here it goes. 2 1/2 years after DDay I think it is even worse. i dotn know what to do. here is what happend. after my covnersation with OW, where she said she would not talkt o my H any more etc. (that happend on sunday). Wedensdsay I check the phone records and she called him two times the very next day.!!!!! i was livid. I confronted him about it. He denied it at first. I sadi look i ahve the phone records right here!!!!!! . Then he mustve talked to her, or something because i get a private number calling my house (while i'm argueing with H a obut this) i click over its OW! she is screaming at me that she called him to B***h about me calling her, and she is not really marreid any more then she said. i know wher eyou and your kids live and i'm going to come and get them and hurt you!!!! , she also said she knows where D goes to school and what they look like from a picture. I was MAD/SCared. so i called out to work. I told H. I called the cops and filed a complaint! he was very sad about the whole thing. he said he has been living a double life " a life of lies" and he is so sick of it. That he was done with her for good.

He changed his cell phone number/ our house number. we are going to a counsler on Friday of next week. he was very apologietic (unlike most otgher times hwere he turns it around to be my fault) i set up my boundaries. any more contact with OW it is the end. I can not keep doing this craziness!!

what a mess.

The saddest thing that I'm hearing here is that, 2.5 years after D-Day, your H is still being dishonest with you. It's something that you both need to work on.

You are right that this is a boundary issue.

Understand that it is OK to live in any way that pleases you, including the toleration of contact with OW. But it is important that you work out what is acceptable and what is not for you. And that you make these into boundaries.

Next violation of a boundary should be instantaneous plan B.

The onus should be on your WH to make you feel safe, not on you to verify.

How sad. two and a half years of dashed hope. You must be strong, I''ll hand you that.

ML,

Good for you for calling the police.This pyscho OW has to be stopped and hopefully,now,your WH sees how bad this will get if he keeps up contact.I am sorry that he was intially dishonest about contact.That was NOT good after all this time.He should have been forthcoming.That says a lot about how far you haven't come.ugh

I agree with Bob.Cut him off(Plan B,file,etc) the very next time contact is on.You have to stick to your boundaries,we all do.When I told my WH that if he was in contact with the homewrecker one more time that was it,over.And so it went.It was hard not to give him another chance but my boundaries were more important at the time and always will be.NO ONE will step all over me time and again.

STAY STRONG!

O