I know Mel.....

I just feel like he is trying to hurt me more so I will bow down to him and beg him not to do this.....

I will not beg him not to ..... I will stay strong here and act like I am doing ok.. while i am dying on the inside.....

I will not let him see me fall apart.....

good girl! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well as far as I know he has done nothing, but he did tell DD he had been to the attorney and she said he had a bunch of papers in the car.....

Maybe not filed yet but something tells me it is going to happen....

thats ok.

If he does I will not react in any way..... I will not call him or let him know it bothers me.....

Hurting - I don't know about the laws where you live, but in California, if they are living together, they are committing adultery. I hope you laugh in his face if he tries to run this one by you.

I still think he is coming home. In fact, I'm quite sure. Hang in there and stay dark.

Believer,

I don't know the laws either but it sounds to me like if you live with someone like that it would be considered adultry.

I can't believe you still feel he will come home... I am losing more hope each and everyday....

I am staying dark, I have to for myself now..... I can't handle seeing him at all...

hurting, just let us hope for you. You seem to think this is hopeless and we think it is very hopeful. I am not being overly optimistic, but just realistic based on my experience around here. There is nothing here that would lead me to believe it is hopeless at all. I have seen much worse than this come back to full reconciliation.

I am praying for that Mel, just right now I don't see it...

I know he is following the script pretty good for a WS.

I do hope he is squirmming about now .... I don't really think he has a clear idea of what all this is going to be like. I think for now he is living for the momnet. He seems to say and do things on the spur of the moment...

After all this time of saying the D word and doing nothing. The min. I do something he scrambles to get an attorney and try and turn things around.

He all of a sudden isn't having sex with OW .... I guess he figures I have told the attorney I wanted adultry used a my grounds for LS.

He is scrambbling to make himself look good now. Grasping at straws for sure.... He just needs to realize no matter what he says or does he walked away not me, and he is going to have to pay either way.....
Wonder how OW is handleing all of this drama? She claims not to like drama ..... lol

Hurting I hope you feel better tonight. Have a good night at work. Don't Worry! Just try to ignore the falactaries of WH....he is out of his WH mind. He found this week you are not playing, so he has turned into a big bad bear!! You have become so much stronger, Hurting. I have admired how far you have come. Don't let WH set you back.

Lady

I bet they won't be having any FUN tonight!!

lady,

I will do my best not to fall backwards... I am trying very hard to stay strong and not cave in to him.. You are the second person who has said they admire how far I have come in the last 2 days. My IC said the same thing.

DD just told me that she knows her dad will be sorry one day for all of this.

In fact she told him I said she had to be in by midnight. He said well then you need to do it. He said show your mom repsect. She laughed and said who is he to talk about showing you respect when he is doing what he is.

I told her see how he talks out of both side of his mouth. He is one confused and pissed off man right now and not sure what he is doing .......

I will have a good night at work, it will help me focus on something else ...... Still got an hour and a half before I have to be there.....

Maybe your WH is using the "clinton" defense....as in ..."I NEVER had sex with that woman." Oh that? That Mr. Judge is NOT really sex.

Hurting, if you get a PI for a night or a day...you can document them living together and doing things a married couple does...and sleeping in same domicile. He could easily get a male roommate or his own apartment if he was "not having sex" with anybody...

It is easy to prove. You show cell records...daughter's written record (legal) and done at attorneys of seeing them kiss...and then have photos from PI. Or anything else you can dig up. It is way easy to prove affair if you just sit back....don't get too emotional about it and just think.

Who cares what the WS says! They all do the darndest things. My xh says over and over to me that is new W is wonderful! that he is SOOOO HAPPY...and much happeir than with me!

It is all a lie! If the man was so happy with this "wonderful" woman...why is he cheating on her and never been faithful one millisecond since knowing her? Why is he still hiding and hoarding my wedding ring? Why does my phone now ring daily from my xh? I cannot seem to go a day or night without an email from him about something...has to be something...or a call...or a request for a "face to face" where we "sit down and talk" about my DS when our DS is asleep upstairs?

Trust me...the angry WS is a good thing! plan b is working! And all of them spout stuff like this...they hate the bs...they will file...they will get the kids...you will get nothing..etc. Even after a horrendous divorce like mine, I still got cs and alimony. Not much mind you, but with all his money to fight me and my little bit I had to work with, I consider my fight a success.

