i just would like to get the advice from you.
my ww 's mood is not steady, when she was home from work, she could talk with me for a short time. but later she looks very depressed and unhappy, i know this op is in her mind. i want to know how i can deal with situation? i just feel very unfair for me simply can not pretend to be happy .
but i have to pretend to be light and happy .
show i leave her alone for a moment and go to do my work by myself or i should sit beside her ? i am very confused about it.

now i know a litte more about this op.
at moment my ww can not contact this guy as she wishes, because this guy has his family of her own, at the moment this guy can not abandon his family to be with my ww.
that is why ww felt very depressiv, that is why she is worrying about at that time i will leave her because till now this op is a very unsteady factor for my ww, so my ww does not know if she could be with this op for ever because of it.
that is why at this time my ww prefer to keep me at her side before she will know further about the possibility of being with this op for ever.
so i do not know if it is worth my try to save this loveless marriage.
i hope i can hear from you soon.
thanks

Do you love your wife? Is she worth fighting for? Do you have children?
I would do damn near anything to save my WW from her OM. For me my WW is my sole mate, the love of my life that I let down in our marriage. I feel until she is happy my job is not done yet. First you must understand why this affair happened. Then you can figure out how to make the changes needed to bring happiness back into your marriage. If your wife is willing to reconsile with you then you two need to understand how to meet each others needs. MB has great material that helps understand.
Oh yeah, never leave you spouse alone in a time of need... Ever.. Take my advice. I did just that.... Now she is living with an alien in his apartment.
Dazed..

Pinetree - have you read the material on this website? Or any of Dr Harley's books? They explain pretty well exactly what to do and why it's so important that you do it.

Yes - you do your best to be as upbeat and positive as possible. You ask her if you can do anything to help her. If she needs to talk, you listen. Be as loving and caring as you can possible be. It's called Plan A - and sometimes it may leave you feeling like a doormat. But it can have deep reaching effects on the WS.

Look at it this way - I know it seems 'unfair' that YOU, the betrayed one, has to 'put up' with this kind of behaviour - but in the END what is it that you really want? If you really want your marriage back and want it better than ever - then it's all worth it.

Have you exposed this to his wife/family? Strike now when it looks like he is backing off...don't wait till he starts again. Exposure can be painful but it can also be your best ally by speeding up the death of the affair by exposing it to the light of day!!!

i have exposed the affair to friends and her family of my ww.

till now i can not find any info about the family of this op. i only know where he works .

I just wonder if it is ok to expose the affair to the friends of this op?
i would like to get the info from the friends of this op, however i do not think they will tell me since they do not know me. and what is more if i do it later, they will probley inform this op saying someone(me) would like to get the info about him.
Any suggestion, could i expose the affair to the friends of this op?
thanks