My husband of 7 years is cheating on me with an older woman who works for him. She is 37, I am 26 and he is 28. To my knowledge the affair has been for the past 2 1/2 mos. For the past month I have been trying to be the perfect wife. He has told me several times that he was going to call it off with her but has not. The last time he tried to call it off with her she claimed she was pregnant. We are still waiting for the doctors results to confirm it. He still told me that he was in love with me. I scheduled a trip for us to go to Jamacia and we had a great time, however it did not keep him from calling her while we were there. When he returned back to work and saw her he started acting weird towards me and then all a sudden he has two unexpected bussiness trips to go on that will cause him to be gone the next two weeks. He did admit to me that she was going on the bussiness trip with him, he said the whole office is going.


What do I do?

Her husband is aware of the affair and is filing for separation. My husbands friends are also aware of the affair and they seem to be ok with it. He has told his family we are having problems, but not that he is cheating.

Welcome to marriage builders. Start in Plan A, which it seems like you are already doing.

The other step is exposure. Time to tell the management at work, his family, and your family. Also unless you know for a fact by talking to her husband that he knows, tell him. Often the affairees say that the spouse knows. Often it is a lie.

duncad, the first thing you should do is notify his family, your family, and workplace management about the affair. Tell them the truth and ask for their support in saving your marriage. The more exposure you can do, the more conflict you cause in the affair as an affair thrives on secrecy.

How do you know that her H is aware? Have you spoken to him yourself?

Have you read the materials on this website? Please read as much as you can, starting with the link in my signature. Then get your hands on Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley.

Wow, sometimes you read this $hit, and you can't really belive that their are WS who have the gall to act like this...Good Lord...if I didn't read it here, I wouldn't belive it.

The advice you have received above is "tried" and "true"....and "reproducible".....all good markers, for a potential treatment to your marriage problem.

I would add that you practice EXTREME PRECAUTION in your physcial associations with your WH (read: NO SEX)...He is obviously not practicing safe sex (pregancy possible.....What next?) , and you don't want to be potentially "bathing" in the "seminal juices" of her previous lovers.....A little graphic, but I hope you get the point.

PROTECT YOUR BODY, and EXPOSE THIS AFFAIR TO EVERYONE WHO MATTERS.....You SHOULD re-expose to everyone he "said knows", chances are that they don't know the whole story.

Do you have children?

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Expose.
Inform yourself here.
Be safe...
He's climbed onto the WS mothership hon! I mean...no affair but the OW is going on an extended 2 week business trip? I caught my xh on at least 2 of these things..but not for 2 weeks gone.

His OW is his crack right now. He's not thinking straight.

He has to have motivation to change his behavior. And only your actions can help suggest him to change this destructive behavior. You can't change him, but you can take appropriate actions. Words do not help. Actions do. Learn what MB actions you can take. That would mean plan A co mbined w/exposure to all needed. Then a great stellar plan A for a distinct period of time...and if needed a dark plan B.

Read up. Get help here. Everybody is here to help families ok?

Strap in...buckle up. You're on this roller coaster whether you like it or not. But good news! You are the one who decides how long the ride goes on for.

Choices are yours always. Actions are to be chosen well. I can't stress that enough. A WS doesn't really respond as well to words as they respond to good and timely actions.

Just my .02

And get some recon on his behavior should you need proof legally later.

EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE

Exposure is necessary to stop an Affair. You must find the strength to do it and thoroughly, do it all at once, do it calmly and when you let all the families and others who need to know, explain that you are exposing their Affair because you've been advised to do so, and you are trying to save your marriage because you love your husband very much. end of story and go on to the next.

I would do it before this so-called business trip can get off the ground.