Bob, where did God promise to protect you from life's trials and tribulations? Do you feel he has made this promise to you?

bob, after i posted and signed off, i thought...

maybe i have my persepective because i am not the one that was betrayed.

and i appologize.

i think i am trying to talk to bob like he is my BH, and in a more positive way that would help him so he can heal.

i don't think that is fair of me.

i'm no longer even sure if i should try to continue to participate in this conversation. but that is a seperate question and one for me to figure out.

this is confusing... cuz part of me still really thinks what i am saying is valid.

God would not say, "here is bowel cancer" anymore than i believe he said... "i'm going to arrange squid to have an affair". she did that, not God.

Mel he didn;t, but he promised to answer prayers. I am trying to work out if it is worthwhile asking God to intercede in our lives or not. It seems not, what I am being told here.

But ... you have been betrayed in life, haven't you?

We all experience betrayal by fellow humans.

Bob, you answered no to my question but then went on to say that 'yes, but he promised to answer my prayers." Meaning that you expect him to protect you from all trials and tribulations and make your life trouble free. You do expect this, don't you? And I just wonder where this expectation comes from?

((( MEL )))

thought you could use this .... Are ya feeling frustrated ???

There is only so much you can take sometimes (other thread .... not this one)

Thanks, I needed that hug badly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I am learning to just walk away.

Mel, you're putting words in my mouth my dear friend.

'please look after my marriage" and " please don;t let my Mom get cancer" are not the same prayers as " make my life trouble free Lord".

Do you pray for God to intercede in your life with an expectation that he might answer positively Mel ?

My expectation comes from Scripture :

John 14:13 "and whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14:14 If ye shall ask anything in my name, that will I do."

and

Matthew 19 "I also tell you this: If two of you agree down here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together because they are mine, I am there among them."

Can anyone relate to this thinking?

[color:"blue"]~~~> "I am so flawed that no one could possibly love me or would choose to be with me if I were completely exposed for what I really am."[/color]

I was reading about the difference between guilt and shame.

guilt is feeling bad about what I have done

shame is feeling bad about who I am

and borrowed shame is feeling bad about who I am because of what someone else has done

Mel:

Just remember that those that are closer to D-Day often are in a fog of our own. Sometimes we want to just hear what we want to hear or rationalize that what we are thinking is correct. MM gave me some advice once when I was in the same place that kind of PO'd me at the time. I thought I was just being rationale and moving through the process. But after I thought about what he said for a while and finally acknowledged that as much as I wanted to stay where I was in the process and not do the right things to move forward, he was right.

I followed his advice and after doing this was able to continue to journey instead of stalling out. I know it is frustrating for you and others, but keep the faith. What you do is important and even though not everyone listens, many do and it is lifechanging. You knock a few years off of purgatory everytime you take time out to help someone you don't know. You can lead them to water, you can't make them drink.

..... so true ... but can't we push their heads down into the water and hold them there ... just a little??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Pep:

I think you pretty much summarized a significant reason for my FWW's A. Took us several thousand dollars of IC to get down to this and you summarized it in one sentence for free.
As for borrowed shame, I think every BS experiences that for a long time, maybe forever.

~~~> "I am so flawed that no one could possibly love me or would choose to be with me if I were completely exposed for what I really am."

thats squid that is.

Pep:

Yes, for most of us at one time or another we need our heads held there for a while. But as one of the other posters here by-line says: Some people just don't get it. They don't get it that they don't get it.

bwaahaaa!

In answer to your question, Pep. Yes. Yes to guilt, yes to shame and yes to borrowed shame. Working on all of this.

~~~> "I am so flawed that no one could possibly love me or would choose to be with me if I were completely exposed for what I really am."

[color:"red"] this is vanity [/color]

Agreed. Self importance

Bob, but aren't those the very things that are the substance of our trials and tribulations? He never promised you a trouble free marriage that was free from trials, that is my point. God allows evil to happen. He allowed your W to choose evil. And then gave you the resources and the strength to fight against it.

Just look at the experiences of the apostles, they did not experience protection from life. And that is because God does not promise to protect us from life. He only promises us the strength to survive while abiding in him.


I never send up a wish list or dictate to God, because he knows better what I need than I do. My wishes pale in comparison to the blessings he has given me. Instead I ask for His will to be done in my life and the strength to hang onto my [censored] if the road is going to be rough. And, baby, it has been damn rough at times. But He was faithful and kept His word to carry me through and give me the strength and resources to make it through to the other side. He has never let me down.


I think you are not interpreting this in context to the rest of the Bible. He expects us to ask that HIS WILL be done. What if we ask him, "in His name," to kill our neighbor because we want him dead? Do you think God will strike our neighbor dead? If not, then why not since that seems to be the strict literal interpretation of that verse when taken out of context with the rest of the Bible.

Thanks, nottoday. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The vanity of this is that hiding our 'secret identity' is energy-consuming ... leaving little self to love others.