I have been divorced now for 7mths and I am ready to have a friend but how can you have a friend with the understanding that you do not want anything else but friendship. Is that possible? I went out with a man in May or June; an ex coworker who liked me for about 2yrs without me ever knowing. When he expressed his feelings I shot out of that relationship because he is super nice and I never want to hurt him. Is 7 months to soon to start going out again? I think I have made great strides because a few weeks ago the thought of a man just turned my stomach.

Hi Dreamer

I guess my big question for you is this... What if this is THE GUY? Are you ready for him? Is your baggage checked?


Mrs. W8ing

I don't know what you mean by a "friend", but given what you say above, I don't think you are ready for a boyfriend. Maybe some dates here or there, but I doubt they will be valuable in terms of looking for a partner, until you get to the point of happiness and content in being on your own and available and ready.

AGG

[color:"blue"]I think the best thing you might do for yourself would be to date casually for a while or join some group activities to meet people casually. Parents without partners is a great resource for eligible adults with children to meet large numbers of other adults. Church social groups for singles and divorcees. Volunteer organizations. Etc.

You owe it to yourself to "interview" as many partners as possible before deciding to settle in with one or another.

I personally used match dot com and emailed maybe 30 guys, talked to maybe 10 on the phone, dated maybe 8 and then chose one. I feel I got lucky because when I did the odds of meeting a guy with my own characteristics, the numbers were grim. I figured I would have to meet 200 guys before finding someone compatible.

I am ENTP on the Meyer's Briggs scale and so is my guy - one of the more rare combinations of personality traits.

V. [/color]

Hi W8
I don't feel like he is the one he is wonderful person but the spark is just not there and I do not want to hurt him he does not deserve that. He wants a deeper relationship and I don't.

AgoodGuy:
When I said friend I meant just that; I put the quotation marks on friend because some people do not believe that it is possible for men and women to be just friends but I do. I would like someone to just go out and have fun with without it going any further than that. As far as being happy and content on my own I can truly tell you that I am happy on my own that is why I choose friendship over a deep relationship; my issues with men and matters of the heart is getting better I do not believe that all men are dogs but I am afraid to get hurt again so I just prefer to have a friendship than a relationship.

Hi Sunny: As far as dating alot that will never happen I did get a personality test done(what is the one that comes on tv all the time?) can't remember but it a paid site to join and meeting people over the internet is not my game. Right now I just want to know if going out with a friend and having no other form of that relationship outside of friendship is possible? Am I confusing everyone let me know and I will try to explain. I do have male friends but they are married.

Ah, thanks for clarifying. In that case, isn't one always ready to have friends? Why would there be a timing issue to go along with that?

Friends are great; male and female alike. So if all you want is a friend, then of course you are ready! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

BTW, most of my friends are female, and there is no hanky panky or any intent thereof, so you can definitely have opposite sex friends. As long as one or the other does not have ulterior motives - and since the one guy you mentioned asked you out on date, then he fails that criterion <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

And some of my female friends are also married - and before anyone says "But Harley cautions against blah blah blah", I have been friends with them for about 20 years, and nothing happens... So I don't see why you can't be friends with married males. It's all a question of the extent of your friendship, and if the spouse is included (as they should be).

AGG