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Please help....I have a friend (really, it's NOT me!). Last week she asked me for some advice...it seems her husband wants her to pretend she is under age while they are being intimate toghether. He also wants her to pretend that he is taking her virginity!!! She is a christian, however, he is not! I recommended that she talk with him to find out more information. She said they could not talk about sex toghether. I do know that they are both around 40 years old and have been married for about 18 years or so...they do not have a very good marriage, as they have been separated twice in the past 6 months....Since this fantasy started, though, he continues to desire sex much more often....what kind of help or words of comfort/wisdom can I offer my friend regarding this situation.. I would appreciate any ideas....

Hi courtmeder,

Welcome to MB.

Not talking about sex and desires isn't going to help either of these two people feel good about themselves and their marriage.It's an intimate part and obviously the husband has some fantasies that maybe your friend isn't too comfortable with.

These problems are usually bigger than one person or friend can safely offer advice for.If I were you,I would encourage your friend to seek out counseling with a pro marriage counselor.This man may have sexual issues(i.e. porn,affair,etc) that's affecting their marriage and she may have issues as well.Point is,it's not really your place to do anything but offer support and listen.They need professional help.If they avoid it and try to manage on their own,things could get worse.As you've stated,they have been separated twice already.

They need help before they end up divorced.You could also encourage your friend to check out our bookstore for some good reads.

Hope this helped.

O

Thank you for the help....I do intend to share some resources with her...books...counseling referrals...and on! Again, thanks. courtmeder