Eav,

You are so right this is torure at its very best. I can't stand this anymore. I want soemthing to happen and I know i can't force it but its driving me nuts.

A.M.,

Your probably right it would just lead to him getting another fix. I guess I am as bad as him by wanting my fix as well. This is all so frustrating , I just want to let him have it once and for all. I want him to hurt and I know thats not going to happen. Not yet anyway, I want him to feel the pain and anguish of all of this. Sounds kinda sick dosn't it? I would never want anyone to feel this pain but for some reason for him I want it. I want him to feel his life being torn apart and not knowing what to do , what to say........ I want him to suffer like I have , I want him to become humble and see what he has done.... I feel so selfish right now by wanting this. But would it actually make me feel better, I don't know? Knowing me if he ever got to that poinI would probably try and rescue him from it all, thats how I am ..... So many conflicting emotions right now.....

Ok this is getting stranger. You all know I told you WH says he was moving out of OW'S in Jan. and then said he was mad at her thats why he said it.

Well seems he told DS(15) the same thing. He told DS that he was going to get his own place after the first of the year and was moving the trucks. Now I know not to believe anything he says, believe only his actions. My question is why would he tell our DS this? I don't want DS to be let down like I was. I don' know what to say to DS on this. I want him ot be prepared in case this does not happen. How do I explain to him this could be all talk and not be disappointed if it does not happen. He told DS he was going to get a place here in town away from OW. I want to believe it just like DS does but I won't believe anything without actions. I just don't want DS to be disappointed and b ready in case its a lie.

Why does he tell my kids this stuff? Does he not realize they will be hurt by it if its lies?

Isn't it wonderful to be in Plan B?

I also want to do all these things -- still. Frankly, I don't trust myself talking to Jabba for that very reason.

That's why I love Plan B, even after divorce. I know I won't be talking to him. Whatever nasties I feel, I can keep to myself.

The only way I can take the high road is by keeping my mouth absolutely shut.

He can fall into a hole all by himself. And all I'm going to do is watch.

Hurting:

Tell your DS EXACTLY what you said above... you cannot believe one word that he says....



You're forgetting again...

You cannot ask yourself WHY your WH does stuff and expect to come up with a logical answer...

Remember..this is INSANITY..

Sorry, Hurting..

Mimi,

I know your right and I am getting used to the disapointment from him. I just hate that he lies to the kids as well. I know I have to let DS know that most of what his dad says is not truthful but I don;t want to look like I am putting his dad down.

I just wish he would keep his mouth shut and not say anything to DS about anything.

Maybe, just maybe, he knows that she could be evicted from her cushy welfare housing if he was caught "living" there - he's still in a fog, still protecting her feelings more than yours. Stay dark. STOP gathering info about him.

Hi Hurting,

I am with A.M. about PLAN B:--------------------------------
The only way I can take the high road is by keeping my mouth absolutely shut.
-------------------------------------------------------

PLAN B helps us not to LBust and so not be mad at ourselves!

It's hard...boy...is it ever hard!

So, Hurting, I think you can write anything you want to your WS if it will help you to stop thinking about him and let the 'moment' pass, just DON'T give it to him....

This holiday period is a real 'killer'painwise - like giving birth.

Am I glad we have this Board to come to!

Take care, Hurting.

I am staying dark, I am not giving him any letters or anything.

I did think about another planb letter but everyone has advised me not to. I guess this makes sense, I know he knows how I feel and what I want.

Luna your right this is just so hard. Harder than I ever would have imagined.

I am just venting here.... This is what I would love to say to my WH

Dear WH,

I know you think you have f ound someone who has turned your life around for the better. Well if you think you becoming a liar and a cheater is turning your life around for the better ,then I guess your right.

I for the life of me can't figure out how leaving a faithful wife who loves you and has stood by you for 24 yrs. is the right thing to do then so be it. The pain you have caused me is more than you will ever know.

OW is nothing to be proud of, she is nothing but a user and always has been. If you think back on the time we have known her and the men she has used why c an't you see your just the next in line. Oh yeah, I forgot your special and her soulmate. I wonder how many men she has said that too?

You think our kids and your family will eventually accept her into their lives with open arms. Well your wrong again. They may tolerate her buts about it.

