If I might interject, seconding BobPure's recommendation of "Captivating." Really fleshes out the stuff he touched on in WAH regarding the nature of a woman and how she uniquely reflects the image of God. And the chapter on "A Special Hatred" juxtaposing Satan and Eve gave me chills.

Pep...

If nothing else, this is why you should keep posting here...you have an inate ability to (pardon the crassness) recognize chicken s#%t from chicken salad <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />...IMO this ability makes your advice more than valuable...IT'S POSITIVELY INDISPENSIBLE!!!



Here Are But A Few Things That You've Done For US...

• When I posted my Infamous-to-Mr. Wondering-and-I, "Clarity from contacting OM" thread...you posted some really great stuff to me...and when I asked if you thought what I did was "that bad", you said, "bad, yes very bad...more than I am saying"...Pep, you have no idea how much that that short post made me think...and think, and think, and think, etc...It caused me to dig really deep about what I had done and the ramifications of my actions...you help many here, and we never even tell you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
• On that same thread, I asked you, after you gave me some EXTREMELY well deserved and MUCH NEEDED 2 x 4's..."Pep, are you just trying to engage me?". I couldn't even see how much your posts were helping me...Your questions, your statements...so carefully designed to allow one to come to their own conclusions (much more powerful than you drawing those conclusions for them)...I specifically brought this up to Mr. Wondering just last week...I was reflecting on my unbelievable fogginess, and wow, it is so clear to me now just how helpful that thread was...many of those posts really needled at my fog and aided in it's speedier lifting...I marveled to Mr. W about your wisdom where ignoring my inciteful question to you was concerned...It's now so obvious that it was I who was trying to engage you...like all waywards, I desperately wanted an audience with which to argue my nonsensical rationalizations and justifications...you, of course, saw right through me, and knew how best to handle it...yet again, your ability to recognize how to help shines brightly as an immensely powerful beacon of light...
• Later, on someone else's thread you said "Mrs. Dub'ya, you've come a long way baby"...you have no idea how proud I felt to receive such a compliment from the likes of you...I told you at the time that I had God, my H and folks on MB like you to thank for that...That was not, by any means, an understatement...I "wonder" if all of you "pros" truly grasp just how much genuine respect that you garner from the rest of us here???
• You also responded to one of my posts to bbqdad, with "Mrs. Dub'ya, yer one funny filly"...Pep, that made me feel so good...maybe it's silly that it did, but it did...I really needed that, and I just wanted you to know... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> I can't name how many times that you have given us a really good laugh, I mean genuine guffaws...Most recently, on a thread where the irrepressible Lemonman had, GASP-Imagine that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />, chimed in...Mimi had told him that he should change his member name to "The Lone Ranger"...he took it under advisement...Now, "knowing" Mimi, she was refering, of course, to his MB name, but hilarious you came back with something like "Mimi, I gave my H's "member" a name too, but it wasn't The Lone Ranger"...even Lem missed that, LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />, "snort", as Melody would say...And speaking of that saucy, pepsi drinkin' Texan (pepsi, PUHLEEZE, as an Atlantan, I can only pray that God has mercy on her soul for that one! LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />)...Well, anyway, when the two of you team up with the comic relief, well, it's nothing short of genius at times...Do you know how great it is for a couple in recovery to laugh together, I mean really laugh? I know that you do know...I just wanted to point out how instrumental you've been to US, in all aspects of our recovery...

Those are only a few of the things about you that have made an impact on us...And hey, I listed those without even going back and reading...Without question, you are someone that we will always be honored to call "friend"...Pep, you have really reached out and touched us...We will forever cherish and be grateful for the precious fingerprint that you left behind in doing so...

It is you "vets" that have inspired Mr. Wondering and I to stick around here and try to offer to others just a tiny portion of what we have received from ya'll...Pep, even if you decide not to post for a while, AND YOU WILL BE MISSED, if that's your decision..PLEASE come back, if nothing else, we "newbie helpers" need you...we look to you for guidance in learning how we can do what you have become so adept at doing...

I think that many times we don't recognize the things in life that we are really good at...We simply take those things for granted...As the "hey, no big deals" of life...We don't "get" that we are highly skilled in these areas of our lives, we don't see it that way, because those things that we're good at come to us so easily, sort of our second nature, if you will...We don't realize that in minimizing our greatest strengths, we quelch the very blessings that those strengths were intended to give us and others around us...We fail to see that not everyone possesses those same abilities, because we don't even view them as abilities...I hope that you fully understand what an enormous positive and deep legacy you have bequeathed here...You are priceless Pep...



With My Deepest Respect & Gratitude,


Mrs. Wondering



P.S. I "hear" you saying that your "advice well" feels tapped right now...Perhaps you might consider this...Post your story, or if you already have, provide a link for those of us who haven't read it...Sometimes just "hearing" how others have dealt with their own problems can be as beneficial as direct advice...In fact, [color:"red"]HEY, HEY JUSTUSS[/color]...Just "wondering", if Pep, Melody, and other "seasoned" Marriage Builders decide to do this, could you guys create a "Marriage Builders Hall of Fame" board in the Infidelity section of this forum? A board that could be posted to "by mods invitation only" perhaps? I, for one, think that that would be a very helpful place for people here to "visit"...


