Morning,

Me and the stbxw had our trial date postponed til the 25th of October.

Spoke with atty last week. Two of his clients went before our judge and had their divorces denied!

We are in NY which is a "fault" state. Therefore, you must prove your grounds before you can be legally divorced.

Our judge proclaims he is married 42 years with 8 kids and a ton of grandkids. He made it clear he does not condone divorce unless it's necessary.

Anyone ever have this happen? If so, what did you do.

I am not the plaintiff, did not want the divorce and most of my wife's complaints are all lies so there's no doubt she'll have to lie on the stand to substantiate it all. She's a bad liar as well.

i'm ready to pack up and move to New York if you can get me a court date with that judge!

Do you know what lies your wife is going to tell and can you prove they are lies? If so.....good luck I hope the judge tells your wife to keep working on your marriage!!

I am in New York State as well. My h cannot even try to file for a divorce since he has no grounds (not that he would want to give up his precious money to go get a divorce anyway. He is being forced by the military to at least go and get a legal separation which will cost him at least 600.00 which I am sure she just LOVES...) anyway, back to you... I am in a very small town and there are some tough judges here. If your wife doesn't have grounds how can she be filing divorce? what are her supposed grounds?? you need pretty darn good proof of your grounds in New York State. I could file for divorce in a heart beat because of the obvious blatant adultery... But I have decided not to file at this time. Hey, I didn't do anything wrong, why should I have to shell out the thousands of dollars to end it? He wants to play, let HIM pay.

It doesn't surprise me what you wrote. Judges here too are very family oriented. With my h's current history and current antics, when and if push comes to shove, I will get sole physical custody, I have no doubt. Judges around here do not like the kind of cr*p my h is pulling besides the fact he broke up a local cops marriage and is still sleeping with this cops wife, well, lets just say a lot of judges here in town would take a nice piece of him right about now.

keep us posted..... mlhb

Wow let me move to NY to. its so easy here in Okla to D. You don't need crap to get one..... Of course if I file I can use the one of five exceptions which is adultry but if WH files I am sure he will go for no fault..... But either way the judge will know he committed adultry because I will tell it all.....

I do not want to burst your bubble HL...

I too am in NY state and although it is technically a "fault" state the reality is that all you can do is delay a divorce in NY. It becomes all about the lawyers. If your W wants a D she'll get it and if that is the case it will cost you dearly...I know...It's a misnomer to think that there must be fault isn't it? There's always the reason why my XW and I Divorced "Cruel and inhuman treatment"...or the "not getting your way" divorce. Reality is that especially if there's kids involved the judges prefer that you "agree" to a divorce...have the lawyers hammer it out at $300 an hour....

Good luck to you...

Good morning, thanks for the responses.

Actually, our D has been in process for over a year. Money is already spent and both of us realize we cannot be together any longer. I was just taken back by this judge's actions and opinions.

Cruel and inhuman is the grounds we both claim. We basically had an F U fight, she claimed I threatened her and had me removed with a RO. She also claimed all kinds of financial responsibility.

Funny thing, I re-read the original complaint and everything she accused me of is actually her doing. It's been a nightmare since with the kids, money (I still pay all bills in the house they live in), you name it.

I realize the grounds don't mean all that much but this judge let 2 couples go home without being divorced. That spells trouble for me because I live 60 miles away and I'm still paying for everything. I voluntarily paid all bills until she had the court order it as well. We also own an investment property and of course, she want's it all, including 95% of my pay for 6 years. Thus, the trial. She doesn't even work and has not looked for a job since she threw me out.

FYI-we have 3 young kids and she has custody. She even took me to court over that when I didn't even fight for it! Anything to waste money and play the role of drama queen.

So no bubble bursted as I've had it with her on my back. Legally and emotionally, she has been a nightmare and I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Her light is beginning to dim.

We go back on the 25th and she's getting real nervous.