Success is a happy marriage without any *3rd adult* in it, and trust basically restored. (the "rules" might be different, however <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

Can we *briefly* list our success stories? I'd like to inspire everyone still struggling.

I'll add my success story later.
J
7years later and it's my 19th wedding Anniversary today <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

My marriage has been restored. My d-day was 5 years ago and I did not think in a million years we would be where we are today.

As long as BOTH put in the necessary work you can recover from this. We have our hard times but we are a team and can get through anything as long as we do it together.

I am very happy with my husband and 3 kids. I consider OC to be my child as well. So when asked I always say I have 3 kids. It took a long time to get to that point but he is very dear to me.

Any other success stories out there?

thanks for your story, what an encouagement. that shoes it can be done. i dont think its going to come over night. what is the biggest thing you too did that helped the most
thanks,
i need to remember it takes time and work, to not give up. thanks for being there for all of us...

Hi Jenny,

Happy Anniversary!!! (Belated).

It's been almost 8 years since D-day. A link to the story is here. Marriage is good---the 10 month old OC discussed is now nearly 7, and no word from the OM.

A LITTLE OVER 2 YRS. OF SUCCESSFUL MARRAIGE RECOVERY.
H& I ARE MORE IN LOVE THAN EVERBEFORE.
OUR FAMILY(OC INCLDUED)IS HAPPY AND BLESSED.
WE ARE A REAL LOVING FAMILY.

YEA! Some replies! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

imtswife, Affair was 1y w/my "friend"--double betrayal. I saw a counselor asap after DDay, and another as a couple for about a year (when our counselor said we were doing better than 90% and "released" us).

Glad I told almost no one for 1 year. DH and I agreed to "fake it 'til we made it" so I would have no regrets if the marriage failed despite giving our best shot. Like death, the first year or two is hardest.

We read multiple recovery books (After the Affair by Janis Abram Spring was our favorite), but none of them give advice for dealing w/OC. I got that from the counselors, reading these boards, and Policy of Joint Agreement.

We had 4 years of long distance contact (mail), 2 years no-contact (due to xow), and 1 year--so far--of visitation (we moved twice). It was important any contact not hurt our children or marriage or we would end contact. So far, so good. OC calls me her "other mom" and she's a neat kid. Visitation increased gradually to every-other-weekend, more during school breaks.

DH was/is very remorseful and willing to be on a "short leash" to regain my trust. He is still accounts for his time to me, and our marriage is great.

It hurts like ****** in the beginning, but recovery IS possible and I'm glad I stayed.

J
married 19y <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
kids 13, 7, 3
OC 7