This weekend was interesting. We hosted a concert here at the ballpark. A mutual friend of STBXWW and I, is dating a girl that wanted to see the concert. So, he asked if I could get tickets, which I was able to do. Saturday afternoon he came by my house to get the tickets and we talked. He has always been firmly in my corner in this ordeal, and as he is a Christian, we consider each other brothers in Christ.
He had taken a trip out to CA to see a mutual friend of all of ours and her husband. STBXWW had gone along. This took place in the latter part of August. While there STBXWW told everyone that her A partner had told her that he needed space as he needed to devote attention to his kids. Effectively pulling back from the relationship. STBXWW wasnt smart enough to realize that this is, as we all know, fog talk for "I am now porking someone else and I dont want you interfering with my ability to do that." So, it seems that now the butterflies have landed in the A and it is likely gasping for air. I cant say for sure how it will turn out, but at this point I will not allow myself to care. This might explain though why, when STBXWW and I talked about her getting the things out of the house that we have agreed to, the conversation was civil. I hadnt mentioned it before, because I thought it might be my imagination, but during this conversation, her voice seemed like it was pre-A days. I dont know why, but I sensed that she was thinking that she had made a big mistake. Given the circumstances though, I thought it was inappropriate to have any talk with her outside of the business at hand and kept to that.
Another interesting thing, was that the husband of the girl they were visiting in CA, told STBXWW that in his opinion, she was "either the most cold hearted bi+@h in the world, or that she had mental issues that needed professional attention. Our mutual friend said that when he dropped that bomb on her, she just stared blankly and had absolutely nothing to say.
Anyway, I am still preparing for the D to be final. STBXWW has moved the final hearing from 10/17 to 10/25. This is the first time she has changed the date forward. This is one messed up human being. I pity her.

WCNT -

I am glad that you seem to be doing better even after hearing about your STBXWW...I know any information can be a trigger...

I have a question for you, though...and it is more out of curiousity, and to compare how I would react as well:


If she came home today, would you attempt to reconcile?




I have been reading a very good book recently - in fact once done I will post a thread about it - called "When the Vow Breaks" The author speaks extensively on God's desire to see us reconciled, even after the D is final. I am almost to the point where I don't think I would ever want to touch my STBXWW again, much less reconcile with her.

Although I give little weight to my emotions these days, as we know how drastically they can fluctuate in a short period of time.



*Oh, and I am still wondering when we Texan MB'ers are gettin' together for our MB Rodeo! It's already October,and no date???


TM

TM,
I dont know if I can honestly say how I would react. I would certainly entertain the idea, I must admit. However, I would have to put such restrictive measures in place in order to feel comfortable about it, that I think STBXWW would likely walk away. And, I dont think any such attempt is likely anyway. After all the water that has passed under the bridge, I can see how she would humble herself to that extent.

If my wife called asd ask to get back together today, I would run home <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Something happend to the woman I fell in love with and if by any chance she came out of the "fog" I would take her back in a second.

Funny, since she started the affair and it now being over, i can see slowly the woman i knew comming back, very very slowly.

I would say she is about 35% back.

It looks to me like my d will be final before the fog lifts and or withdrawal is over. After the d, I will feel free to move on. As a matter of fact, with all that she has put me through, I feel free to move on now. I just dont have the desire. I guess now, the thing for me to do is to make sure that she knows that she is divorcing a man that truly loved her. She will have that to chew on the rest of her life, if she has any kind of conscience at all.