Since my husband has told me something is still missing then I believe I have not changed enough. I am going to try to change more. Just one problem is he has the 2 wk bussines trip, that she is going on, and leaves monday. My plan is to expose before Monday, but my concern is that it will have a negative impact because I have not changed enought yet.

What do you think definelty expose now? [color:"blue"] [/color]

YES..........Stop wasting time and start NOW !!!!!!!! Every second you delay in exposing this affair, is a second that you let the affair "build strength".


Lem

duncad,

Why would you want to wait? Do you think he needs two more weeks of this fantasy he has been living with OW. Don't warn him, just do it. He isn't going to do anything on his own to stop this A. Putting off taking this necessary step will do nothing towards ending the A, beginning recovery and saving your marriage. If you act quickly enough today and inform management where he and OW work, one of them will probably be pulled off this business trip.

I lived in a FOG of my own when my FWH was having his 8 month A. If I had found out while it was still on-going, I would have exposed him immediately. His company would have probably fired him since OW worked for him as a freelance employee. Dumb a** was actually paying for her expenses on business trips and charging his company for it. There is no limit to the stupidity demonstrated by WS while they are in FOG.

Thanks, my husband is doing the same thing paying having the company to pay for either her or him to go on trips they do not need to go on.

Duncad,

If your husband will not stop the A you must EXPOSE to help put an end to the A. At the same time you work on changing.

k

Its hard to make plan A work without exposing. Expose all in one day, no warnings to w/s or o/p. Must be surprise attack and all done in one day so that fallout is over in one swoop.
Once you break up the fantasy of the illicit affair, and implement the killing spouse with kindness and making yourself look as attractive as possible to w/s in effort to win him back or at least take notice to see what he is going to miss, plan A will start to work.
Best of luck

Expose, the only people I told immediately was his parents but it took me 5 months to expose, mostly it was my WH telling me I should keep it a secret.

Once I expose I realize what a wonderful support group I had with his family and friends. The only problem was he moved to Las Vegas with the OW and didn't tell anyone. We were all shock when I was served DV papers from Nevada. (I live in NJ). So he didn't really feel the full effect of me exposing the A since he wasn't around.

Just do it in loving manner, saying you want to save your marriage and exposing the A will take the fantasy out of it and reality will set back in and then there will be chance of saving your marriage. You will realize how much support you will receive and people wanting you to help you save you marriage.

Expose now; the longer you wait the less effective.