Ok guys, some of you know where im at. I have made so many mistakes these last 4 months, moving out, twice <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> LBing my wife bad 3 times, the last time was really bad, me just lashing out at her and all the pain she has caused everyone.

So her I am now, 2 weeks ago she said she would never speak or see me again, well that lasted all of 2 days. She called but now her calls are very cold, mostly about the kids, but at times it seems she is happy to hear from me.

The affair ended as most of you know, it was a disaster waiting to happen from day one and it happend, his wife found out all ****** broke loose.

So now im just scared to death that it way to late to save my family. She did say the other day she saw us growning old together what ever that means. She is very nice when I see her in person but cold on the phone. But this has happend before, about 3 months ago and she came around and we dated some after that. I just wish I could of kept my HUGE mouth shut.

Im working on myself, my anger issues. Do I try to win her back?, leave her alone? or what? I have read all I can read on the site I just need to get the money for the books. I did listen to one of Dr. radio shows, seems very smart. I also see where some marriages that have gone thru much worse then the stuff we have have been saved.

I just hope her fog lifts before the divorce is final.

Thanks for any input you can give, Scott

If the affair has stopped, what is stopping you from moving back home. That is where you need to be. Being in the home will allow you to do Plan A more effectively, since the affair has ended and the omw knows, its up to you to be the best person you can be and showing your wife that you have changed. So make yourself attractive to your wife and tell her you won't talk divorce, you only talk marriage.
Don't make it easy for w/w. If she wants to seperate, let her move out, same goes for divorce.

Funny, I moved back in about 2 1/2 months ago, the affair had ended on his part, he was scared of getting caught by his wife. We had 3 really great weeks, went to the beach and had a great time, then he called and boom, she changed again. Things got hard but I was still in the house for the next 3 weeks.

Well I was stupid for moving back out, I know that now. The affair did end for good this lasttime. Everyone found out, wife, wifes family, it was a huge mess. Well at the time we were dateing and haveing a good time then I just lost it 2 weeks ago and boom things have gone down hill since. She had put the divorce on hold untill that day I LBed.

She also going thru this mid life crisis crap, she missed out on all her "fun" blah blah blah. I thought a few times in the last 3 months there was a real shot of getting back together but along with her affair, her mid life crisis, you have to add in she was molested by her father at age 8. So you see this woman is all messed up now. She is getting better day by day but she is no where near herself yet, the "fog" is still strong with her.

Moving back now would be a disaster, one I cant afford the house by myself (we rent). Heck she cant either if not for friends she would of had to move out already. She would freak out and so would her mom if I moved back in. Her mom is the one that made me move out in the first place. (I know im stupid).

Let me ask you this, if I were to try to move back, I think she took me off the lease, can I still move back in?

See my problems?

Falcon,

What you do is avoid LB's pure and simple. Be a good man to her, family, etc. Let the fog clear and show by your actions that you have changed and been changed by this. It will take awhile, but be calm.

It really is her, choice, unless you choose to end this, that is your call. But if you want the marriage, then you avoid LB's period no "yes...but's" you got that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Seriously, none.


It will take time. She has made a fool out of herself and she knows it. She has hurt you badly and she knows that as well. She is going to have to do some things herself and fix something herself before you two come back together. One of them is maintain NC for awhile.

So calm down, you are not in a bad position.

God Bless,

JL

Funny, she told me for the last 2 months give me time thats all I want, well you know my big mouth always gets me in trouble. Im keeping it shut now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I have to stop listening to other people to hehe. I know her better then anyone else in the world. I knew when she was lieing and when she wasnt.

I just have to get back into her good graces. And to heck with anyone who thinks im a fool for loving her, that includes her family.