end. It is only part of the process and does not represent a bad omen or even anything to be alarmed about.

When is your court date?

Hang in there, Hurting...

This is nothing new or unexpected....

More of his same old WH script...

The court date for my LS is Dec. 9 .... that was the soonest date the judge had.... So I still have about one month to suffer through with the money thing....

I wonder if he files if they will do both the same day?

You guys I am really scared now..... I never wanted this and I feel like he is doing all of this to get back at me now for filing these papers.....

My world is falling apart here so fast now.....

Can you take a video camera and tape it for us when your H stands before an Oklahoma judge and tells him he "never had sex" with the OW? That would be worth a million bucks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

hurting, there is nothing new here to be scared of. First off, your H has not filed anything. Secondly, even if he does, it means nothing. It doesn't mean you are divorced and doesn't change your chances of reconciliation one bit.

Yeah that will be one for the books for sure Mel...

I can't believe those words came out of his mouth.... I can't believe he thinks ayone would believe it ....

Trust me...he has already fell and falling harder. Too sad for his family.

I don't believe a judge will believe his claim of "no sex" either, quite ridiculous. Maybe that is why he is looking for a place to live also. I wonder if he doesn't want to be seen living at OW's...just a thought.

I'm glad you have to work tonight, it will take your mind off of the mess.

Let's think of something positive....

Lady

What has he done? All he has done is passed gossip to your D, probably in the hopes she would tell you. He probably did it to get you back or to rile you into contacting him.

Boy, I've known quite a few of those!!! Sorry for the brief threadjack - Okay, back to our regularly scheduled posting....

BB