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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30
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OP
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30 |
I haven't been on for a few days, and really need some support. I truly feel like I am ready to just give up on trying to get through each day. My WH, I guess I should call him by STBXH since he is divorcing me whether I like it or not, has turned into the "alien" that I have read about on here.
Every day it is a new hurt, a new step toward the divorce, a new lie that he is telling me.
He said he would not contact a realtor, and he did. He lies about when he has met with her, and he only wants to use someone HE knows.
He told me we would do this without lawyers, and made me promise not to get one, and then I find out he is in contact with a lawyer behind my back.
He lies about what he has taken from the house already.
He lies about when he is working, he lies about what he is doing.
He lies about what happenned between us to our mutual friends.
Now he is pressuring me to sign something that I will go forward with selling the house...
And NOW I have learned that he is out on the dating scene again...already has somoene leaving messages for him "to say goodnight". It sounds like it is new, and according to mutual friends, he just started going out and meeting people this last week, but of course I can't believe anything he says, and for all I know this has been going on for months- it is a different woman than ONS.... I could not be more crushed. I have never felt that feeling that I did when I heard that voice...
I have never felt so many emotions at one time. I love him, yet I hate who has become in these last 2 months. I miss him, and I don't ever want to talk to him or see him again.
I absolutely cannot restrain myself from reacting emotionally right now if I were to take his calls or responmd to his emails, so I am just ignoring them...I am thinking about No Contact, even changing email addresses and cell phone #'s to avoid communication with him. I feel like I just can't trust myself not to lash out at him, commit LB's etc.
HELP PLEASE, I am at my wit's end. I literally feel like I cannot survive this. Every day it is a new devaststing shock, a whole new heartbreak. What do I do now???????????
F/29
Married 8/03
WH's 1st PA 7/04 (ONS)
WH's 2nd PA/EA 9/05
He filed 9/30/05
D-day 10/8/05
WH ended things with OW, wanted to come home 2/10/06
Changed his mind again 2/13/06
Divorce Final 5/8/06
No children- one on the way when we separated
WH is engaged to OW, she's pregnant I hear.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30 |
F/29
Married 8/03
WH's 1st PA 7/04 (ONS)
WH's 2nd PA/EA 9/05
He filed 9/30/05
D-day 10/8/05
WH ended things with OW, wanted to come home 2/10/06
Changed his mind again 2/13/06
Divorce Final 5/8/06
No children- one on the way when we separated
WH is engaged to OW, she's pregnant I hear.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948 |
Laura, are you a religious person?
Also, have you read any books on affair-dynamics such as Harley, Dobson?
Have the two of you ever done MC in the past, or IC?
What IS your support network as far as personal friends or family in your RL (real life)?
Hugs, NTL
BW 43 me FWH 39 M 1992; DD 18. 13 OC 8-05 - no contact In recovery 8 years
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30
Member
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OP
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 30 |
[quote]Laura, are you a religious person?
Yes, but our families go to the same church, I am afraid to run into his Mom, etc...also I am ashamed to see the priest that married us, he wanted us to work through this so badly.
[quote]Also, have you read any books on affair-dynamics such as Harley, Dobson?
Yes, we read "Surviving An Affair"
[quote]Have the two of you ever done MC in the past, or IC?
Yes, we did MC for 14 months, now we are in IC
[quote]What IS your support network as far as personal friends or family in your RL (real life)?
Friends, family are here for me, but it is kind of like re-living it every time we talk- everyone is so mad at him, it isn't really helping that much...
F/29
Married 8/03
WH's 1st PA 7/04 (ONS)
WH's 2nd PA/EA 9/05
He filed 9/30/05
D-day 10/8/05
WH ended things with OW, wanted to come home 2/10/06
Changed his mind again 2/13/06
Divorce Final 5/8/06
No children- one on the way when we separated
WH is engaged to OW, she's pregnant I hear.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 948 |
NC is better than lovebusting communication, if you can't work yourself into a good Plan A I think.
But you should try. In IC, are you working out the things you have done to contaminate the marriage?
What did you learn from Surviving an Affair?
NTL
BW 43 me FWH 39 M 1992; DD 18. 13 OC 8-05 - no contact In recovery 8 years
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