P.S.S. Melody, I saw that you posted that you understand the feelings that Pep is having...When you feel this way too, just give a shout...I could certainly list specific "pearls of wisdom" that I have collected from your posts as well...to Mr. Wondering and I, you are also priceless...

What a beautiful post from Mrs. Wondering...

You are one of God's blessings Pep...

This entire forum has been a blessing from God to me..

The main thing that I want to share, though, is that I've noticed that my thoughts/opinions/posts, etc. have changed the farther out that I get from D-Day...

Events that I thought I would never forget are getting cloudy and I find myself struggling to really identify with folks that are in the early stages of all this...I feel that I might not be helpful because I cannot relate...don't want to relate..almost like PTSD...I find I almost want to avoid those MEMORIES because my present life is so wonderful and so different..I wonder if this could also be happening with you.. You are way ahead of me in this JOURNEY...

Secondly, it seems that society is changing.. You are in my age group, my cohort..less than 10 years between us. Who would have ever thought that having babies "out of wedlock", "living together" or "shacking up" and many other situations that were kept "hush-hush" when I was a youngster are now socially acceptable....I think infidels use this to legitimize what they are doing and we may find this to be even more INCREDIBLE...BIZARRE...ALIEN than some others....

Just wondering....

Pep,

I was listening to my Casting Crowns CD and this song came on that made me think of you. It seems that they are talking about what you already do.

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you straining for words
You trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side

(The chorus repeats a few times so I just typed the first part of the song)

You do a really good job of offering hope to the hopeless and showing God's love.

Awesome post, Mrs W! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I was wrong ... Susan sent me

The Sacred Romance

She was reading Captivating and she was telling me a little bit about it

Java P

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> thanks .... send coffee

Mrs Dub'ya

I am so relieved I didn't cause brain damage with my 2X4 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'll tell my story later ... "I am taking a rest cure" <~~~~ from the movie Enchanted April

A few days late since the start of the thread, but here 'ya go!

One big Paul Bunyanesque Louisville Slugger (telephone pole size) hunk 'o wood coming your way!!!!

Feeling a tad frustrated??? Here let me move over and make some room on the wooden (complete with the occasional splinters) "bull pen" bench for all those who've "been at it a while." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

P.S. Here's a tweezer. You might find it handy to have from time to time!

CinnyBun .... oops, I mean MD

BEAUTIFUL poem ... that was medicinal but didn't taste bad !

Mimi

Whaaaaaaahahahha

we're like the OLD LADY who says:

"I remember better days and better men."

also from Enchanted April

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

"ouch"

That must have felt rather good ... since I was pretty snotty towards you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> of late .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I am an excellent sliver-remover .... not to worry.

Thanks !

Cafe-Royale


This cheered me up immensely by the way !!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I have decided to stick to THIS thread for awhile ... sanity may return some day ...or I may have to go looking for it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Your aim is SWELL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I am pleased!

hehehehe.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What was that old saying..."what goes around...."

I've been close to leaving several times myself, so I have a little understanding of the frustration level you seem to be feeling right now.

Just remember how the little guy learned to be a very efficient lumberjack in the Sahara Forest. One swing at time, and before long...the whole big forest is chopped down. And yes, they no longer call that area of the world the "Sahara Forest."

Now don't lose those tweezers, there will be others who will need them from time to time.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

In this life I'm a woman

In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear.

When you're a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.

I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.

I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.

I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear.

Don't male bears wander off to find other mates and leave their females to raise the young? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Nope,not gonna be a bear.

I am not coming back.I am going to float around the stars and seek knowledge.Dream of my girls and hopefully be at peace and with God. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

O

Spicey-Musical Group: How goes the rest cure? I could use one meself IRL.

Would send coffee if I could; I had some really lovely Sumatra blend yesterday. By midday, I was buzzing like a gerbil on speed and had forgotten all my problems, along with 90% of what I was supposed to be doing at work. I highly recommend it. Of course, I work in marketing as opposed to medicine. Logic and reason are more a detriment to my work than otherwise. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And it occurs to me that I completely forgot to wish you a happy unbirthday previously. Many happy returns!

<---- going back to the dank cave to crank out more shoddy advertisements and purple prose.

How are you feeling today, Pep?

Still nursing the black eyes from lemon's 2x4?

I go through what you're feeling sometimes. You want to grab people and shake them. "Don't you see how stupid you're being?!"

I had to realize that I was emotionally integrating all of them. I was carrying frustration from one case into another until suddenly, the next newbie to show up received the full measure frustration invoked by their predecessors...and they wondered just exactly what happened.

Go take a ride in your H's Corvette again...send us a postcard. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Low