Fully expect the ws and op to love bust like mad. It will be soon that they will begin the slow implosion that happens to affair relationships after "light of day" has hit them...they are now out in open trying to create the illusion of "legitimacy".

Oh wow...

I just had an EPIPHANY!

WHY IS THE WS KEEPING AND MAKING OW STAY IN CAR? HE IS HIDING HER SO THAT HE CAN TRY TO PROVE THIS STUPID DEFENSE OF "I HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH THAT WOMAN"...

wow. that was wild!

sometimes these things just come to me...

Oh Mimi my friend ... .I hope they are miserable.....

I can't imagine what OW would say to him. I am sure alot of BS bashing going on about now.....

Would her bashing me be considered a LB to him? Or is he so mad now he would not care?

Just curious ....

Well Peachy,

I don't think I need a PI. first off DS spent one weekend out there with them. He knows WH lives there.

DD has seen them together at bowling alley and kissing.

I have the bank statement with her address on it that he had changed to out there..... How much more do I need?

The process server will be serving him at her home....

Pleanty of our friends have seen them together ... As far as pics go I myself could drive out there in the middle of the night and take pictures of his truck parked there....

So its going to be kinda hard for him to deny living there....

I hope they start LB'ing soon and blow themselves out of the water.....

remember...

the Ws and OP have a singular enemy...YOU>

When YOU stay out of their affair....they will begin love busting like mad and implode on one another in time.

I know...i see this happening every day with my xh and his ow/w.

And yes...my staying away has helped this along...knowingly or unknowingly on my behalf.

it is the revelation that fantasy is just what it is. fantasy. real life and fantasy just do not work. when she begins laundering his clothes, having morning breath, seeing each other day in and day out,...and NO SHARED HISTORY...this will happen. Your WS will look and see what he had...and miss at that time the familarity of his once good life...

Trust me....this happens! even in the most unlikely of situations.

Let the man give you any piece of parchment he likes to. You just do the right thing and do not passively or actively enable their affair...do not feed their affair by becoming the glue that binds them together.

when they are united against you they are???this is a quiz???

they are then united.

when you are dark...they focus on other things...and then reality sets in quicker! no common bond to fight against...just them...and their fantasy morphing into everyday life....but not like everyday life...there are heaping lies! broken families...and outsiders viewing them in a negative fashion...and a new stupid affair relationship firmly built on a foundation of pure lies.

can you guess what will happen next?

Well for now they have a common enemy Me!!!! they no have all of this to talk about and can agree on how mean I am and how i am trying to take all he has...

I wish I knew what was next Peach....

Hurting,

Could your WH just be applying for a loan? You need pay stubs and bank statements for that. He has to pay for a lawyer and this "house" huh?

Don't worry about anything he says to shake you. When my SIL took my brother to court, He told the juge, "Just friends".. Judge said inappropriate relationship, and my SIL got 60 % of house. My brother was NOT living with OW.
They see soooo much of this crap its sickening. They are just not that gullible ! He and OW are grasping at straws. DON"T let them shake you. Look at the junk he babbles for what it is. GARBAGE They are trying to rattle you. You will not allow this stuff to seep into your head. DON'T listen to it. When someone starts talking about WH... close your ears.

The one who keeps a clear mind will do best.
Hugggs to you hun... You ARE doing GREAT!

Thank you NY, I needed to hear that I guess.

Oh I doubt he is applying for a loan. He tried that when he first moved out and his credit was not good enough....
I do believe he has seen a lawyer but that fine he needs one whether he files or not. Since i have filed LS.

I wish I felt like I was doing great.... I am holding it together here by a thin thread.....

But I will be ok..... and staying very dark now ....... I won't let him rattle my chain.....

Every time WH tells DD or friend or SIL or MIL anything, it is with the sole purpose of getting back to you. He knows this, he relies on this. And ya know what? It works! You listen. They probably even tell him your reaction. Maybe not intentionally, but he knows. See he is still pushing your buttons, even in plan B. If he wants to scare you, he talks about filing. If he thinks you are slipping away, he talks about still loving you. You have to step back and look at how he is still manipulating you.
I betcha he is trying again for a loan. He is getting desperate. OW is trying to pull his strings.