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Joined: Sep 2005
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Hurting,

I have no words of wisdom. You sound pretty good to me. I just wanted to send you a big hug (((Hurting)))


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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Jean,

Thanks for the hug, I appreciate all of the support.

I hope things for you are settling down a little. I know its rough.... Take Care of you and DD'S (((( Jean))))


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 56
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I have been reading your story with great interest. I am in a similar situation and I am praying your WH as well as mine wakes up and realizes what they are about to lose. I have begun to regain some hope for my situation through reading about yours. Thanks.


Me: BS 43 WH: 42 major mid-life crisis OW: 22 M 25 yrs DD 24 DS 19
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Let your MIL do what she needs to do.

My In-laws complete support truely had a big impact on my husband's decision to come home.


~ Pain is a given, misery is optional ~
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Newlyhopeful,

I also hope and pray both our WH'S wake up and see whats happening as well. You will be in my prayers.

Bramble,
I understand MIL needs to say her mind, it just scares me that she may confront OW and tell her all of the lies WH has told and that he is lying about the d and seeing and speaking to me. I don't know how he would react to it. But I guess thats not my problem is it?


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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Well how much more can my life get screwed up. Today was one of those days you wished you could just hide.

First off my MIL was backing out and hit my car and messed up th front fender pretty good. Then about 9 pm tonight, I get up to go see why my lights went out in the living room, as I get to the kitchen I see the orange glow. My kitchen was on fire. One of th kids put a pot of oil on the stove and left. It had caught fire. It was burning pretty good, now the cabinets and walls by the stove are burned. I was talking to my mom on yahoo and she heard me screaming the house is on fire and coughing. Now my mom is in Va. she was freaking out she thought I was by myself so she called my MIL who called the fire dept. I got the kids out and got the fire extg. and got the fire out. Fire dept checked the attic to make sure all was ok. So now i have some major work to do on the kitchen. clean , piant and replace stove hood and probably sand down cabinets and redo them.

After all of this was over I went to MIL to call my mom and assure her all was ok. When I came back DD asked me if I called her dad. I was upset and crying and just lost it... I told her why would I call him, he does not care about us or he would be here. She said he does to care mom, I was hysterical and just told her if he cared he would have never left us to fend for ourselves like this. I LB"ED my DD real bad. I told her I am not calling your dad for anything , if you want ot tell him you go right ahead but I don't want any help from him. Anyhow I had to go to work which I was late for. So now tomorrow I need to apologize to DD.

I just don't know how mcuh more I can take, I have a husband who walked away and is boinking some bimbo and could care less about us, my car is now messed up and almost lost my home to a fire. Thank God I was here or who knows what could have happened. The kids had gone to their rooms and would have never seen it until to late if at all.
I will be so glad when this year is over and I pray next year will be better. I just can't do this anymore, I feel so lost and alone....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,724
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OMG, Hurting.

What a terrible thing to happen. But you know what?

YOU ARE A HERO. You saved your home and your family. What an amazing woman you are.

And you did it without WH. I know how much you want him. But this proves beyond doubt that you don't need him.

I admire you so much - look how far you've come. I'm so sorry you feel so alone, though.

Give your DD a big hug, and try to stay dark - when WH hears what happened he might well be over there like a shot!

Thinking of you.

Alph.


Me, BS 37 Him, WXH (Noddy) 40 DD13, DD6 Married 14th August 1993 D/Day 2nd April 05 Noddy left us 3rd April 05, lives with OW (Omelette) 28 Divorce final 6th July '06. Time wounds all heels... - Groucho Marx ...except when it doesn't. - Graycloud
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Wow Hurting, Thank God there was no more damage than that and that you and the kids are safe.

Sorry about the car, that was bad enough without throwing in a fire!

(((Hurting))) I know you are tired, I can completely relate. I am sorry this has gone on for so long. Hopefully you will get a break soon.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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Glad to hear all ok. I would have a talk to kids about putting oil on the stove and leaving it. Kids can help you with clean-up, fix-up.

You're outrage at DD was understandable. Yes, you could probably apologize to her for "over" reacting, but your feelings and anger (which is actually hurt) are legitimate and I wouldn't apologize to her for them at all.

The ole' saying "****** happens", certainly rings true. Your kitchen cabinets needed updating didn't they. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Take Care and don't overdo it trying to think you HAVE to get it all done. Slow and steady.


