Spoke with my good friends tonight. They now know the whole story & are behind me 100%. They are willing to be the go between for me -

MelodyLane - You are so right. I should have told them a long time ago.

Why, oh why didn't I listen??

Was on the phone for quite some time and I feel like if I would have told them in the beginning, the H could have been influencing my WH all along. The H said that he was terribly disappointed in my WH. That WH needs to make the M a priority.

I told the H all of the Foggy talk that WH would give him so he is prepared.

Well........this will be interesting to say the least.

WH asked tonight if he could take me out for dinner on my birthday. I told him that I didn't think that was a good idea. I told him I would like it if my H would come and take me to dinner, not the man who is here now.

As he was leaving I told him that if he saw my H out there anywhere to tell him to come home. That there was a man out there named XX that I believed in.

I told him we would miss him tonight for story time.

He said "I am hurting too."

I went and gave him a hug. When he left we kissed.

He is going to be so shocked to find the Plan B letter here tomorrow. He is coming by to wash clothes.

He plans on coming home Friday. I told him I couldn't stay under the same roof with someone who was Married and was running around with a girlfriend.

Kimberly
D-Day May 14th
DS, age 6
Married 13 years
WH left on Friday. Going into official Plan B tomorrow.

Good job, Kim, just stand your ground and say lots of prayers. Be prepared for him to try hard to get you to break your Plan B. He will not like losing control over you. Are you prepared?

And I am very glad you spoke to your friends. You need their support in a big way. I wish you had your mother for support, too.

Kim,

I am sending lots of prayers. I know how hard this is going to be. Try and stay strong and take care of yourself and DS.

I think you did wonderful n the babble talk with him. I bet it made him think some.

I am glad your good friends are there for you as that means a lot. All of our friends have been behind me since d-day. Its a good feeling.

I really think you have a good chance of your real H coming home in the future. Keep up the good work. Wish I has the same feelings for myself but I am beginning to think mine has just gone to far.

Remember we are all here for you to listen and help dry your tears. Take Care...

Hurting

I don't think much of the babble talk works with them. what does work is saying things that remind them of their own foggy behavior...if you start appearing LIKE them.

good for you. but you gotta stick to guns. glad you have a gobetween also.

you can do it.

I wonder if my xh's present w is friends with any of these ow? seems like there is a golddiggers' club here in ATL or something???

Also, will you PROMISE to come here and talk to us before you ever agree to take him back? WS are notorious for making grand, but empty, promises in order to get back in control. If you take him back too soon, you will be in a much worse position that you were before you asked him to move. You will be watching the affair up front and close, but will have forfeited all of your leverage by throwing away your credibility.

Also, in SAA it is suggested that the OP receive a copy of the Plan B letter. What about sending OW and her H a copy?

p.s. and most importantly: you do understand that Plan B means *NO* contact, right? Not "some" contact, not "business contact," not "contact only about the kid;" it really means NO contact, PITCH BLACK in order to be meaningful. Everytime he can have contact with you, gives him the fix he needs to continue his affair.

I never sent the OW a copy of the planb letter was I suppose to ????? Crap I gues it would be to late now ...


Yup don't do what I did and break planb because its so much harder to get back on it .... and then ya have to prove you mean business even harder......

I am making copies of my Plan B letter right now. Will drop one in the mail for OW on the way to work in the morning.

Thanks for all of your support!!! Believe me I will be here to continue venting, crying and getting advice. & the laughs when they come!

I will definitely consult before taking WH back.

Just Peachy - The Affair magnet is huge in Atlanta. Some good has got to come out of all of this. I told my sis about plans for some of us to get together. She said great! You will probably meet some great people that way!!

Mel - Pitch Black. It will be hard, but I can do it. I know I can. My go-between friends understand my plan & I laid out to the H what would have to happen for WH to be able to come home. Both of them have gone through A's in their last marriages......Atlanta again!!!!!!!!

Too bad the timing had to come around my birthday. Now I have to pay for my own birthday dinner.

{{{{Hurting}}}} I am thinking about you. What do you think about getting a roomate to help with expenses??? I have been considering that myself.

Kimberly

Well actually all I need is for DD to get a job. She is looking and hopefully one will happen soon and then we will be ok.....

I really don't have a room for anyone else. Both kids have their own room s I do.... We will be ok..... Especially if I get something legal going and make him pay.... and believe me he will ...... and TY for your kind words and prayers...

Kim, You are doing really well. Did you give him the plan B letter? Sorry if I missed that post. How are you now?

This is such a great opportunity for your M. You have to be strong and don't back down. Follow Mel's advice. Once he gets the letter he will try to get you to change your mind. Aliens can be very charming, they know what you want to hear...listen with your gut. Listen to his actions not his words. DO NOT let him come home without writting NC letter to OW. WS really try to wiggle out of that one if they are not committed to M.

You are in my thoughts and prayers

Confused - Thank you so much. I am going to start another post regarding the Plan B letter.

He got it today.

Kim

I want to do Plan B but my H is so set on D, has no plans to stop seeing OW and seems happiest when I spend a few days with my folks. UGH!!

vtJenny -

Have you done a Plan A yet??

Kimberly