No fireworks. WH picked up his Plan B letter sometime today.

He called me twice before he got it but I didn't answer his calls.

He called me this afternoon too. I had already asked the receptionist to say I was in a meeting. He tried to get me by dialing straight through to my extension. He ended up leaving a message about tax info. No mention of the letter.

I am pretty sure I was clear enough in my letter about not communicating with me. If he tries again to contact me I will have to write it out a bit more clear.

So, came home to an empty house. Just me and DS. Had a bit of dinner....DS is playing outside with friends & then we will go to get some Ice Cream.

In his message WH said I could leave the info regarding the tax quesion in a note at home or call him with it. I will just call our CPA myself tomorrow.

I called OWH and told him about the development with WH moving out. We talked for a while. He seems nice. He says his kids are what keeps him going.

I am sure when WH finds out I called him I will get a call from WH to question my intentions.....

Time to figure out what to do first to start doing things for ME. There are lots of things to do around the house. The commode broke and a window curtain fell down. That sounds exciting huh?

I really don't think WH is going to have a problem with staying away from me.

Kimberly
D-Day May 14th
DS age 6
Married 13 years
Plan B started 10/11/05

It ain't over 'till it's over ....

You will prolly be surprized at how much this bothers your WH ... but you may not know about that for quite some time ..... he won't tell you it bothers him ... but he will b**ch and moan about how 'unreasonable' and how 'cruel' you are ... whatever....

this puts PRESSURE on OW to become YOU ... and that just ain't possible ... coz she is an adulterous woman and you ain't !

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Pep - You know, I was hoping for a note from him or something. I didn't really expect it though.

Will give it some time. I hope that my good friends give a "hit you over the head" good talking to.

My friend last night said "There ain't nothing that woman can give WH that you can't."

He should have said "There ain't no way that OW can come close to give WH what you can."

You are right though. I don't expect that WH will let me know that he is bothered by this......

Kim

Maybe Mimi will come along and share how much her WH hated Plan B ... but he did not tell her that until recovery, of course. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Be tough now so you can be loving later

LOL...

I was just thinking about how he tried to make her into me and she didn't have a clue about what she was SUPPOSED to do....

She cut her hair like mine...

Tried to cook like me...H couldn't help her..he doesn't know how to cook....

OH, MY.....

KIM:

You said;



Believe this. It is true whether he knows it now or not..

I was reading here about your day today...

He's already tried to reach you. It wasn't REALLY about the tax stuff whether he knows it now or not...

He NEEDS to hear your voice.....at least....

Kim, you are doing great, and I am so proud of you. I doubt that you will get no response from him, so please just brace yourself. Am very glad you gave the OMW a heads up.

How is your boy doing with all this?

Poor LemonMan has sooooooooooooo much crow to eat! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You did great Kim! I'm one week in and I'm surviving. Last night I had this super strong urge to call WH, but after walking around the house a little bit and then finally just going outside to sit on the patio, it passed.

You can do this. Plan B is about quiet strength. As a mother, you already have this skill so you are ahead.

It takes 20 days to make a habit. 1 down....19 to go. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


{{{{{Kim}}}}}}}}

Good job, Kim. Now stay dark. That is the tough part. Your husband will think of all kinds of reasons to contact you. Don't give in.

Melody - There are all kinds of good recipes for crow - baked, fried, in soup, with potatoes, and on and on. LM will get through this too.

Pep



I WILL - be strong & tough.


Mimi



I would like to think that. We'll see. The tax info he needed for the CPA was only info I could get since my name is on the mortgage. WH has put off doing taxes for last year several times & our extension is up on the 15th......

I'll still believe he needed to hear my voice...


Mel



Yep. I wouldn't want OW to misinform her H about the reasons I had WH move out and that I was giving up on my M> I told OWH that I was not done fighting and that this was just a step I needed to take. Too bad he won't come here to MB himself.

DS is doing ok. I started to tell him once yesterday and once today that Mommmy and Daddy were having problems and were trying to work things out. I just can't quite find the words yet. I know he needs to be told......He hasn't asked why Daddy isn't staying here. He hasn't said he misses his Daddy. No questions at all.

Stop -



Thanks so much for the enouragement. I'm glad you were able to resist calling your WH. I know the urge has got to be strong at times, but you made it through!!! Good for you! We can do this.


Believer -



I am actually feeling a bit angry with WH right now so I really don't even want to talk to him. Some of the anger over the choices he has made and the way he has treated me over the past 5 months is beginning to surface. I do miss him though and I still love him so I have to watch the urge to call him.

I hope Lemonman is enjoying his crow. He has a lot of it to eat. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Off to get DS into bed - be back later.

Kimberly

I raised a baby crow once ... sure wouldn't want to eat one ..

I am here taking it like a man...slurp slurp....hmmm hmmm good. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

crow sammich for you, big boy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Lem -- by the way, who won the game Saturday??

Kim

Here's my next concern:

I know WH came by the house today while I was at work & I know he will continue to come by while I am not here. I have thought about changing the locks, but as I mentioned I believe he will kick down the door to get in. I could put a second deadbolt on the front door, but he could gain access through the balcony door or the garage & basement doors.

I did not spell out in the Plan B letter that I didn't want him coming into the house. I meant to add that in, but did not. I guess my first step would be to write him out a second note asking him to respect my space and not enter the house.

Then if he continues, I will have to think of something else.

Is there a way to effectively work this towards my advantage?? (fixing up the house, making repairs myself, putting out more family pictures, doing some painting - WH & I used to do oil paintings together. We got the easels, canvases, paints & tools. That was one of the things we enjoyed doing together.) So I'm thinking that if I simply can't keep him out that I could have all of this stuff going on inside that shows how well I'm doing....

I really would like to keep him out though.

Kimberly

You don't even want him in your house, that way he gets a house "fix" while in Plan B. Why didn't you add that part to the letter?

I was looking over the copy of my letter today b/c I was concerned about leaving something out regarding contacting me. I re-worded that paragraph slightly, but did have that part all in there.

I noticed that I didn't include the extra section about staying out of the house. It wasn't in my original.....

It was something like this: "If you need anything from inside the house, please let X & X know and I will make sure you get it."

Kimberly

Very good Kimberly!!! stay the course

Change the locks, Kimberly. When he comes by acting like Lord of the Manor and can't get the front door open, the mental shock will do more than your letter has at this time.

Just my opinion!