BS/47 FWH/42 Married 22 yrs Kids - S30,SD23,SS22 OC Born - 09/08/04 C with OC - SS It's an UPHILL CLIMB
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Wow Hurting...I'm glad to hear everyone is alright. I know it seems sometimes everything happens at once. I would like to know who left the oil on the stove...and I'd be yelling at that one....it could have been so much worse...thankfully it wasn't. Hopefully everything will be fixable without much cost to you.

Will MIL insurance be able to cover for the damage to your car.

Was there damage to her car?

Sometimes when things like that happen...it means big blessings are on the way, satan is trying to thwart them.
But the blessings are coming Hurting.

Lady

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I am so glad that you are OK and that the home damage is not too extensive (like destroying the kitchen, etc.). It doesn't sound as though you have smoke alarms. If not, get them. Usually the local fire department will provide them and even install them if you cannot afford them. This could have been a real tragedy. Your guardian angel is watching over you.

Well, I have to get ready for my dear daughter in law and grandson who are coming for the holidays. Blessings to you! KK

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Geesh, Hurting, when you think you're giving your all... you're asked to give more!

I am sooo sorry this is happening to you Hurting...

Hang in there....

I am glad nobody got hurt.

HUGS.


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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I haven't posted on your thread before hurting and I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

You deserve so much better. Try and stay strong!


Married 10 years, Legally Seperated Aug 2,2006
1 year of Plan A followed by 1 year of Plan B...
...now stepping towards recovery?????
BH 37(me), WW 35, DB 7 & DD 5
My Story
My struggle with an EA
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DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HONEST.

I'm glad you are ok. Your MIL's insurance will cover the repair costs to your car. Do you have rental car coverage with your insurance?

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I agree.

There is no need for you to apologize to your daughter..

What you said to her was RIGHT ON TARGET, IMO...

Like Mojo said: "It's the HONEST TRUTH..."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Thanks all of you for your support. I just feel so alone and like nothing is going to get better. I woke up this morning and went into my kitchen and just started crying looking at the mess.

I am trying to so hard to be strong and make it through all of this but I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I just wish I had someone to lean on and be there for me. Why can't my H see what is happening? Can't he see we as a family are just devestated by all of this? I keep wondering what did I do that was so bad to deserve all of this to happen to me?

As far as the car goes the insurance will cover the damage, I am going to try and clean up the kitchen and hopefully it is mostly smoke damage and I won't need to turn it into the inurance. By the time the deductable is paid I don't think the insurance will pay out much. I have to replace the stove hood for sure and maybe restain some cabinets and of course paint. Guess I have something to keep me busy for a while now. Funny part is I have smoke detectors and they didn't go off until after I saw the fire. Was not much smoke at first ,was after I hit it with the fire ext. the smoke got real bad. I thank God I bought that extg. I had never had one until last year and I decided to buy one. I now need to replace that to and believe me I will be doing that today. I was proud of myself I didn't panic, I actually took care of it then paniced when all was ok.

As for DD I have not had the chance to talk to her yet she was gone when I woke up. I feel bad for yelling at her, she just wanted her dad as a comfort I am sure. He is her hero and I guess she feels he could make things alright. I don't expect anything from him. He does not care and I guess I need to realize that.

Anyhow all is ok here and life goes on....


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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I hope you have smoke alarms in your home. That was scarey! My house burned down 15 years ago, and the aftermath took years to get over.

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Believer,


I have smoke detectors, they didn't go off until after I hit the fire with the fire ext. was not much smoke up until that time. Was really weird actually. I caught it in time for sure, but still have enough damage to clean up. But mostly it looks like smoke damage and the stuff from the fire ext. Its a mess for sure...


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,609
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Posts: 3,609
OMG as if things couldn't get worse. I just found out DD is pregnate.

I swear what can happen next. We just had an argument about her brother and how she was talking to me and stuff and she just blurted it out. I don't know what to do.... She says she found out a couple days ago.

She says she is leaving. Maybe tt would be the best for her to be with her boyfirend. I just can't do this anymore. She swore at me and told me F you and put her hands on me. I need her to leave. I am going to have my MIL call WH and tell him to come get her, he can deal with this. I can not do it...


BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,141
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(((((hurting))))))

When it rains it pours, doesn't it?

I don't have any advice, just want you to know I am praying for you and family.

Hang in there hon, deep breaths.

Try to step back from all of this mess and not react to it. Figure out what is healthiest for you before you make any decisions. You have a lot on your plate right now.

You have done such a good job, and you are WORTHY <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. Don't forget that.

Love in Christ,
Miss M


me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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