Lynn,<P>I am a husband who got the OW pregnant during a very intimate relationship. I loved this woman very much, but there was no intent by either of us to conceive a child.<P>The pregnancy did occur. Of course, there were initial feelings of despair over how this was going to affect my family and hers. What buffered these feelings was the love bond shared with this OW.<P>During the pregnancy, I was included in the doctor visits. I did participate in the birthing process. All of this created a bond with the child, just as if the OW and I had been married. I know this is not pleasant for you to consider, but it is a fact.<P>Now that my child is in the world, I want to be a part of its life. After all, the baby is mine and I love it no less than if it were born to my wife. My wife accepts this, although it is not easy for her now. I admire her very much for it. She knows that the child is not at fault and deserves to know its dad. The relationship with the OW has been over, but that has nothing to do with my relationship with my child. Actually, the child transcends any relationship that existed with the OW, no matter how close it was.<P>I don't know what to say about your husband's feelings or thoughts. He might not want to hurt your feelings by expressing his true interest in and, yes, love for the baby. The OW may or may not be relevant at this point, which is what you would be more productive in determining. Try to gauge his interest in the OW. If it is not there, I would be less concerned, particularly if he will have little or no contact with her.<P>I hope this helps.
