My wh was supposeto come and see the boys today- but he called and said that his truck broke down again -he would come tomorrow. I asked him about getting money for uniform shirt for our oldest son- he said i dont have any money- what do you want me to do ? I said youknow that's ok- ill figure something out. He said dont dome like that- he says he is having astring of bad luck (ow lost job,3 cars broke down,i guess she pressuring him) He says im paying mortgage, and what we agreed to.Then he tells me thisis not about you its thing i have on my mind and i dont need your helpor anyones help. Ill be by on friday. He has been a jerk this week. He was mad that I got the computer fixed but still need xp-(a guy friend helped me so i could look for a job.) He came and said he didnt fix it right- and bought over the laptop- that i asked about 3mos ago.
thats when he was mean and said his truck had broke down that day also- and was very moody.he says im blowing this out of proportion.
he called yesterday and said congrats that i had a job interview and i wont even tell him i got the job with a bigger salary than my last job.
is this about me?????????? i have plan a- and it seems this week things between us have tanked. where is the love? is she getting any of this ****** im getting?

bump up please

Sometimes you just can't win. I'm quite accustomed to WH jerks who can't be bothered to see their kids. Hang in there. He wouldn't be so peeved if he didn't know he was so wrong.

Hang in there.

grapes- what do i do? do you think hes hitting bottom? or he just hates me?

I think this is very good. I hope more bad things happen to him. You can be assured that he is not all sweetness and light with the OW. Hang in there.

do ikeep being nice or is there hope? people keep saying he'll be back - it's not cold out yet.....

Keep being nice. The chances are excellent that he will be back. Sounds like his life is going downhill.

Make sure you do the things you need to do to make your life nice.

winter,

Hang in there, honey! It sounds like you are doing a good Plan A! You are doing improvements on you. you're cutting out LBs. You've got a new and better job! congratulations! It sounds like you are making a very attractive and safe home for yourself and your children --- maybe WH can join you once he figures out that the pile of chit he has made himself to lay in really stinks. Just make sure he's had a good wash and is very remorseful and ready to do whatever it takes to rebuild your marriage.

Hang in there, winter, you are doing well. Continue, continue!

how long has your plan A been and what is your time line for plan B


ark

Thanks for the kind words-and congrats
Ark- Last time mimi posted she said to keep doing plan a. Ive been plan A Sept.
He seemed to have started to at least act like he was coming out of the fog- but the past week he has been moody and mean. See above. I started focusing on me 2 wks ago- the job search, not calling him, chasing,taking an interest about him or anything.His birthday - i just said h birthday and thats when he came to get boys to take them out.
Thats when all the car trouble and the moodiness started.
He said I dont want your help or anyones help. Im having a string of bad luck and have a lot on my mind.
Im out here in the dark trying to fix my truck in his jobs parking lot. ill be over tomorrow to see the boys.
The more i dont care- then he comes around.

Then I'd say you're doing great!

Of course he's PI$$ED. He wants you to be the source of all evile in his world. That's what he's been using to justify his Affair. Now he's having his little world knocked over on it's side, things aren't all sweetness and light and the grass is no greener on the other side. I'd bet there's a lot of muddy patches and skunkweed he couldn't see from inside the fence of your marriage.

He's probably feeling really moody that you don't seem to need him, and may not welcome him back with open arms and _no questions asked_ if he decides he wants to come home.

I mean they all think that once they come home there'll be h&ll to pay, because they've been proven to be "in the wrong". Boy that blows-- for them.

Just remind yourself when you see him all moody and pissy 'it sucks to be H". and allow yourself a sweet smile.

Thanks 10s- so when he comes to see boys - ill leave the room or just go on to the store or work on my homework. we'll see if the drama continues today.

well the wh came by and he told kids he is so broke. he couldnt even give them their allowences or money for their good grades. he asked me to give it to them. he also said that when he told me he didnt wantmy help or anyones help- how can you help me when you cant help yourself? you dont have a job, and you are not handeling things like i should here, that he feels i have money and not telling him and asking him. I looked at him like he was retarded.
I finally toldhimhes doing such a good job handeling 2 households where both women are /were unemployed. he looked stunned - how did i know shes not working?????????
He tells me that i used to say he handeled things alone and wouldnt ask for help and thats what hes doing.
I informed him i start my new job on Monday (didnt tell himsalary is way morethan hes making).
It was at that moment when i realized my wh is about to hit bottom.
He then says if we dont always have discussions and keep things light- surprises may come. what darn suprises.
Things may hapen and be back together. Right...........
I know things are tight for him. I told him when he comes tosee kids iwillleave so they willhave time together so that he wont have to hearme. He says no - this is OUR home and i want to see you and talk to you. UmHummmmmmmm...
He says im going to stay and visit with kids and I left. When I got back- the kids said he stayed 5 minutes and left after me.
What is that about..........
I have been here and taken care of kids - only asked for help with sons shirts other day and all this other stuffcame out.
I said he was good that he can handle 2 households- what a guy!
it is slowly getting to the bottom- the money thing is sweating him.
I guess she is putting the screws tohim also- when will this end?

I like what 10swords said re: letting WH see that BS is not the cause of all their problems. My WH is having a sucky week too, and it is not my fault! He has been working his butt off, has had two flat tires (expensive tires too) and the lawyer he is calling has not returned his calls. And none of that is wifey poos fault. At some point you would think they would see that life sometimes just stinks and it is easier to get through it as a team.

yep - he is not a happy camper. My daughter says he will be home very shortly. She said life is not working for him.
Hes been coming by more and looking around etc.

Winterkisses -

Sounds like he is beginning to see what he's missing. Things are really sucking & OW is not able to make it "all better".

Seems positive, but I'm no expert......

Best,

Kimberly
D-Day May 14th
DS age 6
Married 13 years
Plan B 10-11-05 NO CONTACT SO FAR

yeah..... he also told me that i misunderstood when he told me he didnt love me anymore- that i took it out of proportion. He said it was wrong what he said i need to not make things bigger than they are, he loves the kids and me and that surprises may be coming soon.....right........