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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4 |
I tried talking to my brother regarding his infidelity. He mentioned that his wife's verbal abusive nature in the first three of their five years of marriage have destroyed any chance for him to see her as a loving wife. He says that he only sees her as the mother of his four year old daughter. She found out about the infidelity and told him to leave, he still denied it.
I asked him if he wanted a divorce and said he didn’t know, mainly because he doesn’t want to lose the house his worked so hard for. I also asked him what he’s done to better his marriage. He said that he really doesn’t want to work for it any longer. I asked him if he wanted to lose his daughter. Of course he said no, I said to him, actions speak louder than words.
He hung-up on me…
How should I go about giving him support to something I totally disagree?
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719 |
Get him the books here HN/Hn and SAA. He is the alien now. So he will not understand. My WH had so many complaints about me when he had his A all of it was incorrect. Sen your SIL here to learn. Whomis the OW -is she Married. If so tell her husband about the A. Read all you can here.
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,033 |
GJ,
""How should I go about giving him support to something I totally disagree?""
You don't...why would you show support for him being unfaithful??
You must be his moral compass and keep at it.
k
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4 |
My wife and I sent HN/HN to my SIL... as for my brother, he just doesn't feel he has to work at it. The OW is not married. I want to support him not his infidelity. I will keep at it.
Thanks
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4 |
Thanks,
We sent my SIL the book we are still working on my brother. Found out the ow is not married. His 28 she's 19.
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,178 |
I've told my brothers that if either one of them ever cheated, I would do anything I could to help them save their marriages, and that I'd try to help them see that it's worth it, EVEN IF THEY DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
I've also told them that more than likely I wouldn't have anything to do with them and their affair partners if they cheated and it led to divorce. Nobody pursuing an affair is welcome in my house. My house is a happy place. I don't invite vampires to cross the threshold.
GC
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I'm with graycloud, MelodyLane is no enabler. I will only support my brother in being GOOD, never in self destructive, sleazy activities.
Gjsiller, can you send your SIL here so we can help her save her marriage?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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