Hello from CO.

Pay no attention to those dreams! Dreaming is the way for the mind and body to dispose of stress and anxiety in our lives. It is that simple. Your dreams are focused on the cause of your stress and anxiety. Nothing more.

Had dreams one time, very stressful work situation. I was running the objects of my stress over with my car when they came out of work. Long story short, they eventually went away when the stress decreased.

It has been a few tough days for you. They will subside some as you regain some clarity.

Sweetheart, I am so glad to see the house that satan built is coming crashing down. Just let it happen. It will. You are doing fine. WH may be blaming you, but trust me, he knows better. Why do you think he blames you? He can not yet look at himself for all this destruction. It is self preservation, nothing more. OW is starting to become the woman she is. He will slowly see this and the fight is on.

They will not last! You need to remain the best you.

BKarl,

Thanks for the insight. I guess the stress and being blamed for stuff has gotten me worked up again.

I hope this house of sin is crashing. Its something I keep praying for. Some days I think its happening but other days I wonder.

I am walking away from their lies and deceit. I am not partcipating in it... Anymore stuff comes up I will not comment or defend myself in any way .... Just let them stew in it by themselves. In fact the whole family has decided not to respond to any more of this nonsense .... His mom told him she does not want to hear anymore about OW or anything that happens. She told him do what you want I don't want to be involved in your affair anymore. Just remember OW will never be welcomed here.... Of course he got mad and left. He never called christmas day to wish the kids or his mom merry christmas. How sad is that ??? He is living such a lie and does not even see it .....

But we as a family is moving on and going to make life good for us. Hopefully someday he will want to join us....

Beautiful! When there is nothing around them to feed upon, they will feed upon themselves, and that my dear will be an ugly and distasteful meal for sure.

When everyone around them goes dark, there is nothing left for them that has any commonality. When you WH longs for even a few things from the way it used to be with his family, her fangs will show and he will see.

You see, his family is supporting you in this. They have no loyalty to him in this disgusting affair. He will bring his stress and craziness back to her and the fight will begin. She will know nothing else but to start bad mouthing all those he loves or loved at one time.

And this my dear, will be the start of the end.

I truly see how strong you are. Hang in there. I can see you can handle this for now. You know more than any of your limits.

Come to realize you will be blamed and accept it. You are not to blame and you know it. You know that as one of the most feeble attempts they have left. When that has been removed there is no commonality left!

My prayers today for you and yours!

BKarl,

I am trying very hard to hang in there....

We as a family have realized we can do or say nothing to change things. We have to let them self destruct on their own. I do believe in time without the family he will start to yearn for it and that will cause problems for them. He knows he will not be included in family things as long as he is with her. For now that seems not to bother him but it will sometime or another.

He keeps saying he is done with his family because they won't accept his descions. But I know deep down inside he does not really want that. It's his way of justifying again. Maybe he can and will cut his family off who knows but in the end it will be something he will regret the rest of his life. There is no one in the world worth losing your family over......

We will all be ok, we miss him but we are surviving without him. Life is moving ahead for all of us and he is stll stuck in his mess and he can't seem to find the way out of the darkness. I do feel sorry for him that he is so lost and can't see the way home......

Just got back from shopping with DD. Her dad got her a 125.00 gift card from Cato's so we went and spent it....

We stopped by Burger King to eat lunch then came home...

saw a few peeople I know , and they were saying how good I looked and asked how i was doing. I just said wonderful, I am feeling good and things are on the way up. I decided even if thts not how I feel at that moment thats going to be my answer to people. You know fake it till ya make it....
But today I do feel good, and I hope it keeps feeling good...

You done good Hurting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Inanutshell ..... its hard to be so cheerful sometimes but thats the only way I feel I can make it through this now.....

This has been going on for so many months now and i have felt like crap most of the time so now I have to make myself be cheerful and happy. In time it will be for real. And some days it is.....

I just wish WH would wake up, I just can't imagine doing like some here and living like this for years....

Some days I just want to give up because it seems the end will never come and he will be like this forever. But most days I still have faith and hope.... As misplaced as it may be to some people I still have it....

You know I keep reading Dazed's or shattered's sitchs and I see what a wonderful plana's they have done. Mine was very poor compared to theirs and I do wonder and worry maybe it was not good enough to attract him back and that planb is going to work against me. But I guess there is nothing I can do about now.... Let the chips fall where they may I guess.... No turning back now because even if I thought I could do it over WH would have nothing to do with it. He stays away does not even try to communicate. Sometimes I think planb is right up his alley.....

