I was reading something you posted on another thread. Out of courtesy, rather than threadjack, I thought I would bring it to a separate thread.

I just wanted to point some things out to you.

You said:



Who can quantify the amount of damage or scarring left as the result of a betrayal...married or unmarried?

Betrayal is betrayal. The pain is still there. Often, if the parties have been married before, it also damages the children from those prior marriages.

To say that there are no vows between two people who aren't married is an untrue statement.

A vow is defined as an earnest promise to perform a specified act or behave in a certain manner.

Unmarried people make promises to each other, too.

One vital difference between a vow to each other in marriage as opposed to an unmarried couple is that the vows or promises are made also to God.

So while in a relationship where the parties are unmarried, there may be no broken promises to God - the promises made to each other are equally as broken in an unmarried relationship as they are in a marriage.

The promises were still real, and the pain of them being broken is real, also.

I agree. I think if you read my complete thoughts on the two thread discussing that subject, you'll see that I hold vows between unmarried people in high regard, as well. (by unmarried I mean people who are not living together, not in a common law situation, or who have not taken formal wedding vows)

However, as much as it hurts, there is not the additional problems and complications that come from feeling "married" such as in one of the situations above.

I considered editing that post immediately, by the way, but the damage done outside of one of those situations above is easier to live with, and bounce back from eventually, under normal circumstances than when inside those situations.

As always, I believe there are exceptions to every rule.

I hope this helps, and it's only my opinion, cuz apparently a lot of people totally disagree me on the fact that a betrayal outside a formal marriage contract is a bad betrayal nonetheless.

I guess that would be true in some instances. I guess it would depend on the person or people involved and the specific circumstances.

Materialistically there is less to lose most of the time in boyfriend and girlfriend relationships and it is cheaper most of the time also. Emotionally they can be equally scaring. I also disagree with that people that are in not marital relationships bounce back more quickly. I know quite a few people that will never date again. I guess what my questions is this how can you say it is easier to live with and bounce back than the supposdly normal circumstance than when inside those circumstances?


You also said 10swords that betrayel is a bad betrayel...umm isn't the word betrayel in a negative light so how it can it ever be a positive, how can a betrayel ever be positive? Besides betraying a murderer or someone like that.

I suggest you find and read the other posts on this subject. Without the context in which it was originally stated you are not getting the total picture of how I see it. You'll be surprised to know I view it pretty nearly the same as you, but the marrieds have convinced me that "married" is worse. I'm married and mine was bad. I don't care to discuss the symantics any further.