One day WH you will realize what you have done and I really would not want to be in your shoes when that happens. The pain and guilt will be more than most people can handle. You have become someone I can't repsect or admire at this time. Your cahracter lacks a lot to be desired at this time. I remember the man you used to be and I admired that man and respected him. If you ever can find that man I could respect him again.

I still love the man I married but I don't love the man you are today. I still want the man I married but again thats not who you are today. Your just a shell of the man you used to be. You look like the man I married and you even have his voice but the soul inside the body is not the same. You have lost the true you somewhere and I wish to God you could find him again.

It makes me sad to see what you have become. You have become a liar and a cheater with no feeling for anyone but yourself. If this is the man you want to be then I can not in good faith be around you or speak to you . You have broken my heart for the last time WH, I am done with this selfishness and the blame being all laid on me.

When and if the day comes you can find yourself and truly feel remorse for what you have done, I will be willing to listen to you and see where we can go from there. Until then I am done..... please try and find the real man you are, find my real husband and the father of my children. He is so lost and needs to be found ... We miss him ....

Your wife ,

BS


Ok this is what I want to say but know I can't ..... I just had to get this off my chest.... I am so angry right now I could spit nails.....

Hurting -

I love this board. You know WH is going to have to answer to a higher power one day. You know God will deal with him for you. I hope you feel better and you KNOW you are doing the right thing.

Plan B is hard, and you are dealing with so much more too than just your WH. I know it's rough for you. Hang in there Hurting!!

Kim

Kim ,

thanks for the encouragement, I feel like some days I am going crazy.

This has been a heck of a coaster ride and I truly want off. Its slowing down alot but has not slowed enough for me to jump off yet.

I think once the holidays are over and I make it past that things will even out. I am just stressed with the holidays and my birthday being in a few days. Thanksgiving was hard so I am not sure how Christmas will go.

You take care and keep up the good work your doing.

Merry Chistmas

Hurting

Hi Hurting,

I read your letter to WH. Your right WH is so lost.

It's been a difficult road for you Hurting, the suffering has been enormous I know. But there will come a time when your heart is healed and you will know it's been healed. You don't see it now, but it will happen.

Look to the Lord for everything Hurting. He is your H now. He is the source that will get you through each day. Pray each morning that He will make it a good day for you. Commit H/WH into Gods hands.

May the Lord give you a smooth road, keeping you steady from now on, no more rollercoasters.

Blesssings,
Lady

Hi Hurting,

In reading your letter, like me, you are better off in PLAN B.... and venting here...

Take care, Hurting, keep taking deep breathes whenever you can....take it a minute at a time if you have to.... keep busy... we will get through the holidays like we have done everything else....

HUGS.

Thanks Ladies your both right things will get better and we will make it through the holidays just like we have made it though all of this horrid mess.


Merry Christmas to you ....

hello all,

I have decided to take a break from the boards for a few days or so. I feel like I need to get away from all of this and just work on me.

I will check in sometime after the holidays to check on everyone. I think I need time to process all that has happened and just give it all a rest. I sometimes think that all of this just overwhelms me and makes it harder to focus on what I need to do for me.

Thank all of you for the support and prayers. I will be praying for all of you and for you to find peace in your lives.

Merry Christmas to all ..... God Bless

Hurting

{{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}}

That's alright...Sometimes we need a break from here. As supportive as it is, it can also keep the wounds festering, and obsessing.... I think.

Pray...pray...pray. Let God Heal.


And, Merry Christmas from our home to yours!!

Sent With Love,
Lady

Be careful, Hurting...

I GOT INTO LOTS OF TROUBLE WHEN I GOT OFF THE BOARDS...

Actually, I broke PLAN B...BIG TIME...

I understand though...

JUST BEWARE...

MERRY XMAS to you...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Mimi,

Not to worry I don't plan on breaking plan b....

I will be careful, I just need a few days to think and refocus. I have 3 days in a row off christmas Eve, Christmas and the following Monday so I am trying to make some plans for those days. I just need to get away and try and forget all of this....

Hurting

Merry Christmas to you too Hurting and God Bless
La Shell

I'll be thinking of you...enjoy your Christmas and I really hope you throw yourself that holiday party you were talking about a while back. You deserve some JOY in your life!