Oh well like I said nothing I can do about it now .....

Hi Hurting, Oh yes he does try to communicate, but he tries to communicate "trouble". He knows he can't call you on the phone (due to plan B, and he knows you are serious about it), so he tries to do his comunications through everyone else. Yes Plan B is right up his alley.

You are doing good Hurting. And those happy/joy feelings will come back, and you will know your heart has been healed.

Blessings,
Lady

Lady,

I appreciate your posts and thoughts. I know your right I will know when my heart has healed.

Yes he is doing nothing but communicating trouble. Makes no sense to me all these months he has pretty much not blamed me for little things that has happened, now its like no matter what happens its my fault.

Please don't take this the wrong way because I do enjoy hearing from you but I was just wondering what you think about the chances of WH ever doing the right thing? Please be honest with me about your feelings.

Again thank you for your prayers, you have no idea how much it means to me...


Hurting

It would NOT be a GOOD THING for him to try to communicate with you during PLAN B..

My FWH didn't try to communicate with me until the END..

He spent his time TRYING TO MAKE it with her..and IT FAILED...

You want them to spend as much time alone together as possible without your intervention...

That's how the A fantasy bubble bursts...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Remember he is FOGGY BRAINED..

Hurting,

Please try to stop trying to make sense of what he is doing...

The A will definitely end on its own....

Give it time..

My H tells me that he blamed me as a means of justifying the A to himself..

He now knows that it was WRONG but at the time he felt he had to do it..

You have to understand this as a CRAVING..DESIRE..just like your cigarettes..

How do you convince yourself to continue to smoke although it is not good for your health? I'm not kicking you for smoking. I'm trying to help you understand this...

Honestly Hurting, I don't know if he will or not. My feelings about it when I pray are blank, there isn't a yes or a no and I think they are blank because God knows it has to be WH decision to come back home. I truly hope and pray he will. I do think that he needs more accountability for his actions. DD has not helped by calling OW mom. He is taking none of you seriously, and notice most of the family is women. He needs some 2x4's from some good godly men and God Himself. I think he really needs to be shaken up bigtime, before he comes out of it Hurting. Let's pray he gets shaken up.

Blessings,
Lady

I know Mimi but after reading so many others peoples great plan'a's mine sucked big time.

But I did the best I could at the time. And now he is laying so much blame at my feet for such stupid stuff. More than he has since all of this started. I just don't understand why.

Plan B seems to be great for him .... It just makes me think I didn't do good enough in plan a....

Well life goes on I can't change anything now.... But all in all I am doing ok ....

Well Lady unfortunatley for us we are all women, his dad dieds in 1988..... No close family around and his male friends have already told him what they think and he has blown all of them away ....

Guess this is gonna hae to just play out ....

His PLAN B doesn't sound all that great to me..

Not a good PLAN B Hurting if you continue to know such much about his blaming of you...

Most importantly, you can't safeguard your love towards him, which is supposed to be happening in your DARKNESS, if you keep hearing about what he is doing and saying...

The continuation of communication between you two is a problem...

Mimi,

I see what you are saying. I justify the ciggs by saying they are stress relivers and not eating so much.

I believe the A will end ..... I guess I am just starting to get afraid and impatient.... Something I have tried so hard not to do ....

Let's put the focus back on yourself..and not on him...

How about painting..working on your artistic ability?

Yes, just commit him into Gods hands. Under WH condition, It's a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God. Hopefully God will shake him up some, and help him understand what he is doing is wrong, wrong, wrong, and come home not only to Him, but to you too.

Lady

Mimi,

I just don't know how to stop it .... I have asked for people not to tell me stuff, but mostly it has to do with the kids now. I guess they feel I need to know what is happening with concerns to the kids....

Oh I hae gotten me a sketch pad and done sme doodleing....

I pulled out some paints the other day but have not started yet. I am needing to get all the christmas stuff down and get the house back in order... I have started doing that but not done yet.

I have gone shopping the last 2 days and it felt so good to get out of the house and enjoy myself....

I am doing pretty good actually, it just makes me mad to be blamed for crap.....

I do have to work tonight after being off 3 days .... So getting back in to a routine will help....